Having a moment....EDITED

I'm sitting in my office at work with the door shut because I can't stop the tears.

At this moment in time I am so completely overwhelmed. I'm going to write it all down to document it all, reflect and hopefully make a game plan. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, but I need to get it out of my head. If you have any helpful suggestions please feel free to play along at home.

O, TCIC, TTL, CL, K, SC, PD, PC, E

Those are my projects. All 9 of them. 2 have no funding. Two have very little funding. The two that have a significant amount of funding, I have NO interest in and I spend a great deal of time feeling guilty for not working on them more. I am working between 10 and 20 hours a week. Errr, I am getting paid for between 10 and 20 hours, but am working a great deal more because of the two projects that have no funding. Those are the two projects I love. The two that have very little funding I really like, and I do some extra on those, but not a ton. I am overwhelmed.

I am planning a HUGE family gathering that my Mom keeps calling me about. I am keeping track of about 7 things for that too.

I have 3 very little girls.

We're starting a remodel on our house.

We are having a birthday party for K soon.

I have a zillion loads of laundry.

I have to sort clothes for the little girls as we get into summer... (Put away the cold weather ones and bring out the warm weather ones and make sure that everyone has things that fit.)

I have to find clothes that fit me. (And I have no time or interest in shopping.)

A good friend of mine, probably my best female friend here, is leaving in August (to another country).

I hardly ever say no to things.... and I need to learn how to do it.

I look like I'm "doing it all" but at the moment I feel like I'm drowning.

Most of the time I'm okay with things but what just pushed me over the edge was my boss's reaction to me asking to move a meeting down by 1/2 hour. It turns out I didn't need to move it after all but GOOD GRIEF. He didn't have to be such a jerk.

He's just as overwhelmed as me, but I am leading the effort and a little sympathy/empathy would be nice. I sympathize and empathize with him all the time... Why can't I get a little back? Really he's a good guy. But right now he's overwhelmed too... Look at me, I'm sticking up for him...

Okay... The tears have stopped. I can now go talk to him like a human being.

Edited (2:17 pm) Everything is a little better.... I am still completely overwhelmed but I am not crying. I'm not feeling helpless. My boss and I talked. He is a good guy, but he is just as overwhelmed as I am. Perhaps a bit more overwhelmed than me. I do need to figure out what I need to do to reduce the above list, but not right now... right now I need to do some work. Wish me luck.