Whew--Saturday fun.

Today we had our nanny (aka Mary Poppins) over because we took Tuesday off and hung with the girls. It was a crazy week because of it, but because it was so crazy I felt NO need to work today. What did I do instead?

1. Cleaned out my car. There were so many crumbs in my car. My husband and I had been joking that a family of squirrels could have eaten for months on the contents of my car. I don't think we were far off in our estimate.

2. Had lunch with my husband. Alone. Errrr... alone at a table in a crowded restaurant. What a concept. We were able to speak in complete sentences. We were able to have a whole conversation. It was weird. Good, but weird.

3. Found a new pair of work-out pants. My old ones made it through two pregnancies (tied below the belly). I figure it was time for a new pair. I can't seem to find the old ones. Maybe my husband was tired of them (they are kind of ratty) and tossed them.


Random Nada
Did I ever tell you how cheap I can be sometimes?

I have a skirt I bought in 1988 when I worked at "The Limited" for a very very short stint. You have to fold and hang a lot of clothes when you work there. It was an awful job. I was always getting marked down for my inability to fold. I can't fold clothes and make the folds look crisp. After that experience I went on to waiting tables. I preferred waiting tables. I was much better at it. You get to run around and multi-task when you are waiting tables. That is something I enjoy (did you ever notice that?).

Anyway, the purpose of this digression was not to tell you about jobs I held when I was young, but to tell you about "the skirt I bought in 1988." I still wear it. Do you still respect me? Granted I only wear the skirt to my dance class, but I still wear it. It's a black stretchy mini-skirt.

The funny thing is that many people in my class have said how cute the skirt is. That skirt is approaching 20 years old. We have some students in the class who weren't born until 1994. My skirt is 6 years older than them. (YIKES!) But I love that skirt. I probably spent $15 on it. I'd say it was a value purchase.

Recently I went to a store that already has pretty cheap inexpensive clothes. I found two skirts each on clearance for $6. I bought them. I love them. Heck, I would have paid $15 or even $20 for them. Their price of $6 just made my day!

4. I also tried on 4 other pairs of pants and about 8 shirts and decided none of them were things I wanted to add to my wardrobe. None of them were priced at $6 either.

5. Came home and snuck upstairs and am now blogging this.

I hear little girls in the backyard. I'm going to stretch for 10 minutes and then go down and give them hugs.

How was your day?

A quickie on T

I mentioned a few posts back that T had a "snuffly thing" going on. It was a little cold. Not a horrible one at all. She seems to be doing better in the nose department and worse in the cough department.

She's being a little trooper though and staying pretty happy during the day. She's been waking up and nursing more in the middle of the night, but I can't complain. I have seen much worse. I think she's going to be more like N than K (thankfully!) in terms of her sleep habits. Miss N was such a good sleeper as a wee one. Even when she was sick.

Little girl stuff

Miss T (1 year, 1 month) ate a crayon tonight. It was a red one. I saw her come toddling over to me with red stuff dripping out of her mouth and down her shirt. I was a little freaked out and then I realized it was a crayon because of the wax in her teeth. She ended her meal with a breastmilk chaser. Yum.

Miss N (4 and 2/3s) got her toenails painted for the first time tonight. They are a very faint gold color. She picked it out of my stash. I painted my toes to match. It was such a girly moment. She has always been such a tom-boy that I was surprised that she wanted me to do it. After we finished she was all worried that the gold color wouldn't match anything she was wearing. I tried to explain that toes didn't have to "match." She decided she wanted blue. I don't have blue. One of my friends often paints her toes blue or green, but I don't have those colors. I'm a hot-pink or red-red kind of girl usually. Every so often I go into a plum kind of shade.

Miss K (28 months) started to throw a screaming fit again tonight when the nanny (aka Mary Poppins) left. Literally. She threw herself at the door. I did what any good Mom would do. I bribed her with a new video. I checked out Cinderella from the library. Crisis averted. I couldn't do another night like last night. K is happily watching with her sister N right now. Miss K is such a girly-girl. She loves princesses.

Thursday night

I think there was something in the air today... Miss K (28 months) seemed exhausted and was NO fun. She cried for 40 minutes. She was crying because, "She wanted to go to our nanny's house to do a sleep over." Yea, right.

I tried every parenting trick there was. After a little SGR Girl she started crying that she needed a bath (and boy did she!) and then during the bath she seemed to snap out of the crying funk she was in. She's now happily reading books with her daddy and sister N.

Miss N (4 and 2/3s) was just a really good girl tonight. I think we're entering a new phase. Where Miss K is the really really really difficult one, where Miss T (1 year 1 month) is difficult and Miss N is pretty good. Last year, Miss N was pretty darn difficult. Very difficult. I am not sure that we'll ever have a phase where they are all easy going.

Miss T is exhausted tonight. She hardly napped. She's been crying (in her crib) for the last 10 or so minutes. Ahhh... As I typed it, she quieted down. I'm exhausted. I need to go do 3 more emails.

One more

Here's another short entry....

A. The 4-hour presentation, it went well. It is over. It was a video conference.

B. I am happy to report that in addition to the content of the video conference being good, my hair, it was good (remember I have to see myself on the other monitor the entire time). My hair stylist is MY BEST FRIEND right now. I am doing nothing but washing it and combing it out. I am not drying it. I am not curling it. I am not futzing with it in any way and it looks decent. I still liked it after seeing it on the monitor for 4 hours.

C. The other thing (yesterday for work) went well too. I have to do it again today though.

D. I am horrified. I just realized I forgot to answer someone's email and I need to do it.

E. I have ~190 emails to read and probably 20 to really answer (a lot are just read then delete). That is just because I didn't do a lot Tuesday (supposed to have been off) and Wednesday in meetings for SEVEN hours.

F. Haven't found the notebook yet. My friend (DM) and I came up with a plan though. If I don't find it, we decided I should just quit my job. It made me feel better to have a back-up plan. I don't need the notebook until spring/summer '07 when I will be doing that analysis again. That gives me lots of time to find it, or find a new job. (Heh.)

One minute

I'm giving myself one minute to blog tonight.

0. We went to the aquarium and I only had a couple of panic attacks. More on that soon. (It was fun, but taking 3 little girls ANYWHERE is tiring.)

1. I sent off my slides for that 4 hour presentation tomorrow errrrr today (it's after midnight).

2. I'm mostly prepared for the thing I have to do 1 hour after the 4 hour presentation ends.

3. I can't find a notebook that has ALL OF MY NOTES about a very tricky statistical technique. I am the ONLY person where I work that knows about it. I am HOPING my notebook is in my office. If it is I am typing up all my notes tomorrow night. If it's not, I will not panic too much but just tear my whole house apart searching for it.

Good night! (More tomorrow! With less stress hopefully!)

Out of the mouths of ...

tired, overworked, geeky moms...

N (4.5) was talking (non-stop) about her theory of how people learn. She was talking about how she learned all of her letters and how she was getting better and better at sounding words out and almost reading (and didn't stop for a breath of air)... and then she pondered learning and knowing again and how it all took place. I looked at her and said, "You're quite the little epistemologist."

Ummm... yea... TOO MUCH WORK.

The amazing T

She's 1 year and 1 month.

She's totally a toddler. WHERE DID MY BABY GO??????

She's learned to do nose-kisses (eskimo kisses?).

She kisses me and says, "mamamamam, Mu-wah!"

She pulled up her shirt last night and said, "Belly."

I just love it when they start talking.

I am starting to think that when they hit 28 months it gets really really hard. More on that soon.

Work (the never ending saga)

Hi, my name is J______ and I'm a workaholic. (Shocked you with that confession, huh?)

I've been one for more than 15 years now.

It all started when I was in college. I had received a scholarship. I was a "G______" scholar at my University. I wasn't an overachiever then. Hell, I barely did homework. At the end of my sophomore year, I was barely making it to classes pretty easy going. I was making mostly A's, but a few B's here and there. I met this guy and he was part of the same scholar program that I was in and he told me I needed to work harder to get straight A's.

He was kind of cute so I decided to take his advice.

Fast forward six years. He (see above) was still in my life and we were in a very dysfunctional relationship, but he had already left his mark. He had turned me into an overachieving workaholic.

I met my husband-to-be shortly after I managed to escape aforementioned dysfunctional relationship. He (MWH) was so balanced. He didn't work more than 40 hours a week. I was working about 30-40 a week (supposed to have been 20) and writing a dissertation. Yea. Overachieving again.

I finished the dissertation and got a full-time job. Apparently I am a very inefficient worker because I always seem to work WAY more than I'm supposed to work. Granted, I get a LOT done. I have done a great many very fun and interesting things (in an academic fun sort of way). (Actually more in a start-up sort of way...an academic start-up if that's possible.)

I live in area where most people are workaholics. It's part of our culture. I fit in. I FOUND MY PEOPLE! We're all overachieving stressed out geeks here. (I use the term geek fondly and loosely.)

The worst thing about my workaholism, is that I turned my husband into a workaholic. I didn't mean to, but I was always working and I pulled him into the craziness. He works more than 40 hours a week now. He checks email right before going to bed and the first thing when he gets up... just LIKE ME. I don't think he's yet checked in the middle of the night (yes, I have).

Now, we have 3 kids. I'm only supposed to work 25 hours a week. I can even only work 20 if I want. Ha. I work ~30 almost every week. This week, I'm taking tomorrow off. I should not be because I have that big presentation on Wednesday, but we planned to do this little day trip (to a nearby aquarium with the girls) before the presentation moved from Thursday to Wednesday and I didn't want to rearrange my life for my work. I ONLY WORK 1/2 TIME, but I think about it all of the time it seems.

You will be happy to know though, I said, "No" to a new project.

Are you proud?

I am walking around practicing saying, "All of my time is accounted for by the C___ project, the T____ project and the RT_____ project until April. Then my time on the RT____ project is supposed to wind down, but then the SC_____2 project picks up. I should have some free time about a year from now. Your project sounds fabulously interesting, but I don't have any time to do the quality of work on your project that I would want to do if I worked on it." If the person hasn't fallen asleep given the length of my explanation, I'll be shocked.

Of course, between you and me, all of that is subject to change if the T_____ project got new funding. I would drop everything for the T____ project and work a LOT. Oh, and you heard it here first.... If the T____ project doesn't get a significant amount of new funding in the next two years, I am so out of here and on to other things. (The concerned reader (aka KH) should note that I said the same thing back in 1999/2000 and look, I'm still here.)

I'm going to stop saying, I could quit at anytime. I am working on realizing that I need to ONLY work on projects that I love. I work really hard and I do good work. If I have a problem in the future because this is the strategy I am taking then I'll figure out a new strategy and do something different later.

I need to catch up on my life and get things in order. I need to make sure I am doing what I love. I don't have any time to waste on boring projects!

Cuteness

I was working on my presentation, but T (1) decided it was time to get up. I had to write this one down... She has a stuffed dog. When she saw him this morning she started panting.

MWH (my wonderful husband) says she's been doing this when she sees dogs for a couple of days now. Right now, she is now petting her puppy and panting too. So. darn. cute.

Snuffles

T (1) has a snuffly thing going on. She's not sleeping great at night. I'm hoping it doesn't get too much worse.

I have a big presentation on Wednesday and need to get it all prepared by tomorrow morning to go over it with the woman who leads the effort with that client.

I'm sure I will be back soon. I have 3 posts mostly written.

Fall Routine

We've mostly adjusted to our new fall routine. Today marked the start of K's (28 months) gymnastics class. She loves gymnastics. We had a little break (about 4 weeks) between the end of the summer classes and the start of the fall ones. She kept asking when we could go back. Last night we told her it was "tomorrow." She woke up this morning at 7 asking if we could go right then. I said we needed to sleep a little more and then we could go.

At 8:30 she got up and got dressed. This photo was taken in July, but that's what she looked like walking to class today. It's what she always looks like (purse and all).


Here's a photo of her doing a summersault. Note that her toes are pointed. She's got so much enthusiasm in class. She just bounces. She works hard. For someone not quite 2.5 she is really coordinated. (Nah, I'm not biased.)

This fall we have a new teacher. So far she likes Teacher G, but as we were walking home and talking about the class, I asked if she had fun. She said, "Yes, but I was sad too because I missed my friends." I inquired as to who her friends were. She said, "Teacher C. I miss Teacher C." Awwww. We'll see Teacher C tomorrow because she is N's teacher. We'll tell her.

Glitter Glue

I just bought N (4.5) some glitter glue. She loves it. She is having so much fun decorating her pictures with it!

Too tired...

This is a first... I'm too tired to blog. I have a lot of things I'd like to tell you about, but I. am. too. tired.

Miss T went down for the evening last night at 7:30. I was worried about it when I got home at 8, but didn't get her up. I SHOULD HAVE (hindsight is always 20/20). I had NO idea how bad it would be. I imagined she'd wake up an hour or so earlier in the morning. That would have been BAD... Instead, and much worse, she woke up at midnight and didn't really go back to sleep unti 3 am. I wasn't up the whole time, but I was listening to her on the monitor and trying to decide what to do. Between 2 and 3 I was getting more and more angry at myself, her and Mary Poppins. I consoled myself at 3 am with, well, maybe since she's been up for 3 hours she'll sleep in until 9 am and then I'll get a decent amount of sleep.

Who knows what she might have done... at 7:30 there was hammering.... Our neighbors are having their house re-shingled and the roofers started at 7:30 am. I WAS SO MAD. At 7:30 am I had no idea how I would survive the day and if I would get anything accomplished. I am surprised at what I actually was able to do.

I'll be back soon... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

When no means yes...

T (1) is at that phase where you ask her a question and she shakes her head no, even if she means yes.

She is such a toddler too. She is starting to climb up on things (oh yay). If you tell her no, she screams like the T__-dactyl she is.

Sharing a love

Who doesn't love the ocean? Here N (4 and 2/3s now) and I are in the ocean. The first picture was when she was 6 months old and she was experiencing it for the first time. The second when she was 20 months old. She and I take on the cold waves together. N loves the water.





I was going to write about MWH (my wonderful husband) but there is so much to write. I'll make it a goal to do so for next Love Thursday. He is my love.

One of the things I kept thinking about tonight as I was thinking about writing is how much he makes me smile. When we first met, I walked around with a big silly grin on my face. I was just so happy. I still am. We met about 10 years ago. I can't believe we've been hanging out for so long.

Happy Love Thursday!

Wednesday WHINE

I'm still tired. K (2 and 1/3) is giving up her nap, but this child doesn't seem to need any sleep at all. It's 10:30 pm. I am now speaking very loudly and firmly to the girls (N & K) BECAUSE THEY SHOULD BE ASLEEP NOW. BOTH OF THEM AREN'T. I'm tired. THIS SHOULD BE MY TIME. T (1) went to bed just fine at about 7:30. She'll probably get up early... I should go to sleep now. I need to send one work email first.

K's been up since 8 am. My back was hurting last night and popping in and out of joint. When I woke up this morning my whole back was screwy. I went to the chiropractor. I haven't gone since April. My back is hurting down into my legs. I'm popping advil.

T is weaning herself and I'm sort of in pain from that. (She's not weaned, but she only nursed 1 time today. I'm sure she'll wake up in the next hour or so and want to nurse again though... I SURE HOPE SO! She's self-weaning. K 28 months shows no sign of weaning ever. I'll write more about this as soon as I get a chance.)

I heard from Mary Poppins that my dear friend (DM) had a horrible terrible awful day too. I'm thinking of you D! I know what you are doing is so hard. I wish I were there... errrr actually that you were here. I miss you! (D is my friend who left to live abroad for a couple of years.) More soon and hopefully with less whine and crank.

Ahhhh... Love.

Today I saw this older couple. They were taking a walk through our neighborhood. They were each using a cane (hers in her right hand and his in his left hand) and they were holding hands. It. was. so. sweet.

Ahhh... Love. This could be my Love Thursday entry, but I think for tomorrow I'll try to write something about MWH and me. We're coming up on 10 years together and 8 years of marriage. It's been a wonderful decade. I hope when we're old and using canes we're still holding hands too.

My new friend....

is going to be my downfall. I can't believe she shared this.

Now I'm passing it on to you all. You all can become obsessed too.

This one in particular will be the one primarily responsible for the downturn in my career. My kitchen floor will probably never be clean again.

Before it's too late....

Happy "Talk like a pirate day!"

ARRRRR! Bring me one noggin of coffee eeerrrmm rum, now, won't ye, matey?

A little sweetness

Miss N (4.5) had a "goody bag" from a birthday at preschool today. In it there was a pack of M&Ms. She was so excited about them. As soon as we got to my car she wanted to eat some. I let her. She said, "I'll share with you. I'll eat one and you can have one and we'll make that a pattern and do it again and again." Awwwwww.

247.2%

That's how hard I feel I've been working in the last couple of weeks. I'm just WIPED OUT today. I should be better tomorrow. I hope.

Fill 'er up!

2 of the 3 playing in the back yard. The cuteness factor is high!

One for the books

Tonight, K (2 and 1/3) ate broccoli.


Yea, it is amazing!

Unlike N, (4 and 2/3s), K is NOT a good eater. The vegetables she will eat include:

carrot juice
tomato sauce (on pizza and pasta)
guacamole (a very good one I think)
pretzles with pea flour in them (yea, I'm reaching here)

The fruit she will eat:

apples (about one a month)
fruit smoothies (bananas, strawberries and yogurt blended)
(Sometimes blueberries blended in)

How did I accomplish this extraordinary feat you ask?

I made this rice dish (brown rice, peanut sauce, chicken) and gave her some of the rice and mashed the broccoli beyond recognition. I then fed it to her off of my fork and pretended that I didn't care whether she ate it or not.

Sheer genius huh?

It was only 3 little florets, but that's 3 more florets than she has eaten in the last year I believe.

I am excited!

Expressing herself

I think I told you T's sign for nursing... She pounds on my chest. As in, get a clue woman, nurse me, DAMMIT.

Guess what her all done sign is? Shaking the high chair tray as hard as possible, as in GET ME OUT OF HERE NOW!

She's cute, but not subtle.

She also expresses affection in the same vivacious way though. I ask for a kiss, and she turns to me and says, "Muuuu-wah" and plants one on me. Last night I got 15 minutes of lovin' just like that. It. was. too. sweet. I nearly melted.

As my friend Nino says, I am lucky!

Halloween Post #1

I got matching costumes for N (4 and 2/3s) and K (2 and 1/3). They are really cute pink princess dresses. I might take K's back and get her a "Belle" from Beauty and the Beast because Belle has been her favorite princess for a while. N has seen the pink dresses and really liked them, but she seems to understand they can't play with them for a while. I bought them Friday and she hasn't asked for them all weekend. (Or alternative explanation... She forgot we bought them.)

K has very strong opinions on what my wonderful husband (MWH) and I should be.

She wants MWH to be a spider.
She wants me to be a Pooh Bear or a mouse. I asked if I could be a grey squeaky mouse and she agreed to that.
But I can't be a princess, a cat, nor a dancer

K wanted me to be a spider, but I convinced her I wouldn't make a very good spider.

K says she wants to be an owl (hoot hoot). On Thursday and Friday last week it was a bat. She had it all planned out. She would make a bat mask and wings and be a cute little bat. Now she wants to be an owl. I asked her if we should call her Hedwig. She didn't get the reference.

Paper Update

I spent some more time with the paper and I feel like it is in pretty good shape... If only we had another week! Or even another 2 days. However, we will get a draft in tomorrow (it was due Friday--I think we're doing pretty well in terms of timeline given how many other things we have happening).

We'll see what goes in as the "first official" draft and if the other author and I agree on it (completely). Both she and I agree that we need two more (and maybe 3 revisions) after feedback before it's final. We're okay with that. This is the process for an academic book chapter. This process is actually less structured (so far) than most chapters for books we've written. We'll see how it turns out though. (The editors could start freaking out after they read the first drafts and "get tough" with us!)

I think I've told you about my love/hate feelings for this kind of academic writing. Right now, I am feeling like this is a good paper and that this process has been a very positive (but time consuming) one. I feel like I have learned a lot and that is why I do it.

Guacamole Girls

I think I've mentioned (at least once and probably several times) that N (4 and 2/3s) and K (2 and 1/3) both love guacamole. At our current favorite eating establishment (A____), they go nutso over the guacamole. Miss T (1!) also seems to really like it. The last time we went to A____ I would put a big scoop on a tortilla chip and she would suck it off. (Pretty funny.) She ate a lot of it. 3 little guacamole girls.

(Should I change the blog name? Heh.)

ennui

Sigh. I am bored and restless.

I think I am just tired. I have gotten up early all week and stayed up late writing. Tonight my co-author is keeping the draft and I'm not supposed to worry about it until tomorrow afternoon. Yippee. We worked so hard to meet the deadline of the today for the paper, and we didn't finish. I think that's bringing on some of the blah feeling.

It's not the end of the world. I knew two weeks ago we wouldn't make it. That we would end up taking this weekend too. I wish I would have planned to get a babysitter. My poor husband will have to do a little extra. I am hopeful we can finish by Monday. I think we can.

I am hopeful that I can work 2-3 hours tomorrow and 2-3 on Sunday and then hopefully we can send it off on Monday. The one thing I should be very glad about is that I am actually getting paid to write this paper. Often times I have to write papers in my spare time. That's always fun. (I do so much volunteer work for my job. I'm not complaining, but I am tired.) (I went today to a meeting with some other folks and though there are parts of their work lives that I like, I wouldn't actually want to work there I decided. I thought I might have before today's meeting. I was wrong. And it was just a meeting, not an interview or anything.)

The cool news... Miss N (4 and 2/3s) is painting a t-shirt for me. I'll take a picture soon.

What else? My Mom's birthday is coming up. I need to figure out something to get her.

What else....? I just got a potential new client at work asking me to write a proposal to do a project I like. I am excited about it, but I still have that unsettled feeling. I think I will feel better tomorrow after 1) watch a Buffy episode, and 2) get some sleep!

First draft of THAT paper due tomorrow

Today was a busy busy day... Work, work, work. I worked in my office with my door shut for about 3 hours straight today. So unlike little social butterfly me. The last time I did that much work in the office in one day was probably September 2001. Seriously. We were writing a big grant then. It was awful, but I'll save that story for another day. Maybe I've done it a few times since, but usually when I really need to work I just work from home.... Anyway...

K and N had dentist appointments.... they did great! I was so proud! I'll tell you all about it later.

Something else good happened today, but I'm at a loss right now and can't remember it. I. am. so. overwhelmed. with. this. paper.

More soon. I am so tired!

More on the "love to snuggle" theme!

If I would have looked at my photos from one year ago last week, I would have added this picture to last week's post.

However, I'm not that organized. Life is too crazy.

I took that photo myself (that I'm featuring this week) while wearing T (1 now!) in the sling. I call it self-baby portrait. T was a little over 2 weeks old then.

Hey, I just realized... the last two weeks, my pictures could be part of an "I love my sling" collection.

Happy Love Thursday!

Being positive

I wrote a "Top Ten Reasons I hate writing academic papers" post, but don't know if I want to publish it. I think it might 1) be offensive and 2) I try not to post things that might come back to bite me in various body parts. Even "being anonymous" I try to be somewhat careful* in what I post. If you'd like to see those top ten reasons, you can email me. The writing of the "Top 10" both amused me and made me feel better, so maybe now I'll just stick to the positive side of things...

The 3 good things about writing academic papers.

I get to drink LOTS OF COFFEE!
It feels so good when you are done! (Like when you stop hitting yourself in the head with a hammer!)
You get another publication for the old CV.


*No one is perfect and I have sometimes regretted a post. I have removed a few posts after I've published them because I didn't want them laying around collecting dust in Google's archives (though some might still be there anyway).

A bed!

I have this crazy idea that soon we'll have all 3 little girls sharing a room (and that they will actually sleep) (in our new house--still planning to move to it in November). (That's one crazy sentence! I'm not changing it. It's got parentheses, italics, dashes, commas...OH MY! Did you understand it?)

In hopes of one bedroom and 3 sleeping girls, I found this bed. The bottom bed should hold two little girls (it's full size) and the there is a top bunk behind the window (and the bunk area is enclosed on both sides).

Theoretically, (and I STRESS THEORETICALLY) 3 little girls will be able to sleep in the room in this bed. I just put down a deposit on that bed. Am I crazy?

I'm going to have to do a post about sleep in our house soon. Awwww, heck, I'll just do some of that sleep post now... K (28 months) still likes to sleep in OUR room either in our bed or in the portable crib in there. I don't know when the last time it was that she slept in her own room (probably early May... before she learned to climb out of her crib). T (1!) sleeps in her own room in a crib (from about 9 pm -6 am and then goes back to sleep after nursing from 6-8 or 9 or sometimes even 10!). N (4 and 2/3s) sleeps in her own bed in the room that K is supposed to be sharing with her. I think part of the reason K is in our room is that she is ready for a bed. We haven't bought one yet because I just want to wait until we go to the new house. So what do you think? Will this bed work?

Full disclosure: That picture was taken from the website of the place where we're buying the bed. It's not my picture and if you want to know more about where we're getting our bed, leave me a comment (and your email if I don't have it).

Miss N

Tonight, Miss N (4 and 2/3s) would not let me help her do anything to get ready for bed. She gave herself a bath (I supervised), she brushed her own hair, (I got to brush on the pretext of brushing and looking for whether she needed a haircut or not (she does, and I knew that, but that was my excuse to get the brush)), she blew her hair dry, and she brushed her teeth (put the toothpaste on too). It's kind of funny to me that almost exactly a year ago she decided she was going to dress herself and now tonight she decided to do all the other grooming care.

She is also getting more and more helpful. As in actually helpful. Sometimes she's not, but usually she is. Wow. They grow up so fast! She told me tonight that she was learning to sound words out too. We'll see when we read books in a moment.

Someone slap me!

I had a moment of calm and I wondered if maybe I had too much nanny. That maybe I wasn't getting enough time with the wee ones. I don't have too much nanny. I can't give up any time because at a drop of a hat, my life turns insane on me. I work in an insane place. I love it, but it is client-driven and therefore insane. Clients sometimes say, and we'd like XXX, YYY, ZZZ, AAA, BBB, CCC, DDD, etc. in 3 days please.

Then we jump. Very high. And defy gravity. Until they let us come down.

Or sometimes, even though we know we have to write a chapter for a book in late May, we don't start in on it until 2.5 weeks before the chapter is due in September because, well, the queen of project management is busy taking vacations. (No anger here... no!)

Sometimes my eyebrow twitches.

Sometimes I end up with 5 project deliverables due all at the same time.

Sometimes my husband likes me not to be insane.

So I don't have too much nanny. Just slap me next time I think that 'kay? (It's all 'cause my eyebrow stopped twitching that I think I have too much nanny.)

Miss K

Miss K (28 months) is now officially the same age N was when Miss K was born. Miss K has been a big sister for so long already. It's crazy!

Miss K is cute and smart and so 2. I must say that age 2 is easier the second time around. I know what to expect! Even though they N and K different kids, and about as opposite as you could get, I just know more about how K thinks and why she acts a certain way because of N.

5 years ago...

It was a Tuesday. We woke up to my brother calling. I couldn't hear him exactly on the answering machine... It sounded like he said something about bombing something. I got up and listened to it again. My brother is known for his practical jokes, but he had said New York City. My Wonderful Husband (MWH) and I were supposed to go to NY that Friday to see my friend and meet her new baby. I was about 22 weeks pregnant with N.

I went to play the message on the answering maching again and it DID say "terrorists" and "the World Trade Center blown up." I was still a little sleepy and I didn't know if my brother was joking or not. I didn't think he'd joke about something like that, but I was hoping that perhaps he was. I ran for my computer (to look at Google news) and MWH flipped on the TV. For an eternity he and I stayed in bed watching it all on TV. It was completely surreal.

I was very stressed that day. Little N was a very quiet and calm baby inside of me, but that day she kicked like crazy. She must have been feeling my stress. MWH andf I couldn’t stop watching the TV for fear that something else bad would happen. Finally around noon we were both depressed and freaked out and decided we should go to work. Driving into work was very weird. I felt totally vulnerable in a way I never had before. I stayed at work for about 2 hours, but I felt better having gone. Very few people were there. The ones who were there were hugging and crying a lot--and I don't work in a huggy kind of place.

I am glad that on most days life now seems similar to what it was before 9/11/01. 5 years ago I wondered what it would be like. I am so sorry for all the people who lost loved ones. It was a horrible, horrible day.

one million (2 little things)

N (4.5) told me that one million was a very big number. I agreed. I asked, "Can you think of a number bigger than one million?" She thought and said, "38." She's only 4.5. I laughed--at least she picked a number larger than my age.

We then talked about how you can always think of a number bigger by just thinking of "one more." We discussed one million and one... one million and two... (one million 38 and etc.). At the end of our conversation, I'm not sure she really believed me that one million was bigger than 38. (I think she can't conceptualize the vastness of the quantity one million... It is a lot!)

Last night, we were taking a little walk and she was having fun stepping on my shadow. I remember doing that as a kid. No one told me, how much fun, nay wonderful, it was going to be to get to re-live childhood with my children. It. is. so. much. fun.

6 is cheaper than 5

Warning: Another rant.

Today we went to a big bagel chain to buy some bagels. I wanted to buy 5 bagels. I told the bagel-getter-person what I wanted. She put them in a bag for me. I went up to pay for them.

The cashier said, "Would you like to get 6 instead of 5? Half a dozen bagels are cheaper than 5."

I wanted to reply, "No, I really only want 5. YOU and the big corporation you work for are causing an obesity problem in America."

Instead, since he was the cashier, and about 16, and probably not involved in any policy making decisions in relation to the corporation, I said, "Sure, I'll take 6*." But DAMMIT this is another problem just like I covered here.

* I thought about saying, let's pretend I got 6 and charge me for 6, but only give me five because I don't actually want 6 and I'll be happy. I was nice and didn't say it because I figured it would only confuse him if I did.

The Mue-z-EM

That's kind of how K (28 months) says museum. We just took the girls this morning to the Children's Museum. Our girls have such a different conception of what a museum is than I did when I was young. Museums were very sterile when I was young. You didn't touch anything. Some of them smelled funny. This museum is all geared for touching and interacting and learning. The girls love going. When they are a little older we'll go to the one geared for kids slightly older, but these institutes are just marvelous. There's another one in a city an hour away that is also fabulous and again when they are slightly older we'll go.

At the Mue-z-EM, Miss K spent time playing with the alphabet display that has each letter written on a thing that looks like it's a drawer. Instead when you try to move the handle the letter is actually a cube that swings and you see something on the other side that begins with that letter. It's a pretty cute exhibit, and that's just one of the probably 100 things you can interact with and learn from in that little space (probably 20 x 20).

We had a bit of a transition issue when we were leaving. Their Dad and I decided it would be fun to take them to eat at all of our favorite restaurant (Yea, A___-Mex again...Sorry D, but you were in Milan, so you had to have gotten good food right?). They (N &K) wanted to eat the bad french fries and the ICEE(TM) drinks the museum sells. Oh the screaming and the drama. Both K and N declared vehemently they didn't want to eat at A___. If people saw us dragging the girls out as they were screaming that they didn't want to go to A___ and if those same people knew what A___ was, they were laughing. Of course the girls did eat when we got there.

We want to break the association between the museum and bad french fries. They always want to eat the french fries at the museum. We joined the musuem as members and are planning to go there often (or until I freak about the germs again... right now I'm not...probably end of October I'll start freaking) and I don't want to have to buy those fries everytime we go.

Anyway...I can't believe it's almost fall. The weather is cool. It's been cool almost all of August. We were going to go swimming again this summer (we went 3 or so times I believe) but it's too cool (in my opinion). There's an indoor pool not too far away. I need to go check it out.

How boring am I today? I'm not twitching, and I'll take boring over twitching! ... I should go work on that paper for work while 2 of the 3 girls nap.

2 pictures

I feel a little guilty when I mostly post about work. Here are a couple of pictures to make up for it.


These are T's (1!) curls. This photo was taken in early July. Can you believe how curly her hair is? Can you believe how blonde she is?














Here are the two big sisters walking to the park. They are dressed alike. Yea, I am bad, but I can't help myself. They are just cute when the match.

Short one!

Today I have been working on one section of that paper. It's only got to be 5 paragraphs (approximately). I have about 6 paragraphs written /outlined. I think I've spent about 2.5 hours working on the paper and then I've been sidetracked into other (related) work for about 2.5 hours. It's really hard for me to sit down and write this paper because it's about a project that is currently happening. When I write things, then I realize there are things I need to go do. This makes the writing S-L-O-W going. There are always 10,000 more things I could be doing for this project. Of course, I do have a finite amount of time and a finite budget. I came up with something new and cool to do with the project today. Let's hope my boss thinks so.

Next steps on the paper (external memory device):

Write some tips for another section
Write some tips from the 6 paragraphs
Write the 5 paragraphs about the T/N-Group

In other work related news, I have decided to start another blog where I can consider an aspect of my work. I really like the "post" as an organizational structure. It works for me. I can't let myself start this new blog though until AFTER this paper deadline (Friday--big party!).

In other news, my left eyebrow is almost not twitching. I spent time reading a book last night! For fun! A novel idea. (Heh, pun intended!)

In other news, I've decided to make a dinner menu that will cover at lease MONTH and use that as a guide for me and my grocery shopping. I'm sure this is probably a tip from FlyLady but I've never actually had time to read that site. I just know I probably should. HEH... TOO BUSY TO READ A WEB SITE ABOUT GETTING ORGANIZED AND SAVING TIME. How sad is that?

Lastly, the way I write best is to work for .5 to 1.5 hours and then get up and do something else for 5-10 minutes. Is that a symptom of Mommy-brain? Or is that just part of the writing process? (It's how I've always worked best, so I don't think it's a Mommy-brain thing.)

Several posts

Several posts are floating around in this stressed out head of mine.

I've called this blog an external memory device before. Today I'm going to call it a pensieve and hope that somehow this post will magically organize itself.

I tried a soft drink sucralose aka splenda today. Ummm, YUCK!

I can't drink nutrasweet (it gives me killer headaches) and wanted to try sucralose to see if I could drink it. I love real coke (with sugar). I don't like corn syrup. I'm not sure why I thought I might like an artificial sweetner. Maybe I just wanted to try it to confirm to myself that I didn't like it.

Next topic

Ohhhhh boy! I. am. so. full. of. milk. it. is. ridiculous. I am thinking of pumping, but I know that will only prolong the agony a little. What is happening is during the weekend, T (1!) is nursing a lot since I'm around a lot and I offer a lot. She accepts because she likes nursing a lot. Then I go to work during the week and most days she only nurses 3 times a day during the week as opposed to 5 plus on the weekend. We're NOT weaning. K (28 months) is still nursing 2x a day. My poor b*r*e*a*s*t*s are confused! You know nursing is supply-demand... I have a very excessive supply during the week and I. am. in. pain. It's not an infection. It's just engorgement. My shoulders are sore again. Actually, my arms and back are all sore. I'm actually happy that it wasn't just the non-nursing bra the last time.

Next topic

We treated our kitty and the vet thought that most likely the month-long, totally-kill-and-disrupt-the-flea-cycle stuff we put on him should take care of the whole problem. That we wouldn't even need to treat the carpet It's certainly better. N is healing and not getting any new bites. I sure hope we're done with fleas.

Next topic

Still working on this paper for work. I totally have a love-hate relationship with this process of writing for publication. I'm starting to turn the corner on this paper. If we only had about 2 more weeks for this draft I would be good. This draft is being sent out for comments. It's NOT the final draft. It's the final FIRST draft. That's what I have to keep reminding myself.

Next topic

Mary Poppins (our nanny) is not going anywhere. I am so ecstactic. We figured out something for the short-term to help things (financially) and we'll start looking for a long-term family that works with our schedule now too. Whew!

Next topic

Right at this moment (5:30-6:30) N (4.5) is painting t-shirts for her sisters. She is quite good. Much better than I could do. My little artist. That's why I'm getting to blog. I'm supervising. I didn't tell her what to do. I handed her the fabric paints and the shirt and she went to town. I am really impressed with her abilities. Yea, I'm the Mom, and probably easily impressed, but she's so confident and happy when she's creating. She just started and knew exactly what she wanted to do. I wish I had her confidence in the things I do. I hope she is always so confident. I want 3 strong-willed, confident, smart girls who turn into strong-willed, strong, confident, smart women. (Yea, I know the teenage years are gonna SUCK.)

The top shirt is T's (1 year) and N painted purple cows with blue spots. She also added a Moon and stars at the top of the painting. (I need to take a picture of the finished product.) The bottom one is for K (28 months) and has a beach scene and then under the ocean.

Love to snuggle

This is K. This was taken on Labor Day in 2004. She is still this snuggly at 28 months. I call her my bulldozer snuggler. When she sleeps next to me (which is part of most nights) she pushes against me so hard to "power snuggle." (That's what I call it.) In this photo, I love her snuggliness, and her little sausage wrist too.

Happy Love Thursday!

Who knows

I'm feeling a little better today. Not a lot, but a little. If Mary Poppins decides to go "home" then I can't do anything about it. If she decides to stay, there are things we can do. I don't think she'll leave "tomorrow" so I will have plenty of warning. I don't think she'll leave until her youngest daughter gets settled. Then, when her youngest gets settled there will be the possibility of grandchildren! Here! But Mary Poppins may surprise us all and decide to go home. As I said, "WHO KNOWS!"

I just don't want to have to find another nanny. We love Mary Poppins. I was hoping Mary Poppins would stay with us at least until T started kindergarten. And while that's only 4 years away, if I had to work and be in charge of the kids for 4 years ... I wouldn't have time to blog. Or stay sane. Or ANYTHING.

Anyway... Got a lot of stuff to do today for work. Today, a wonderful set of my colleagues and I (M, P, Z, & C) are getting together to focus on a project I love. To figure out what we can do to re-invigorate it. We have some ideas. This team, it is wonderful.

Oh... And I have to work on that chapter. I have a love-hate relationship with writing. I love it when I have a lot of time, but then I don't actually produce when I have time. When I'm crunched, I write fast and with another author and we usually say some interesting stuff, but I get so stressed that my eyebrow twitches. It's a trade-off. It's ALWAYS a trade-off.

One last thing... Yesterday my left shoulder started killing me. I took ibuprofen and it didn't help. I went ahead to my aerobics class because I was so stressed that I needed to work out--despite the pain. I went to change into my workout clothes and I took off my bra to put on the sports bra and INSTANTLY the pain started subsiding. My shoulder pain had been caused by the choice of bra yesterday. I wore a non-nursing bra. Big mistake. Won't do that again. Yikes! Look forward to a long post about weaning (or lack thereof) coming soon to a blog near you!

Where's that instruction manual?

For life... I can't seem to find mine and I'm not sure what to do.

My left eyebrow is twitching. I'm stressed.

I still have a lot to do on the paper. Somehow it will get done. That's the least of my worries right now.

Our nanny (aka Mary Poppins) is depressed and thinking about moving home. (DM... YEA... HELP!) She has lost 2 of her families this year and she has a brand new grandbaby at "home." She feels like it is too hard to live here and she is struggling.

I had wanted to pay her WHATEVER IT TOOK to have her just work for us for the next few months so that we could get settled into our new house, but I don't think she wants to work for just one family. I'm going to suggest she start looking to find someone else if that will help her feel better and hope that we can work out a good schedule. I don't know if this will help. I don't want to lose her, but of course, she needs to do what is best for her.

I just want to get settled on a few things in my life. I don't think it's possible. Must. go. cry. from. the. stress. now.

One-day holiday

Three-day weekend, one-day holiday... Bah humbug. Everyone else worked where I worked, and I played with 3 little girls and battled fleas. Now I am a day behind. It sucks. Why can't we ever all agree to actually take the day off? Why does everyone I work with have to be a workaholic?

Change of scenery

I'm working on this paper for work... It's making my head hurt. There are about 10,000 things I want to make happen right now and 10,000 thoughts I'm trying to think, and oh it's painful. But that's how it is when you're learning. Learning is an uncomfortable thing. But if you don't go through the pain, you don't get the reward.

Okay... and speaking of learning... in 20 minutes I get to go back home and take N (4.5) to her first day of Pre-K. She's excited. She doesn't like change and she's going in a new room (For D... room 10 with different teachers than L had). We've been talking about it and she hopes they are nice. So cute. Her "best friend" (R) is in her class so that's good. I am relieved about that.

18 more minutes for me to think about work... Gotta go. More soon.

Quick Tooth Update

I know that 3 of T's 1 year molars are through. The 4th one I think has popped out too, but she wouldn't let me totally stick my finger in there to check. Wowza. My baby is big.

Breakfast o' Champions

Whipped cream and goldfish. Yup, that's what the little girls ate this morning for breakfast. They ate some other things at home before we went out and got the whipped cream at the coffee shop, however I still feel like giving them that was a pinnacle of my mothering career.

I mentioned before that I'm not a big breakfast person. This morning we were in a hurry to get out of the house because we were going over to see a wood floor at a house. Hence the whipped cream. It's hard to motivate 3 little ones who usually sleep in until 9 and get them out of the door by 10:30.

So we got up and got going to see a floor. It's a floor that was put in by the guy we are going to have put in the wood floor at our house. We wanted to see the floor because it is not that common of a wood (at least where we live). We (MWH and I) both really liked it.

It was nice seeing it in that house because the floor was in the kitchen and the owners had gone with cherry cabinets. That is the same combination we're planning on doing. It was nice to see what the combination looked like. It's a very warm look. They also had stainless steel appliances in the kitchen (which we'll have too). The woman showed me the paint color (a blue) and it all looked good. Her cabinets were a granite looking blue/grey/dark combo. I've been thinking of something in the dark grey or blue family, so it might all work. bdx (T typed that. Her first blog effort!)


What else... We played at a park with the girls for a while and then we went to all of our favorite restaurant. Really good (organic too) Mexican food. It's described as "Innovative and inspired cuisine," but casual and fast. It is all that. Really really good and really really fast. We told the girls we were going there and K (27 months) said, "I'm thirsty for guacamole."

Tonight T held up a box that was for a toy she got as a birthday present and said "present." My husband heard her. I was shocked. She said it twice. I didn't know she knew the word. That girl is smart! Did I tell you her sign for nursing? She pounds on my chest. I'm sometimes clueless.

Today, N (4.5) and I went out and went shopping for some new clothes for her for preschool. I think this was my favorite purchase. I thought they were so cute that I bought a pair for each little girl. K may not wear them because she's such a dress girl. I showed them to her after her nap and she was still grumpy and said she didn't like them. I'll show them to her again when she's in a better mood. If she still doesn't like them, I'll take them back. That's why stores give you receipts.



What else... Oh... Our indoor cat (C) has fleas. HE NEVER GOES OUTSIDE? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? A friend of mine who has dogs (who live outdoors) said, "Ewww! Our dogs have never had fleas." I almost said, "Hahaha. If you have an outdoor dog, he's had fleas." I simply said, "Oh."

She then said, "Yes, they've had the worms, but they've never had fleas."

I bit my tongue to keep from saying, the only way to get those worms is to EAT a FLEA. Your dogs have had fleas.

This friend of mine is not that scientifically minded so I'm not sure she could have followed that logic, nor would she have believed me. She's a really nice woman and I like her a lot. I sound kind of annoyed, but she made me feel like I was dirty because our cat has fleas.

Many people with pets have this problem. It's unusual for an indoor cat, but not unheard of....Anyway, our poor cat... He's gotten a flea bath and flea treatment this weekend and we've vacuumed (all weekend) and used some herbal flea stuff on our carpet (in one room). He's not a happy kitty.

We think we caught them before it got too out of control, but not before N (4.5) got a lot of flea bites. That's how we figured it out. She is covered in bites. It's weird. I gave her Benadryl early last week because I thought she had allergic reaction. Well, she was having an allergic reaction TO THE FLEAS. This weekend, I was looking at her leg because she was still having the reaction, and I found a flea. The fleas seem to LOVE her. I guess it's because she is sweet.

She was sleeping on a mattress on the floor of her room for a while so maybe that's why she got it so bad. Anyway, despite the fleas, it was a good weekend. For some fun reading about getting rid fleas check out Berkeley Parents Network.

Last, but not least, my co-worker wants me to take her draft of the paper and put my part in it and make it all pretty by tomorrow morning. I'm trying not to laugh too hard. I'll work on it tomorrow. I might work on it a little tonight, but I'm not going to stay up all night or anything.

Brief

We just returned home from the party. It's a party that one Mommy friend has hosted for the last 3 years. I met this woman, the Mommy, through the Mom's group I was in when N (4.5) was a baby. Our Mom's group was a really great group of women. We were all in our 30's or 40's when we had our kids. I was one of the younger ones. Where I live, it's not unusual for women to be older and having kids. I find that even though in most parts of the country I would be old, here, I am on the younger side of average. Another common thing among our group is that we all were very into our careers. We all were and still are working. We try to do dinner (without the kiddos) about once a quarter. It's fun to catch up.

It's a lot of fun to get together with the kids and see the other little ones who were the first born children. Now we can also see the younger siblings of the kids. Almost everyone had at least one more, and some have had 2 more (me and another woman). One has had 3 more, but she had a set of twins in there. It was just so wild to see all the chaos and kid activity at the party. If you'd showed us a video 4 years ago (when our wee ones were about 6-9 months old) and told us this would be our lives in 4 short years NONE OF US WOULD HAVE BELIEVED IT.

Anyway, it was good and fun. Now we're home and one of the 3 little girls is napping (T -- 1!) and K (almost 28 months) and N (4.5) are watching a video. Both N and K suddenly became interested in princesses and we have much princess interest. We are watching a Dis*ney Princess DVD. I'd prefer to watch a more educational video, but it's not terrible. There are worse things than watching a video about princesses for an hour or so a day. Someday I'll write more about this, but not today.

Today, I have to go back to working on that paper. I'm at a point of needing to reorganize and pull some more ideas in to the paper, so I'm dreading it a bit. It won't be too bad, but I need 2 hours or so to sit and think and write. I should take advantage of the time I have right now, but I need my cup of tea first! Caffeine is my friend and helps me think. Oh Caffeine, how I love thee.

*****************

Caffeine Mottos

I am only as strong as the coffee I drink
Life without caffeine is not worth living
If it doesn't have caffeine in it, it's not worth drinking
Coffee is my friend

Holiday weekend

We often fall prey to the misconception that it's easier to stay home with little ones. By the end of a whole day home with the girls my husband and I are exhausted. Granted, it's harder to pack up all the stuff and head out for an overnight, but day trips make life easier actually. This weekend we are doing activities everyday!

Today was the Kid's Museum.
Tomorrow is a party with a bouncy house and lots of kids.
Monday we may just drive to a new cool park that we haven't been to yet.

The children's museum today was fun in the we-have-3-kids-under-5-and-we-have-to-be-on-high-alert-all-the-time way, but it was fun. We went with a friend and her little girl. We had a picnic outside. After we got home, Miss K (27 months) wouldn't take a nap. She's really getting close to giving up her nap. She seems too young to not be napping, but on days when she does nap she doesn't fall asleep until midnight... or later. She only needs 10-12 hours of sleep a day it seems. In my opinion, not enough, but she. just. won't. sleep. more.

She is still sleeping snuggled up next to me most nights. She is my snuggly girl.

Tonight Miss N (4.5) has been all about me and that's really unusual. It's nice, but unusual.

Sorry this is so boring... I'm even boring me tonight. I'm still sort of sucked in by my work paper. (I got some positive feedback on it, so yay me. I am glad I got positive feedback on it because yesterday, when I got home from work, I was really really really bummed about something. The day started off really nice, but then ended weird. Anyway... Maybe tomorrow I will be more fun.)

Writing

Today I have to make significant progress on a paper for work. I have things to share, but they'll have to wait. AAAARRRRRGGHHH.... But I want to share....

I guess I'll quickly share that last night we took the girls to dinner at our favorite sandwich place. Outside of it are the "mountains" (fountains). It was amazing... K (27 months) and N (4.5) were really really really good. N was helpful and didn't run off and K was hungry so she actually ate. Miss T (1!) is becoming the trouble-making toddler, but the third time around, it's not that bad. I know tricks and she is really mellow by comparison to N and K at that age.

We had lots of fun. I was just amazed by the difference less than a year makes. (We had lots of good dinners this summer though so it's not that amazing, but really it kind of is. The dinner last night, I took all 3 little girls in to the sandwich shop by myself and ordered before my husband got there. That could have NEVER happened a year ago. I would always wait for him to go in earlier this summer too... Is it getting easier or am I getting more confident?)

It's so sad that it's getting dark earlier now and we're not going to be able to go to dinner and play in the fountains much longer this year.

WHERE DID THE SUMMER GO??? WHY IS TIME GOING SO QUICKLY???