Whew!

We're home! Yippee! Hurray! Happy Dance! We're all happy to be home!

N (4) kept saying, "I'm so happy we're home. I'm so happy we're home." My sentiments exactly. She was very happy to see our kitty, C______. I've never been very into traveling and have always thought of a vacation as something that makes me appreciate my own home and life more. This trip succeeded in doing just that.

It's very good to be home. The trip... More soon after I get a chance to turn my notes into beautiful prose, or at least prose. I actually need to process a little too. A lot happened. Here's the fluffy stuff.


Logistically it was a good trip. I'm so glad we put K (2) and T (9.5 months) in single umbrella strollers for the time in the airport rather than taking the double stroller. The single umbrella strollers are so much lighter, easier to push, and the girls can't touch each other (and wake each other up if one is asleep or even bug one another).


The trip this year was much easier than the one last year when N was 3, K was 1, and I was 6 months pregnant. Pretty much the thing that kept me smiling this trip was the fact that I was NOT pregnant. (I kept going last year because that's what I do. And I try not to complain. However, after the fact, and here on my blog, I will complain. That's one of the myriad of reasons for this blog.)

(Did I tell you how I had Braxton Hicks contractions so frequently last year that we ended up in the local L & D one night because I was so freaked? I was about 29 weeks pregnant last year at this time on this trip. Everything was fine and T didn't show up until about 41 weeks, but all the BH contractions were scary. I felt foolish after having gone to the hospital, but better safe than sorry, right? The trip this year was physically tiring, but not like last year.)

Emotionally, the trip was a roller coaster. I have been away from home a long time. Big family event. Lots of people. All a little odd. I'll talk more about this later. This is the stuff I really need to process.

Some funny/light fluffy things about the three little girls...

N (4) wanted to be the prettiest princess. She wouldn't wear her little yoga pants that matched her sisters because she only wanted to wear princess dresses and be the prettiest of all.

This is the girl who was into crawler back-hoes, dump trucks and trains last year. Way into them. She's very funny. She wouldn't even wear this cute little black skirt I got her because, "black isn't pretty."

(Did I tell you that when N was two, I made up a song for her about dump trucks? I did. It's a good one.)


******

K (2) also began expressing opinions on what clothes she would wear on this trip. If all 3 little girls are going to have clothing opinions we're so in for it.


******

Because I'm a nursing Mom (and eating for 3; me, K and T), I eat a lot of food. (A LOT! And yet I still manage to lose .5 lbs a week.) (Really, you'd be shocked by how much I eat.)

So because of my need for a lot of food, we went to get ice cream at this place I love, and we went almost every night. One of the few things from my childhood that I will still eat. One of my total guilty pleasures. (BAD! But yet, the scale still went down!) (Love this tandem nursing thing!)

(Oh, K (2) did not nurse about 2 days on the trip. I don't know if it is the start of weaning or just because she was so discombobulated. I'll keep you posted on that. If your non-lactating husband ever talks you out of bringing your pump on a trip, don't listen to him! That's all I'm saying. I had a very sore spot for a day and really really really really missed my pump.)

The girls (N & K) learned the ice cream routine pretty quickly. They started calling it the "ice cream patch" and demanding to go as soon as it was dark. I don't know why they called it that.

The "ice cream patch" had a drive-thru and it was significantly easier to go through the drive-thru than to get everyone out of the car. N (4) hasn't really seen a drive-thru before. We have them where we live, but we never go to them. She was fascinated by the drive-thru and wanted to "talk to the sign" too.

******

T (9.5 months) has totally mastered waving and almost has figured out clapping. She crawled all over the place and ate lots of paper off my parents' floor. I'm sure she also ate some flower petals. T was a really excellent baby girl the entire trip. She had a hard time napping and sleeping but really, I can't complain at all. She waved, smiled, and made friends with everyone.

******

My Mom's house is the least childproofed house. Lots of breakable things right at baby height. I went through it and picked up many things, but it was still an accident waiting to happen. At one point I went to the bathroom with K (2) and K saw that my Mom had left straight pins (from her corsage) on the counter. K was, of course, fascinated by them and picked them up and nearly gouged her eyes out.

I'm tired. It's good to be home.

Book Review

I have to start by saying that I have watched KJ read to her oldest son Sam. I saw her read the same book over and over for about 2 hours. She is amazing. If there is any person on this planet who could write this book, it would be her.

On to the review of Reading with Babies, Toddlers and Twos.

I really liked the book. I'm going to tell you all the stuff I liked and there was a lot, so forgive me. I liked the tone a lot. As a first time Mom you have so many questions and doubts. Am I doing this right? Will I screw my kid up? Will they make it into college? Will I have a smart kid? I think having this book when my first baby was born would have helped me feel better. I knew that you should talk and read as much as possible to your baby. I remember having my firstborn, N (now 4) lay on my chest as I read to her. KJ describes this and reassures us that we don't have to be reading "baby books" at this stage. She also gives lots of ideas for how to make reading more fun--even when you have a baby who doesn't like to sit still.

I really liked all the lists of books that were included. I really liked the quotes from other Moms too. I love the developmental charts. The book is easy to pick up, skim and learn something. I haven't read it cover to cover, but I've flipped through it about 10 or more times now. Each time I do, I flip to something interesting and read a few pages.

At one point, in an email or on her blog (can't find where now), KJ mentioned that chapter 8 was about television. I pretty much turned straight to that chapter to see what she said. I've spent a lot of time reading about the effects of television on children and babies and she summed it up perfectly in her book. No one has yet done the research on the effects of television on very young children (0-3), but there are a lot of programs made for this age group.

I'm of the belief that good quality educational television (think PBS, Dora, Blue's) is pretty much the same as a book especially when you sit with your child and co-view and discuss it afterwards. Someday someone will do the research on this and I believe that's what they'll find. (Feel free to quote me when they do.) If someone tells you that television causes ADHD if you let very young children watch it don't listen to them because they don't know what they are talking about. (If it does turn out that watching television at a young age causes ADHD, I'll eat my hat.) The guidelines and suggestions for television watching in her book are really good. The best I've seen thus far.

I know lots of people who are having babies and I will add this book to the list of books I give as shower presents.

(Some of the other ones I give include the Dr. Sears book, the healthy sleep book, and Sandra Boynton books... We LOVE her.)

KJ, thank you (and Susan too) for a great book!

Adorable

The last time I took Miss T (9 months) to the coffee shop with me she was being completely adorable... Five people raved about her beauty and demeanor. (Okay, maybe raved is a little strong, but this is my blog. What's a little hyperbole among friends?)

She was being extremely adorable if I do say so. She smiled, hid her face in my shoulder, made her cute little "ooh" face (note to self, gotta get a picture of that...or maybe I have one already... Must check). After she'd hide her face in my shoulder she'd look back at the person and flash them the cutest smile. Little flirt!

On the plane today she was also adorable. So many people commented (I lost count) on how cute and smiley of a baby she is. She loved this woman sitting a row behind us on the first plane. On the second plane she was exhausted, but she'd still flash a big grin if someone caught her eye.

We made it to the state where I spent the first 20.9 years of my life. The plane rides (oh how I wish there was a direct flight here, but alas, it requires a change of planes to get here) were as good as possible with 3 little girls. If you were in an airport today, and saw a family with 3 cute little girls all dressed in pink, that was us.

K (2) and N (4) also were extremely sweet and good. N (4) was so excited to see Grandma. Did I tell you she talked on the phone last night to her for about 30 minutes? Did I tell you she drew a picture of us on a plane this morning and that she carried it the whole trip to Grandma? How sweet is that?

Okay there is more, but my husband and I have to share the ethernet connection (we meant to bring our wireless hub, but we forgot).

I just have to share that I LOVE the license tag on the rental car. WTF is part of it. (It's just a regular tag, but it is cracking me up! Maybe I'm just tired.)

I lied...

This is another post about it....

I talked to another person and she encouraged me and my colleague working on the project to talk to the other authority figure where I work who might be more interested. He tends to be more helpful and good with new projects. He's also more familiar with the space we're trying to get in so it makes sense. The big authority person we talked with yesterday has a reputation for not being very helpful or good at starting new projects.

I do feel it's a good idea. I wouldn't have already put in about 100 hours of my own time on it if I didn't. I feel it's something that really makes sense for me and my colleague to do.

Trip Status Update
T minus 18 hours until we leave for the airport. So far I have done:
3 loads of laundry
packed most of the kids' stuff
started on packing my stuff
made 3 lists
Worked at my "for pay" job for 3 hours.

NOT BAD!

Still need to:
Finish packing for me
Finish 2 more loads of laundry
Run errand tonight
Make dinner
Edit video (suck some more video in from the camera and buy some songs for music background)
Do 2 more hours of work

YIKES!

Just one more thing...

And then I'll move on...

I think I wasn't expecting such a roadblock yesterday because there is another authority figure where I work and he's more interested in the area of work my colleague and I are wanting to start. Had we spoken to him we would have gotten more encouragement, but like I said yesterday I don't think we would have gotten the approval.

If I'd gone into the meeting more prepared to be knocked down I would have been more ready for it, but I wasn't expecting it. I should have been expecting it. Looking back, I'm not suprised by the reaction of the big authority person. When expectations and reality aren't aligned, that's when you get bummed...


Okay... Hopefully I can let this go for a while and do the 7,003 other things I need to do before we leave town in 28 hours... (Watch the house please.) (Don't worry though, I'll be online pretty much the whole time I'm gone. Unless it is more insane than I'm expecting, which it probably will be.) (I always forget how much I like hanging with my brothers and how quickly time can pass when you are sitting around reminiscing.)

Silver linings...

I don't really feel these are silver linings, but I have to try and cheer myself...

Because we don't have official support for our project, my life will be a little calmer this summer. If we'd gotten support yesterday I would be really crazed through 7/15. I now have a little more time.

I was so stressed/upset yesterday that I didn't eat very much. I didn't mean to neglect eating, but it's hard to eat when you are crying. (Try it sometime... everything tastes like wood.) Then to relieve stress I went to an extra half of a dance class ('cause my husband felt so sorry for me when I called him sobbing like a baby).

The combination of not eating and extra exercise showed up on the scale as 3 pounds less than yesterday morning. I know it's not a real 3 pound loss, but it sure was fun to see myself only 4 pounds away from my pre-N (4) pregnancy weight (instead of 7).

Oppressed

I am feeling very oppressed. Crushed by the authority... I love where I work for many reasons. I worked hard to get the job I have and I enjoy what I do. No, I love what I do. I have worked for 9 years doing it.

I love it so much that I have worked far more than the 40 hours a week that I was paid to work when I was full-time. In the first 5 years (before kids), I worked at least 20 extra hours a week. Every week. Since kids, I only work 1/2 time, but I probably work an extra 3-5 hours a week more than I'm paid.

Today, a colleague and I went to talk to someone about a new idea we have been working on for the last few months on our own time that we've been hoping to turn into a project. The person we discussed it with doesn't know how to make it fit where we work. It could fit. I know it could.

My colleague and I haven't ever led projects by ourselves in this organization. I have a lot of experience doing a lot of things, but I haven't done what is needed to take this new idea to the level of a project. That's why we went to this person (aka big authority person). So we could get some help from our organization. The big authority person we went to said something that angered me so much that I burst into tears.

The big authority person said that we (us and our organization) didn't have the qualifications to do the project we want to do. The big authority person also compared us to someone in the organization who lacks a lot of substance, but has been very successful. (This made me very mad.)

This successful person is successful because she doesn't take no for an answer and because she complains a lot. She is also successful because she works all the time on her own agenda. She is married but doesn't have children so she has a lot more time than my colleague and me. (I actually have grown to like this successful person and I now enjoy working with her. Last year I was ready to strangle her, but that's another story.)

I'm annoyed that I cried, but most of it was just frustration that I have put so much in to this organization (see first two paragraphs) to make the projects I work on successful and now I feel as if there isn't a mechanism to help me do what I want to do. (Part of the crying was that I was just exhausted.)

If my colleague's and my idea wasn't so new and novel, it would be easier to promote, but it is in a very different area than we typical work in, but it is related. Another one of the authority figures in our organization might have been more encouraging, though in reality, we probably still wouldn't have the official blessing.

The other frustrating thing today was that big authority person hadn't actually read our 5 pages that we'd written about our idea. She'd skimmed it. Thank you for making our work (that we've done on our OWN time) feel important and valuable. (That was sarcasm in case you couldn't tell.)

The other thing was that thebig authority person didn't give any credit to the qualifications that my colleague and I do have. We both have degrees in a very relevant area. (But people want to see the work you've done and not just the degrees you have.)

So what's next? Well, my colleague and I are going to keep working on our own time on this project and idea on our own time. We're going to "network, network, network" to make contacts with people who might be on our team and try to "think out of the box" to create new partnerships to make this project happen. It will be a lot of work on our own and then the place we work will get the glory of another new project.

The authority figures at our organization have to be strategic and they do a good job of that, but I wish there was more of a mechanism for risk taking and new ideas to get supported. Especially to help people grow. But there isn't.

I also really wished I hadn't cried like a big baby.

I feel confident that we will make something happen if we want to do it. In a way, this process that makes it so difficult to do new things weeds out projects that people only have slight interests in...

You have to really be committed to an idea to make it happen. If it's a project related to work we're already doing, you can see how it's not as necessary to make people jump through as many hoops... But if it's a new project that is unrelated to our core business (at a strategic level) you can see why it's important to make sure that the people involved are actually willing to put their money where their mouth is... However, it doesn't seem fair to not have any way to support* people financially for people who want to develop new ideas.

(*There's a teeny tiny bit of support, but not a lot. When all is said and done, I can get paid about 1 hour a week on average to think and work on this new idea. That's not much at all and if I only work 1 hour per week on this project, NOTHING WILL EVER HAPPEN.)

K & T Updates (File under growth statistics)

K & T had their 2 year and 9 month (respectively) appointments last week. We did them together and it was a little crazy, but really that's my life. Crazy. If it weren't crazy, I'd be bored. We were in the office for about an hour and with the doctor for about 40 minutes. I really like our pediatrician. She's pregnant with her second right now. Yay!

Anyway, K is 35.25 inches tall and weighs 30 pounds, 4 ounces. She has grown 3 inches taller in the last six months. (That seems like a lot to me.) She has gained about 2 pounds I believe. It seemed to me like she was getting a lot longer and a bit thinner. She was always around 50-70th percentile in height and now she's closer to 90th percentile.

To contrast K to N at 2, N was 35.5 - 36 inches tall (90th + percentile) and 29 pounds (75th percentile). K is just a teeny bit shorter and a teeny bit heavier than N was. She's always been shorter, softer, and rounder than N. Who knows though, she might end up very similar to N. I can't believe she's so tall now.

T is my little peanut. She's 27.5 inches long and 18 pounds 4 ounces (around 50th percentile for both height and weight). She didn't gain very much in length at all since six months. At six months she was 26.75 inches long. The nurse actually measured her twice because she was surprised she hadn't grown any longer. I was a little surprised too because she seems longer.

Comparison data... At 9 months (October, 2002) N was a lot bigger. She weighed 19 pounds 15 and 1/2 ounces and was 29 inches long. At 9 months (February, 2005) K weighed 20 pounds 2 ounces and was 28.25 inches long.

We'll see if T stays a little peanut or if she starts growing again. She is a cutie regardless of her height.

K got a polio shot and a Pneumococcal vaccine. T got a DTaP and Pneumococcal. K's arm got very very red. It's better now. They both slept more the day of and after their appointment and then went back to normal. I'm pretty freaky about vaccinations, but I think I have reason.

Peek-a-boo?

Tonight as I was snuggling with Miss T (9 months), she started putting her blanket over my face. I played Peek-a-boo with her. We weren't playing Peek-a-boo first... She just started doing it. I am not sure if she was playing it or if she was just putting the blanket on my face... Whatever it was, it was cute. We'll see if she does it again tomorrow.

Get a clue Mom!

Tonight I was playing with T (9 months). I'm always playing and waving and trying to get her to clap. Since she's baby girl #3 she doesn't get a lot of one-on-one time. I think she is waving, sort of. I've thought this for a while, but I'm never completely sure. I also think she is trying to figure out clapping, but she hasn't quite done it. Miss K had already said her first word (labeled an object correctly) (ducks!) before she was 9 months old. Miss T has not yet done that.

Anyway, I was playing with her and working on communication... She however was grabbing me, pulling at my shirt, and in general, ignoring my efforts to show her waves and claps. She finally pulled out my shirt at the neck and stuck her head down it. Duh. She was communicating. She was trying to tell me she was hungry and wanting to nurse. I was stuck in my own world. It's a good thing she's good at communicating!

I want these!

How cool are these, or should I say HOT?

No rest...

Warning, kind of a snoozer post.

I have so much to do before we go out of town for our big family event that I've been planning/arranging with my brothers. It's a big thing. I'll tell you more about it after it happens. I'm editing a video that compiles about 60 years of footage for this family event. My Mother's Day present was a 250 gig hard drive so I could do this. Yes, I'm a geek. I asked for the hard drive. No, I won't get much time for sleep if I want to finish this project.

I'm going through lots of video right now. I've pulled in 23 gig so far. (That's about 2 hours of footage. I've gone through about 6 hours of tape thus far.) It's fun, I'm learning a lot about the family history, and I'm glad I get a chance to do this. My brother also has a lot of footage ... I'll have to edit and compile some of his too. I'm sure it'll turn out to be an okay video, but it's the kind of thing you could spend forever working on. I only get one more week to think about it. Actually one more week is when we debut the video and we travel on Wednesday and so I don't actually have that much time.

(And I work on Monday and Tuesday... and I have to go to a brunch tomorrow... and I have to pack for four of us (my husband is in charge of his own stuff!) .... Sleep... Yea, right. I just have to hope the girls sleep well so I can get some work done!)

Anyway... My brothers and I are hosting this event. I have one etiquette story.... We set a cut-off for the RSVP. We hadn't heard from some cousins. The cut-off date went by and 2 weeks after it, we hear from the cousins that they are planning to come. It's a little rude to wait so late to RSVP, but it gets better. So they RSVP'd 2 weeks late and they replied that they would be bringing 20 people. GEEZ... 20 people. That puts our count from 150 to 170... That's just not right.

There's really nothing I can do or say to my cousins that wouldn't cause some hurt feelings. So even though we are really annoyed, and I think rightly so, we are just going to bite our tongues, though we want to say something, and welcome them at the party.

Quotes of the Day...

My boss is a male...

Me to my boss:

Next time you have that mail problem let me know and I'll come look.

(I was talking Email...! However, I did kind of yell this down the hallway as I walked out of his office though so I'm not sure how it sounded... Probably not good.)



Me to N (4):

Don't pick your nose and eat it.

My husband to me:

Most Mom's don't get to add the bonus line of "and eat it." You are lucky.

Wowza...

Remember when I said there was a lot going on at work? Well, today was a fun/overwhelming/amazing day. I have written only a little bit about my work because that's not what I want to do here. Today's post will give you a little more insight. I love my job. I went to school forever and I still wasn't quite sure what I was going to do when I was done until 1 year before I graduated.

All of my interests started to align and fall into place and I got the coolest internship! The next year I got my "real" job at a different place that may be even cooler than my internship was. The first 5 years I worked where I work I couldn't believe that they were paying me to do what I was doing because I felt like I was so lucky. I worked my little fingers to the bone though and am happy to say that my work during those 5 years has left a legacy.

Anyway... Today was great. Some new stuff might be happening. Well, new stuff always is where I work, but new stuff that will help me do some more amazing things with the project I love the most. In addition, it would be working with some new people that seem fabulous. One of them was this older man... He kind of reminded me of my father, but an intellectual version of my dad. My Dad is a great guy, and a smart guy, but he's not an "intellectual." Nothing against my Dad, that's just the facts...

The guy I spoke with for a long time today was very inspiring. He was hilarious... His nickname is "the Elephant." (Yes he's a big guy.) He also LOVES his family. He just raved about his wife. They've been married for 44 years. He loves his kids and grandkids. In addition to being a powerful thinker he's also a down-to-earth practical man. I really liked talking with him. If we get a project going with him it will be challenging, hard work, but lots of fun, and really meaningful. If we don't get the project going now/soon, there will be more opportunities in the future I'm guessing. I don't think today was "just another day at the office."

On another note, I don't know what happened with that whole .01 deal, but I'm guessing we were able to prevail over the contracts person.... henceforth known as "Miss I'm not inclined to lower the price..." (In her defense I think she thought they were asking for a reduction of a whole dollar rather than one penny... hmmmm, now that I think about it, that still isn't much of a defense....)

On yet another note, I was only in 4 meetings in 6 hours as opposed to yesterday when I was in 4 meetings in 3 hours.

Almost not a zombie

When I only get 6-ish hours of sleep for a few days in a row I become a zombie. I think my need for a lot of sleep is related to this. I also get more and more stupid. Did I tell you how I left my purse somewhere on Monday? It's kind of an embarrassing story and I will share* it, but I don't have time to type it up now.

Anyway, I am feeling almost not-like-a-zombie because T slept in until 8:45! Yippee! I didn't get to bed until about 12:40 am because I had so many work things to finish, so I needed the sleep. Yay. I should mostly be able to function like a human being today!


*Unless I forget when life gets crazy!

Unbelievable...

So.... we're working with this group... They asked us to lower our consulting agreement by .01 (one penny) so that they could pass it through their system more easily. Our contracts person said NO. Give me a fricking break. We are asking her to re-consider her answer. It will make life SO MUCH EASIER for EVERYONE. ONE LOUSY PENNY....

Okay... deep breath... Done venting....

Still shaking my head though....

CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

Is it me, or is that crazy? Our contracts person needs to be a little more chill I think.

Another favorite food...

Another favorite food of T's (almost 9 months) is paper. Paper bits found on the floor are even better. Miss N (4) is happy to help with keeping us fully supplied in bits of paper on the floor.*


She is an artist and is constantly cutting and creating!

T and Food

T (9 months) really is starting to like food. Her favorite, anything found on the floor. Guess I need to clean my kitchen floor a bit more often huh?

Switzerland

Remember, my friend is moving there. She wants me to come visit.

Work warning... kind of loud. Turn your speakers down or shut the door.

http://www.myswitzerland.com/html/movies/wm/ch_tourism_en.mov

I think I'll go.


(This is a real ad peoples... Is that hilarious or what???)

What kind of coffee am I?

Hmmm... I would have guessed I'm a Mocha (non fat, no-whip) or just a plain iced coffee (very strong) with a lot of non-fat milk.

You Are a Soy Latte

At your best, you are: free spirited, down to earth, and relaxed At your worst, you are: dogmatic and picky You drink coffee when: you need a pick me up, and green tea isn't cutting it Your caffeine addiction level: medium

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

whiny...

Miss T (almost 9 months) is in the "I wake up too early so I need a nap about 1 hour after I wake up" stage. It's a fun stage. N and K both went through it. I need to look up when N went through it, but I know K was going through it when she was about 9-12 ish months.

The "need a nap an hour after waking" is just so odd. You say to them, "Why don't you sleep a little later, and then I could sleep a little later too." They look at you blankly.

Miss K (2!) is whiny because she won't go to bed at night without me. I NEED my 2 hours at night from 9-11 to catch up on work/blogosphere stuff. Last night she laid on my bed with me from 10-midnight while I did work. She finally gave in to sleep at midnight. This makes for a tired whiny K in the morning. I decided to skip gymnastics with her. She's tired and just wanting me to hold her and falling when I don't hold her. I just don't think gymastics would be very fun today. In addition, I have a very full day of meetings.

One of my nannies always reminds me to simplify... I am simplifying today by skipping gymnastics. It will help a lot.

Next up (or sometime soon), the incredible self potty training two year old!

Funniest Pants

Tonight when I was at dance, I saw the funniest pants... On the seat of them it said, "Dance Bum!" I was laughing. Maybe I should have titled this "Punniest Pants." Ooooohhhh and then I could have gotten an alliteration... Oh well, maybe next time.

In work news, there is much, but I still have to do some processing before I can write it... Stuff is happening. Lots... Nothing that can be categorized as good or bad yet, but definitely stuff!

In other news, T (almost 9 months) is growing. I have just come to the realization that she is much closer to a one-year old than a new born baby. YIKES. Where did the time go? I still think of her as a little baby, but that little baby of mine stands and is starting to take steps... she will hold on to our couch and move along it to reach something she wants. She's not really cruising (while holding on to furniture) but she's very close.... VERY close. And then I pulled out warm weather pjs and clothes for her... She fits in clothes that are 12 months and 12-18 month sized... HOW DID THAT HAPPEN, I ASK!


Okay... There is more, but for now, this is all I can manage.

Shoes!

1. My husband got Miss K (2) dressed today. He brought two pairs of shoes with him so K could choose which ones she wanted to wear. She likes to pick. He brought her white ones and her new "Hello Kitty" ones. She looked at them, thought about them, considered the fashion statement she'd be making depending on which pair she chose and then looked at him and said, "Blue ones." Ahh, the old 3rd option trick. My poor husband. He just doesn't understand all the intricacies of considering what shoes to wear with what outfit. Miss K at 2 already innately knows.



2. We went to the mall and were looking in a shoe store. N (4), T (almost 9 months) and I were inside and K and Daddy were outside looking in the window. He asked what they were seeing. She said, "Shoe shoes." The he asked if she knew anyone who needed shoes. She said, "Me!" He asked, "K___ needs more shoes?" She replied, "Oh yea!"

LOVE THAT GIRL!

Some light-hearted observations on this day to honor Mothers.

I do not think it's coincidence that mmmm, milk, and mamamama all start with the letter M. Last night, T (almost 9 months) reminded me of this. I was getting ready to nurse her and she was lunging at me saying MMMMMMMMMMM. Then she started babbling Mamamamamamamamam.

I don't know if she's said any real words yet... (Meaning I don't know if she has really truly assigned a label to an object yet... Miss K did it first at almost 9 months of age. She saw ducks and LOVED them. She said Duck or quack whenever she saw them.) (Oh, the other night, T was babbling and I swear she said F**K clear as day. I was so proud. One for the baby books!) She mostly waves and she will give kisses.

**********

When I found out I was pregnant with T, I knew that my chances of a full-night of sleep had drastically decreased. I was so right. Miss K (now 2), has decided that she must sleep with me. All night.

We tried to get her into her own crib, but no. We tried from 9-11 pm. Finally we gave up and she ran around and waited for me to go to bed. She slept with us all night. She is still in my bed asleep. I guess we'll be sleeping with Miss K for a while. Path of least resistance. We did just get Miss T sleeping in her own space so we are a little bummed that we didn't get to be alone very long.

They are definitely tag teaming us, and they are winning. Actually at 2:30 am, T wanted to come into bed so we had both T and K in bed with us. That's not tag team, I don't even know what to call it. T only slept next to me for a couple of hours. Finally around 4:30 or 5 she decided she wanted her own space.

**********

Yesterday, T ate! Approximately 8 blueberries! Lots of cheerios! Some yogurt! She was excited about the food and not just eating it to be polite. Over the last week I have noticed that she is starting to be more interested in food. I am happy and sad. My last baby is beginning to wean. It'll most likely be a very long weaning process, but it's starting. I want her to nurse until 2 if possible. When she was six months old, I started trying to give her baby food. She shuddered.

Miss N (4), ate about 20 jars of baby food and then turned to little bits of table food. Miss K ate about 3 jars of baby food and then turned to little bits of table food. Miss T ate about 3 bites of baby food and then turned to table food about 3 months after I first tried to give her baby food. I think she's finally decided that maybe food isn't so bad.

Happy Mother's Day

I am a Mom. To three. Little Girls.

Oh my!

I can't believe how cute they are, even when they wake me up very early. Miss T and I have been up since 6:42 am. Yea, it's Mother's Day, and I could have poked my husband and had him get up, but I am the Mom so I got up. He gets grumpy when he doesn't get enough sleep, and I just get stupid so I usually get up and get stupid until I just can't do it any more. (I know I've said the grumpy/stupid thing before, but that's the way it is.)

Last night I was digging through photos looking for one of me as a baby so I could make a photo picture of all my little girls and me for my Mom. I had to find the hard copy so I could scan it. (They didn't have digital cameras when I was a kid. You probably could have guessed that, but just so you know for sure, they didn't.)

Anyway, as I was digging, I found pictures from what I think of as "my former life." I dated a guy for 6-7 years before I met my husband. He was so. not. Mr. Right.

I knew it at the time that he was Mr. RightNow, not Mr. Right. I used to wonder how we'd break up. If that's not the kiss-of-death for a relationship, I don't know what is.

Why did I date him? Because at the time, he gave me confidence to do what I needed to be doing in my early 20s. I was in a doctoral program and I needed his arrogance to keep me going. I'm sure I could have found strength from somewhere else if I hadn't have been so wimpy, about breaking up with him, but it was easier to be with him than to figure out how to do graduate school on my own (path or least resistance--a theme with me). I cried a lot, but I knew it was situational.

At two years into the nearly seven years I was with him, I wanted it to work with him. By year 4 or 5, I pretended I wanted it to work, and I couldn't imagine not being with him, but deep down, I knew it would never work. By year 6, I was going through the motions and was gathering my strength. He eventually was the one to break up with me, but it was okay. It saved me from having to do it. I cried my eyes out for 2 weeks and then realized suddenly that I was much happier not having to deal with him.

When I found the pictures last night, I looked at them and felt, nothing. It was odd. I am so happy with where I am now and who I am now. I was pretty miserable during those almost seven years, but I wouldn't be who I am today without that time with him. I have to thank him for helping me to get where I am. I honestly wouldn't change a thing. Not even having to get up at 6:42 am this morning.

I love my husband and my little girls.

Lots of Friends

This last week we talked a lot about Miss K's party. She was so excited about it. One night I asked her who was going to come and she named everyone (M, K, L, K, N, and T) and then she said, "Lots of friends. Yay!" She's my little social butterfly.

They party was nice and low-key, just as I had hoped. The kids played outside with the sand table, the car and the tricycle. They also did the bounce house and played with the kitchen inside. We only had one melt down when N and one of the other party guests bonked heads in the bounce house (nothing serious thankfully!).

K got lots of girly-girl stuff. A pair of shoes, and lots of "Hello Kitty" things. (Plate, bowl, purse, stuffed animal, coloring book, stickers, bath toy), a tea set (plastic which is excellent so she can play with it all she wants!), and one more that isn't opened yet (she fell asleep). She loved the whole party.

She gave her best friend a big hug and then a big kiss right on the lips. Pretty cute. She just loves this little girl (M). M takes gymnastics with her. She gets so excited as we walk into gymnastics and says, "M____, M_____) when she sees her.

The ice cream cake was good and easy! I highly recommend making one. I made a cookie crust with 1/2 a box of "chocolate wafers," 1 package (just one cellophane) chocolate graham crackers, ~3 tablespoons butter and ~2-3 tablespoons brown sugar. I put it all in the food processor and then pressed it in a 9x13 pan. I baked it for about 10 minutes at 300 and then refrigerated.

I got up this morning and put "cookies and cream" ice cream as the first layer, then cut up brownies (into teeny little pieces) and then put a layer of chocolate with chocolate chips in it. On top I put whipped cream and decorated it with pink icing that said "Happy Birthday" and K's name on the side. I ran out of room and the writing was awful, but the cake tasted delicious!

The weather was perfect today so we ate outside (much less mess to clean up). Really, it was a great party for a 2 year old! I wanted it to be mellow. It was. The best part was, there was enough entertainment for the kids so that the adults could actually talk.

Friday Fun

One of my colleagues has a little girl a month younger than K (2!). She and I are beginning a new project together. Actually, we've been beginning it since December, but we're getting close to officially kicking it off with the teeniest amount of funding (only to be spent in writing a full-fledged proposal).

Every week we think that we're getting ready to send off for a miniscule amount of funding (see here and here), but every week we find more things we have to do.

My friend and are meeting Fridays to work for 2-3 hours at a time. We have a lot of fun working together and also discussing our kiddos, but we will be excited if we can get this project off the ground in an official way so that we can get paid for this work. Right now, we have to do this on our own time. We can't go on like this forever. We are feeling like we can do it despite all the barriers that we keep finding.

We have lists. We're using a Wiki to collaborate and make our lists... When we get done with things we can cross them off. Both of us LOVE crossing things off our list! We have a big meeting on Monday. Off in the big city. Should be fun. Hopefully this group we meet with will agree to be part of our project.

After my colleague and I met I got to go grocery shopping for all the stuff for tomorrow's festivities. Ice Cream cake here we come! (I just need to get enough energy to make it. When I planned the party I didn't think K was going to be sleeping so little. That whole jumping out of the crib thing is really a pain!)

It's official

Miss K is two. She's the cutest 2 year old I know. I can't believe she's already two. Someday I should post about her birth. After the birth of each of my babies I wrote up their birth stories. Miss K's birth was the most amazing experience. I was on a high for months following it.

Anyway, now she's been hanging out with me for two years. Two nights ago, it became all about me. ALL. Mommy. All. The. Time. She can climb out of her crib now (since Saturday) and she did many times on Wednesday night. She finally fell asleep when I snuggled with her on my bed. We put her in her crib and she slept the rest of the night there. Last night she climbed out of her crib about 10 times until I finally gave in and snuggled with her on my bed. I didn't want to make this a habit, but I think she likes really likes being in our bed snuggling with me.

This morning at 5:30 am she climbed out of her crib and wondered over to my side of the bed. "Mommy??" I pulled her next to me and she went back to sleep. I didn't. I knew I had to get up at 6:30 for a phone call for work. The start of another day.

Party preparations

K's party is this weekend!

I need to find a recipe for an ice cream cake as I've decided that is what I want to make. I'm not a huge fan of regular cake... but ice cream... That is my weakness. Since it's getting close to summer I figure it will be good. If you have any recipes, let me know.

I'm starting to web search on recipes, but I'm leaning towards just doing a cookie crust (chocolate wafers, butter and brown sugar) and then ice cream (cookies and cream flavor), then more crushed cookies and then more ice cream and whipped cream drizzled with chocolate sauce. I figure you can't go wrong with that combination.

I'm going to make a chicken salad or a pasta salad for lunch for the adults and most likely pizza for the kiddos (and adults if they want it). Supposedly Trader Joe's has a great pizza dough that comes in a ball. I'm going to get some and try making one tonight to see if we like it. (I wrote most of this last night (tuesday) before dinner... Since I've now made the pizza I can add that I wasn't that impressed with the dough from Trader Joes...and more importantly, neither was K.) Can't decide what to do for lunch for the kiddos... Maybe I'll get a cornmeal crust and just make cornmeal crust pizzas (like I usually make for K and she loves!).

Thought I'm cooking and making things, I'm trying to keep the party low-key. We'll play at our house for a while and then head to the park that is just down the street. We'll have 5 kids (age range 2-5) plus our 3 girls for the party. I think there will end up being about 12 adults too (including my husband and me).

I did a lot of cleaning last weekend so that the house would be in pretty good shape for the party without too much effort this week. I hate to clean my house just for a party of kids... The place will be trashed afterwards and I'll have to clean again. I'm hoping to keep it mostly outside... But I'll still have about 15 extra people tromping through the house. (Ugh, dirt.)

Hello Kitty is the theme for the party. K loves girly-girl things. I got her some Hello Kitty shoes. (I'm sure she'll be "excited" (her word. Remember, she LOVES shoes!) I have Hello Kitty plates and napkins ... Oh, I need to get more party favors... I got Hello Kitty toothbrushes for the girls and flashing toothbrushes for the boys. I should get coloring books maybe... or maybe just some candy (so that there will be a real reason for the toothbrushes).

What else... After reading the reviews on Amazon, I decided not to get the Jumpolene. Peoople basically liked it, but it didn't hold up well. I can't imagine anything more depressing than giving a toy that is lots of fun to your kid and then having it not work in a month. People said they would buy it again, but that seems silly to me.

Since we have 3 little girls with lots of energy though, we really liked the idea of a bouncy toy. We found this and even though it's twice the price, it got great reviews and seems to be very durable. If it lasts for a long time it will so worth the money.

I'm so excited for K's birthday so that they can start bouncing in it!

So. Tired.

I am absolutely exhausted today. I think it's because I only got one cup of coffee. I drank tea all afternoon, but it just doesn't have the same caffeine kick.

There is so much going on in my life it's kind of ridiculous right now. I did get things accomplished today, but not enough. I have meetings all day tomorrow at work and I'm not looking forward to it. When you have meetings you can't actually get any real work done.

My little girls were all extremely exhausted tonight too. I was a little worried that K might have a screaming-to-the-point-of-throwing-up episode, but fortunately since she is is so excited for her birthday you can distract her from screaming by talking about her birthday.

When you ask her how old she will be she holds up her two index fingers and says 2! Sometimes she says, "I'll be tunes soon." I've been trying to get prepared for her party on Saturday, but I didn't have any time today. I have a post started about what I'm planning but I'm too tired to finish it. Sorry I'm so lame... Must. go. sleep.

Teeth Brushing

Because I am going for the "Best Navel Gazing Blog Ever" award*, I have to record this.

Miss N (4) has always been okay with letting us brush her teeth. She still lets her father or I do it for her which is good since we do a much better job than she does. She'll take a turn herself, but doesn't feel the need to do it all by herself.

Miss K (almost 2) has always been difficult with regards to teeth brushing. She never liked it as a wee one, and as soon as she could she grabbed the toothbrush from us and tried to do it herself. I can sometimes get in there and do a good job on her teeth. I've gotten better at it the last few months, or she's getting more cooperative (or both).

However, Miss T (8.5 months) LOVES getting her teeth brushed. (Caps and bold means real true love.) It cracks me up everytime how much she LOVES it!



*Not really.

If I were in charge of lawn mowing...

I'd so get this.

Something about Yellow....

Both N and K love their yellow blankies.

N prefers her small yellow silky. It's about 9 x 9 inches. She has 4 of them. When she was about 2.5 she needed ALL of her silkies every night when she went to bed. In addition to her yellow ones she also had 2 light green ones, a dark green one and a white one. Now we're back down to one yellow at a time. She's always said that the yellow ones are the BEST.

For Christmas, when N was almost 3, I got her a HUGE silky blanket. When I say huge I mean the size of a regular baby blanket. She liked it, but she was still more into the little ones.

K had a big (regular baby size) pink silky blanket. She never really liked the smaller handkerchief sized ones. When she first learned to walk she'd walk while holding that big blanket. It was pretty funny because it was bigger than she was. However, she is so coordinated that she rarely tripped on it. She loved it. She would snuggle all the time with it. It soon became clear though that K was coveting N's big yellow blanket instead of the pink one that she had. Perhaps one of the sweetest things I've seen N do is give K that big yellow blanket.

K was delighted when N gave her that yellow blanket.
Now K will often walk through the house saying... "Where are you Yellow? ... Oh, there you are."

The cutest thing is that the yellow blankets offer such comfort to my girls. The second N or K feel their blankets their thumb goes in their mouth and the blanket gets rubbed on their face. So sweet. They love their yellows!

When it became clear that Yellow was K's favorite blanket, I decided I should buy a spare one or three. You know, just in case something happened to Yellow. I went to look for an emergency back-up yellow and there were not any to be found. I looked everywhere. Thank goodness our nanny found some. We got two more. Now I can wash Yellow without K objecting. K never goes anywhere without Yellow!

I have 4 pink silky blankets just like the yellow ones. I'm hoping Miss T (8.5 months) likes pink! She sleeps with the pink one currently. I'm hopeful that it will be her color. Every now and then I see her eyeing K's Yellow. There must be something about yellow....

Purple Suitcases (Edited)

I am now the proud owner of a 4-piece purple suitcase set. Really, who doesn't need purple suitcases? I went shopping in a very tired state. I had no impulse control. I bought a lot of stuff. In my defense, I didn't actually buy that much stuff out of the ordinary, besides the purple suitcases. I actually did need suitcases though. However, shopping when tired, should not be allowed.

(When I got home, a friend had stopped by and she LOVED my purple suitcases. I'll take a picture and share soon. And yes, part of the reason I got them was so that they would be easy to spot in the airport. I have a HUGE blue one that is much easier to spot than any black one. N (4) loved the suitcases too. She said she'd pull them around. Gotta love that!)

K ended an era

Yesterday, K (almost 2) woke up from her nap. She called to us. I was in the midst of a cleaning frenzy and my husband was doing something with N (4) and T (8.5 months) so we left her in her crib for a few minutes. All of a sudden, K appeared. She had climbed out of her crib. It didn't surprise me, in fact, the fact that she's been contained while in her crib up until now is what surprised me. She is a climber.

This morning she got out of her crib on her own again.

A couple of months ago we decided to buy another crib for T because we didn't to give up having K contained in her crib. Now, we can only hope that at least the crib will slow her down a bit (as opposed to the ease of getting in and out of a bed). We'll see how long it is until K is pole-vaulting out of her crib.

(Remember, K is the girl who started doing summersaults off of my furniture, with perfect form, when she was 17 months.)

Documentation

I have a lot I want to write, but right now, I want to be one with my pillow. However, T (8.5 months) doesn't want me to be asleep. I got up so that her father could sleep a bit more. He'll have to be the brains behind the operation today. T has a little cold and is just not sleeping well.

Yesterday I finally figured that she has a cold or something... She's coughing some, her nose is running, and the saddest thing is she's kind of moaning all night long while sleeping. I gave her baby tylenol last night. This morning she woke up at 5:45 to nurse and I figured she'd sleep until 7:40 like she did yesterday. Nope. She wanted to get up at 6:30.

I don't do 6:30.

Did I ever tell you about my trick for when my kids wake up too early? Put the playpen in front of the tv filled with toys and turn on a B*aby E*instein. I dozed for about an hour. I'm still exhausted, but at least it's not 6:30 any more. It's still way too [insert colorful adjective] early.

Yesterday afternoon I cleaned my kitchen floor... I won't tell you the last time this occurred, because I won't humiliate myself like that, but it's been a while. T is now crawling all over it. She's happy as a clam exploring in there. Usually I stop her because I don't want her crawling on the dirt, but today, it is clean so she can crawl. It gleams! It shines!

*******

Yesterday morning we went to a picnic at N's (4) preschool. They had bouncy houses. It was a fun time. We went with my friend who is moving out of the country and her two kids. (Her daughter goes to school there too.) I haven't written about this friend much. She is a big part of my life, but I feel odd writing about someone who is not me, my husband, or my kids.

She's a great person. I met her in a completely different context of my life, a long time ago. Heck, we were in a completely different location than where we live now. We ended up in the same place, our husbands worked at the same company for a while, we take a jazzercise class together, and then we had kids around the same time so we have much in common and now many years in common.

When she got pregnant with her first, I was pregnant too. We were due a week apart. I had a miscarriage and she had her little girl. I didn't actually speak to her very much the last 4 months of her first pregnancy. It was too hard. I didn't speak to her very much after the baby was born until I was pregnant. I sent a card and gift, but I couldn't call. After N was born we patched up our friendship. It took a while. Nothing was ever said explicitly, but she knew what happened. Fortunately for me, she understood. (That was the hardest time for me, and I'm so thankful that I have children. Even if they get me up at 6:30.)

I'm not going to write much more about her, because she is not me, my husband or my kids, but suffice it to say, I will miss her. A lot. I haven't even really begun to process how much I will miss her. We do plan to go abroad and see them. That statement should tell you a lot. I really don't like to travel.

Tonight, we are going to go to their house for the first BBQ of the season. Or is it pool party... It started as a BBQ but morphed into a pool party and no BBQ.

I will miss her.

Sleep Tally

Monday night all night in her crib.

Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday night... Up twice. Just long enough to make me go get her, nurse her and then put her back in her crib... But then she got up at 8-ish... I'm exhausted. Going to bed now. (Midnight is my usual bedtime. Can't make it though.)

Can I tell you a joke?

A mouse ran in the house. Then he ate all the food. The he got a tummy-ache.

That's N's latest joke. She's 4. She hasn't quite mastered the whole joke telling thing.

Robots

I love my robot Alfred. I'm not sure how I'd feel about having a robot who looks like this. She looks too human. It's just kind of weird to me.

The group that created her, errr, it is actually studying human robot interactions.

A short celebration

Today my colleague and I worked and sent off that document. We were feeling good about getting it done, but exactly 24 minutes after we sent it off we got initial feedback from one person and we now need to deal with it. AAAARGH. I wanted to feel good about things for longer than 24 minutes. Bleh. Now I have to dig in again.

Drama Queen

And the winner for best actress in a dramatic role is N_____ K________!

N (4) had her babysitters convinced that she was very sick last night. When I got home she was on the couch doubled up in a ball crying that her stomach hurt. I was worried for a few minutes, but within 3 minutes I suspected she wasn't actually sick. Ten minutes after they left she made a "miraculous" recovery and said that watching "Nemo" would make her feel all the way better. I told her she had to get ready for bed before she could watch "Nemo" and she bounced up the stairs.

Little faker... She was never sick! She just didn't want to take a bath.

Her father and I explained that she shouldn't do the faking illness thing again. We told her about the boy who cried wolf.... We hope she got it.

A Miss K post

Miss K (ALMOST 2!) is a little confused about being in the middle. She knows N (4) is her big sister. She'll say to T (8 months) "Hi Big Sister T__." I'm trying to explain to her how N is her big sister and T is her little sister, but so far, she's not buying it.

She's becoming the new queen of stalling when it's time to go to bed. The best is when she says, "Poopies, Potty. Now!" and runs toward the bathroom. She knows it's impossible for me to say no to that! She is successfully going to the bathroom on the potty at least once a day and sometimes twice now. We haven't even tried to get her to do this she is doing it all on her own. I still haven't dug out the training pants.

She can correctly identify, W, M, K and X with 100% accuracy. She almost says the alphabet with all the letters now (LMNO is a little confusing still) and can count to 20, but she leaves out 4 and 14 almost every time. Pretty funny.

She will run off to get something and say, "Right back Mommy, Right back!"

Wait up N__-N__ (her nickname for her big sister) is something I hear all the time.

She is beginning to sing songs and carry a tune. (She's been working on learning to sing for a while now, but you can hear the tune now!)

I can't believe she is almost 2. I can't believe two years ago I was WAY pregnant with what I thought was my last baby. This is what I wrote in my journal two years ago today...

"My ribs are being pushed open by a K____ ... I am officially very uncomfortable and ready to have her!"

I was trying very hard to not get anxious at the end with K. I did okay but that last week is always tough. I was much better about being cool when I was pregnant with T. I think I was scared to death of what life would be like with 3 on the outside! But this post is about my Miss K. She is such a sweetie!

Just a jumble

That's what my life is.

On the positive side of things, I am doing so many things that I am never ever ever ever bored.

On the negative side of things, I am doing so many things that I never ever ever ever get to catch my breath.

I am not sure what to write about today because my head is spinning. Here comes a lot of disjointed thoughts.

T (8 months) woke up twice last night. No happy dance today. We'll hope that tonight is better! (Always the optimist I am.)

I went to work today for 3 hours and never once made it into my own office to do the work I originally thought I could do today.

I went to a 12 pm meeting that got out at 1, but talked with folks about an idea for a new project until 1:30 at which point I was called in for a phone call from 1:30-2 that I'd forgotten about and I was scheduled to be in another meeting too... I went to the other meeting at 2 that I was supposed to have gotten to at 1:30 and tried to leave at 2:30 but was called back and stayed there until 3:15... I missed my other meeting that was supposed to go from 2:30-3 but we rescheduled for tomorrow at lunch. Walking out the door I was stopped by someone else who asked a question that I spent 3 minutes answering and GUESS WHAT??? I was 3 minutes late in picking up N (4) from preschool.

The preschool fines you $5 for being even seconds late. This irks me to no end. If I had just said to the woman, "I've got to go I'm late in picking up my daughter I would have been fine, errr not late and not fined." (Pun not intended it just slipped out of my fingers.)

Oh well.

I'm in a better mood today than yesterday. Yesterday I yelled at my Mom and then at my daughter N. They were both making me mad. It wouldn't have taken much though. My Mom wanted me to do ONE MORE THING. I sort of lost it. I'm already doing 300 things.

N (4) whined that she didn't want to take a bath. Fine we said, then straight to bed. She cried. She finally decided to take a bath. She got ready and walked over to the tub. K (23 months) was already in it and she had bubbles. N started refusing to get in because there were bubbles. I got really upset because this is the kid who begs for bubbles all the time. I yelled at her. She screamed. It wasn't pretty.

In retrospect, I over reacted on both accounts. My husband and I have never had a fight because he and I stay out of each other's way when things are tense. We've never had reason for being tense with each other. (Yea, probably a little weird huh? But he's really an amazing guy... Seriously, sometimes I wonder if I'm not living in some delusional fantasy world where I made him up because he's so much my perfect match. We've also sort of co-evolved into even more of a perfect match over the last 10 years.) My Mom and N don't know how to stay out of the way. They got my wrath yesterday.

To summarize... I have learned that I'm waaaaaaay toooooooo busy. That I'm too scattered. I'm stretched too thin. I'm stressed. I have no patience. I need to cut back, but I don't know where, nor do I really want to cut out anything. The exciting lunch time meeting will most likely lead me down yet another path for being even more busy.

Arrgh!

I have learned a lot, but I'm not sure I can or want to do anything about it... I'm not sure if I should cry HELP. Someone help me! Save me from myself! Or if I should just go with it.


One other thing that is really random... (As if the rest of this post was coherent...)

1. I saw a man today with a lot of facial hair and a BIG GREEN booger was hanging out of his nose in his moustache. EWWW! This is true I swear. I know this guy, but I didn't know what to say/do. I just kind of said "hi" and walked on... What would you have done???

Cheerier post

Last night T (8 months) slept ALL NIGHT IN HER CRIB!


Happy happy dance.


She cried once at 3-ish and I bolted out of bed. I started racing towards her room and then I heard her quiet down. I stopped and woke myself up enough to think for a second. I realized that maybe she'd go back to sleep without me doing anything. She did. I stood and listened at the monitor and she was snoozing away peacefully after that brief 10 second cry.

I need to remember not to go bolting for her the minute she starts to fuss. It's so hard to remember this when you're asleep and just want to stay asleep. Your sleepy instinct is to grab them and hold them. When I'm fully awake and cognizant, I honestly think at this age (8 months) she wants a little more of her own space. I just need to remember this at 3 am.

Having a moment....EDITED

I'm sitting in my office at work with the door shut because I can't stop the tears.

At this moment in time I am so completely overwhelmed. I'm going to write it all down to document it all, reflect and hopefully make a game plan. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, but I need to get it out of my head. If you have any helpful suggestions please feel free to play along at home.

O, TCIC, TTL, CL, K, SC, PD, PC, E

Those are my projects. All 9 of them. 2 have no funding. Two have very little funding. The two that have a significant amount of funding, I have NO interest in and I spend a great deal of time feeling guilty for not working on them more. I am working between 10 and 20 hours a week. Errr, I am getting paid for between 10 and 20 hours, but am working a great deal more because of the two projects that have no funding. Those are the two projects I love. The two that have very little funding I really like, and I do some extra on those, but not a ton. I am overwhelmed.

I am planning a HUGE family gathering that my Mom keeps calling me about. I am keeping track of about 7 things for that too.

I have 3 very little girls.

We're starting a remodel on our house.

We are having a birthday party for K soon.

I have a zillion loads of laundry.

I have to sort clothes for the little girls as we get into summer... (Put away the cold weather ones and bring out the warm weather ones and make sure that everyone has things that fit.)

I have to find clothes that fit me. (And I have no time or interest in shopping.)

A good friend of mine, probably my best female friend here, is leaving in August (to another country).

I hardly ever say no to things.... and I need to learn how to do it.

I look like I'm "doing it all" but at the moment I feel like I'm drowning.

Most of the time I'm okay with things but what just pushed me over the edge was my boss's reaction to me asking to move a meeting down by 1/2 hour. It turns out I didn't need to move it after all but GOOD GRIEF. He didn't have to be such a jerk.

He's just as overwhelmed as me, but I am leading the effort and a little sympathy/empathy would be nice. I sympathize and empathize with him all the time... Why can't I get a little back? Really he's a good guy. But right now he's overwhelmed too... Look at me, I'm sticking up for him...

Okay... The tears have stopped. I can now go talk to him like a human being.

Edited (2:17 pm) Everything is a little better.... I am still completely overwhelmed but I am not crying. I'm not feeling helpless. My boss and I talked. He is a good guy, but he is just as overwhelmed as I am. Perhaps a bit more overwhelmed than me. I do need to figure out what I need to do to reduce the above list, but not right now... right now I need to do some work. Wish me luck.

Need opinions

I'm thinking of getting this for K's birthday...

Anyone know if this is a good thing to get? My girls are HIGH energy and love to jump. It looks like fun to me and maybe we'll get some of those ball pit balls too... What do you think?

5 years ago...

Take a ride with me back in time...

It's May 1, 2001 .... It's a gorgeous spring day... A Tuesday...

I came home from work early and needed to go to the bathroom. I had a home pregnancy test (a free one) and decided to go ahead and use it. It was the FREE one after all.

MWH (my wonderful husband) wasn't home yet. He wouIdn't have wanted me to test without him*, but I didn’t think it would matter. I just figured there would only be one line. My period wasn’t due until Friday (3 more days)... I had already done a few tests, and they hadn't shown anything. I figured that I would just pee on the stick and then wait and do it again in the morning. It had already been so many months of nothing. Why would I possibly think that this time would be any different?

We were on clomid, but it hadn't worked the previous month. Anyway, I pee'd on the stick and almost immediately there was ever-so-faint of a second line. That elusive, most coveted, change-your-life second line. I was in shock. I couldn’t reach MWH on the phone. This was unusual, but of course predictable since I NEEDED to talk to him.

After calling my husband MANY times and getting his voice mail, I finally told KH (of Team H) because she was online in IM (or what we used like IM). She knew we were trying. She was thrilled. She was there for me when I had my miscarriage the summer before. (Since 5 years ago, She and I have been there for a lot of pregnancies and the good and the bad... ) It was fun to tell her the good news! I waited at home for HOURS it seemed. Finally, about 2 hours after I had taken the test, MWH called back! I drove over to his work to show him the test and ask him what he thought of the second line (it was so faint--I wanted to make sure there was one). When I showed him the test, he said, "I don’t see a line." Not funny! ** He did see a line—he was just being mean*** to his pregnant wife.


*He still gives me a hard time for having pee'd on the stick without him there. When we were trying to get pregnant with K, I had to promise to NEVER pee on a stick without him there.

**I still give him a hard time for this!

***He says he was trying to make a joke and lighten the mood / break the tension.