TIRED

[Start Boring Post]

I started several additional posts yesterday, but I was tired. I couldn't seem to think. Newkitty and all the commotion got me up too early. After you get used to a certain amount of sleep, less than that amount is very painful. Have you noticed that or is it just me being wimpy?

Anyway all of the additional posts yesterday discussed how tired I was and how I was getting my carpets cleaned. I didn't post them because I realized you all might NOT care about the amount of dirt in my carpet. Today, I have clean carpets and am still tired, but less tired than yesterday. However, I have this weird allergy-headache thing. I'm not surprised as it is spring 'round these parts and everything is bursting with pollen. (It's been spring for about a month over here and it's more and more pollen-bursty everyday.)

Spring break is over and I am looking forward to the end of the school year. I spoke to someone else who works with me and also teaches where I teach; she has many of the same issues that I do with her students. I don't think it's me or her, I think it's the students. I think it's really sad how little they want to learn. Some of them do want to learn. Learning is hard, but it's fun and it makes life more interesting....At least that's my perspective. I want to find a place to teach where I can be with people who want to learn. MWH jokes that I just want graduate students, and in a way, he's right.

I will end this semester working to create new methods for instructors to help students learn more and for instructors to use so they can grade less. It doesn't do me any good to write the same comment on pretty much everyone's paper and have them NOT read the comment. I am working to create a process so they can create the answers, and then grade their own papers (with my facilitation). I'll let you know how it goes. (In case you were wondering, I don't plan to teach in the fall. I'm tired.)

[END BORING POST]

If I had any doubts...

I don't want to add another baby to our family. Just adding a new kitty is going to be hard enough! (This entry might be confusing because, I'm TIRED and that's why I think 3 little girls and assorted animals is a perfect number.)

He's a great cat, I think.* He LOVES to be where the action is, and in our house, there is ALWAYS a lot of action. The girls are noisy and he doesn't mind, in fact, he gets all excited and runs toward the noise to see what is happening. Heh. He seems smart though as he runs AWAY when the girls start jumping--good self-preservation instinct! (I am fearful they will accidentally hurt him, and I am delighted that he knows he shouldn't be in the midst of the physical stuff.)

---

The tired part... Last night, when NewKitty wasn't exploring the house, he slept on K's (3.8) bed. K woke up at 6 am and came to get me to save her from NewKitty. Right before K went to bed, NewKitty started to play (and chew) on K's dolls. K LOVES her dolls and she got very anxious about this. At 6:15 am, she had pushed all the dolls she usually sleeps with (on her bed) under the cover in a pile because she was so worried NewKitty would eat them. (It was cute, funny and sad all at the same time.)

After K woke me up, I tried to get NewKitty to go sleep on N's (6) bed, but in the process, I woke up N. Between 6:30 and 7:30 N was awake and playing with NewKitty. I went down and told her to get in bed at 7. N did for a minute. I went back to bed and dozed a bit but at 7:30, I heard she was still up. I went back down and wasn't nice and yelled (in a quiet whispering way) at her. Even though the yelling was at least 30 decibels softer than usual, you could tell I wasn't happy. N looked scared. N did go back to sleep and hopefully she'll get enough sleep to keep her from being exhausted at school. NewKitty got scared too and is cowering under K's bed.

I feel a little bad for scaring two of the mammals in the house, but not too bad. They need to not wake people. Sleep is sacred!)

I decided to go ahead and get up at 7:30 to catch up on grading. I don't have that much to do, but it seems I never finish. I am TIRED now and have a headache. We'll hope extra coffee helps. Oh, and genius me... I arranged for the carpet cleaners to come today and I'm going to have to juggle NewKitty and our Cat C and keep them apart with 1/2 the house out of commission. WHAT was I thinking? (NewKitty and C haven't met. They both know there is another cat around, but they haven't asked to see each other.)

Pictures of N and NewKitty** are on the other blog.





*The only thing I am worried about is NewKitty's tendency to nip (gently and playfully) at your fingers. He did this a great deal to me as I was trying to get him to calm down and go to sleep. I have to cut him a little slack though, as I keep telling N (6) to do, since it was his first day in the house. He wanted to EXPLORE last night and I was trying to get him to calm down, and he didn't want to listen. He is VERY playful.


**His name is still TBD. N has finally decided on a different name. A name I like better than the original, and it does work for him. The funny thing is, it's the name of the other cat we were considering. She's not very good with coming up with new names. I would love to call NewKitty Simon, but it's not my decision. (He looks like a Simon to me!)

ol' what's his name...

Did I ever tell you about the time my father was making a speech at a rehearsal dinner for a wedding (my cousin's) and couldn't remember the groom's name? He called him, "Ol' What's his name..." My Dad was an 80-year-old guy then so everyone laughed. We still give my father a hard time about this.

Tonight, we met what's his name?* Here's another picture of him. Neither picture shows off how cute he really is. (I didn't take either picture. I took them from the web site of the organization who rescued him. He was abandoned in a building. Poor guy. He's fine, but really, how could any one abandon an animal? Leave them locked in an empty building with no food/water???? HOW?)

Anyway, the little kitty has a name, and it's not a bad name, but it's not a name we would have chosen. If you have a suggestion for a name, please leave it.** He'll be moving in on Sunday. N (6) LOVES him. He seems like he is a very good kitty--a total spaz--probably an absolutely purrrrrrect match for N. He has quite a few characteristics my Beloved kitty had, but he's different. He seems more goofy than Beloved kitty was, but that's okay and it definitely works for N.

Wowza. We're getting a new kitty. I still miss my boy.



*Yes, he's cross-eyed. He's a Black Siamese cat (or some parts Siamese....he's a mixed breed boy...rescued by a very wonderful woman).

**I ask because N is NOT good at coming up with names!

Random Much?

1. The kitty is coming over to our house in 2 hours. We will meet him. We will decide. I will let you know. The girls know this is happening and they are excited, but not as insane as I thought they'd be.

2. My floors are clean. (I still have to clean the kitchen and our bedroom Yes, I cleaned in honor of a kitty visiting. Yes, I am insane. He will shed. (My in-laws are coming next weekend, I will be cleaning a lot this coming week. Prepare to see my house sparkle!)

3. T (2.5) stayed dry all night! She will wear diapers at night until I feel very confident in her abilities. Today, she took herself to the bathroom all by herself. She felt "the urge" and no one asked and she took herself. She did this twice. Once she made it and once, she mostly made it. I can't complain too much. She made it to right in front of the toliet before she had the accident. Hard floors are easy to clean. She's doing great!

4. MWH had his birthday this week. It was fun. The girls LOVE birthdays.

5. N3nny is great. She bakes too much, but other than that, no complaints. You know you're spoiled with a nanny when you're only complaint is, "She bakes too much." Heh. She organizes a lot too, but I'm NOT complaining about that!!!!

6. One week into my working less thing and I'm good. I've been kind of a bum this week. I had to get ready for MWH's birthday and then take the day off to hang with him. It was fun to relax. (Did I just say that???) (Also, see #2 for why I will not be able to work very much this coming week. Hint, cleaning.)

7. I wonder what C (our cat) will think of another cat. C is 17. He likes to sleep a lot. Our plan, we'll see how it goes, will be to mostly keep the new cat downstairs with the girls (and the laundry room will be where his food and litter will be) and keep the upstairs mostly for C. Hopefully the new cat won't go in our room so C can keep his sanctuary, our bed. C has his litter box and food upstairs in the guest bathroom. C usually eats most of his food right when you give it to him. We don't want C to eat the new cat's food. C eats a special food since he's a "mature" kitty.

When C and Beloved kitty were together, Beloved kitty was the dominant kitty. Beloved kitty moved in to C's house, but Beloved kitty quickly "took over." Beloved kitty was like that. Beloved kitty was a fun-loving guy. He loved playing with C and C and he became best buds.

One of my favorite memories is when C and Beloved kitty met for the first time.... C was hissing and yowling at Beloved kitty. Beloved kitty was just checking out the place and he walked up to C as C was hissing and took his front paw and lightly batted C on the nose as if to say, "yea, whatever, just chill." C was a little taken aback. One of the last things Beloved kitty did on the morning he died was lick his brother and get his brother to lick him. So sweet.

Okay, and now I cry for Beloved kitty.

Before I forget....

3/21-23 Weekend Re-cap:

Friday night we went for Pizza! I was really wanting an easy dinner and the girls thought it would be fun. We went to the pizza place MWH and I went almost every Friday night when I was pregnant with N (6). Now, we probably get to have pizza there once every 3-6 months. Oh how things change. I guess, one thing is the same...MWH and I still get the same pizza we used to get back before kids.... The G______, but no onions or mushrooms, sub Canadian Bacon. The girls like getting a 1/2 cheese and 1/2 pepperoni. Yum! Pizza!

Since we have 3 little girls, MWH and I have learned to call in the order so the pizza is ready when we get there. We are learning we need to cross our fingers and hope there is a table available too! It's a small place with not a lot of tables. This time, fortunately there was a table. The girls were starving, and the only problem with the evening was that the pizza was too hot and we had to listen to them complain as they sat with the pizza on their plates, waiting for it to cool so they could eat it.

Saturday started well, but then went south when I got the letter for K's preschool (see this entry).

Sunday was Easter and we had much cuteness while hunting for eggs. T (2.5) ate a LOT of chocolate. K (3.8) ate quite a bit, but T actually ate more. Good friends came over for dinner and conversation. It was fun. I'm going to work really hard to do more impromptu friend-stuff this year! It's good. It's important.

Trying to figure out what IT is and the best way to go about it

Heh.

1. Since I've last blogged about "the unbloggable" thing, we have gotten word that it will happen, but it will be on a slower schedule. I'm now "holding my breath" and feeling like it probably will happen, but I still can't blog about it. I don't mean to tease, but I just can't blog about it. Changes will hopefully be fairly slow and fairly painless! That is the goal.

2. I've now started looking for a landscape designer for our backyard. Woo-hoo! MWH is delighted by my initiative here. It means I'm not bugging him to do it. If I'm working less, taking on a project like this will make sense. (Not doing the gardening or landscaping myself, mind you, but calling people to come do the work. Heh.) (I don't like to garden. I am not good at it. I don't like bugs. I don't like dirt. I like flowers, but not enough to plant them myself.)

3. I have a new crazy idea that actually makes a lot of sense. As soon as I understand things a bit more, I'll write about it. It's not "unbloggable" but it needs to be thought about first.

4. We are going to meet a kitten on Friday night. It's been three years since I lost beloved kitty. I am ready to take the plunge again. You'll hear all about it if it works. I can't believe how excited I am to meet this kitty. I miss Beloved kitty. I think about him every day still.

5. Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen for about a year... Maybe 2? I can't remember... It's been a while. Anyway, I greeted her with, "I can't believe how big your son is!" She greeted me with, "And you're so small!" I loved it! I am probably smaller than she's ever seen. She met me after N (6) was born, and I only lost all of the baby weight from N for about 2 seconds before I got pregnant with K (3.8). Between K and T I never lost the weight. It is good to be back to my body.... Even if it's in a slightly different shape. More soon about exercise plans.

Ahhh! Spring Break

When I was a student in college, I never realized my professors loved spring break as much as I did as a student. Now, I know my professors loved it too.

The new canary

Today, I learned something. I learned if my jaw clenches when I'm thinking about something, I should probably NOT continue to think about that thing. I am now working to get something off my plate because of my jaw. My jaw is like the canary in the coal-mine.

(Are you proud of me for deciding to not do something because of the stress that just thinking about it caused? I am. Baby steps!)

Trying...

I'm trying to put myself into a better place. It was working really well, but then on Saturday we got a letter from K's preschool. The school accepted T, yippee. K's been doing very well there, but because I turned our form for K's re-enrollment in after "priority enrollment" for returning students, they couldn't find a slot for her. I am furious, shocked and annoyed all in one. I'm sure we'll be able to get K a spot in there (OH PLEASE!!!!!), but it's a hassle. I was feeling very sorry for myself on Saturday and feeling like life is NEVER easy. Later, we'll discuss whether I have any right to feel this way or not. In the grand scheme of things, I realize this is NOT a big deal. I do. It's just annoying. It's annoying and I'm tired.

Anyway, I'm not going to talk about the preschool issue more right now because I don't want to get angry again. We haven't spoken to the school yet because, it's spring break. They seem to be closed. I called a couple of times today and keep getting rolled over to voice mail. I'll keep calling and see what I get this week. Maybe tomorrow, I'll drive by the school on my way to work.

More later. Think good thoughts that it will not be too difficult for the school to find a slot for K!

Little things

1. We are close to the era when all little girls can get in to the car and buckle their own carseats. This is a little thing, but it is HUGE!

2. K (3.75) picked a flower at the park today and is making a bed for it. Can you say, AWWWW?

3. K loves to give hugs to the little neighbor boy. It. is. so. sweet. She just beams when she sees him. He's 2 years younger than she is and she LOVES him.

4. T (2.5) requests Thomas Tunes all of the time when we are in my car. She only likes the main Thomas theme song though, so I have it on repeat play. I am a little tired of the song. When N (6) was little, we had to listen to "Old MacDonald" all of the time, so I view this as an improvement.

5. N (6) got a jump rope for her birthday. We just got the present unwrapped. (I have a rule, you can only open a present if you feel like writing a Thank you Note right afterwards--hence, slow present opening.) We're about ready to go try to learn how to jump rope in a minute.

6, MWH is replacing an ugly light fixture on one of our stairways. I am thrilled. I want to say, "Welcome to our house! Now with 5% less ugliness!"

How are you all this fine Saturday morning?

eyelashes

Did I ever tell you my eyelashes are going gray? (Here's a handy-dandy table for US versus UK spellings. Grey and gray always confuse me... I can never remember what we Americans prefer. I think it's because of greyhound.)

Anyway, my eyelashes are going gray. I get them tinted because my eyes are very dry and I can't wear mascara. Boy, I sound high maintenance, but really, I'm not THAT high maintenance. I am probably in the middle of the road on that one too.... just like organization. As another sidenote, I HIGHLY recommend Omega 3s and Flax Seed Oil if you have dry eyes, and Refresh Endura is great.

What was the point... I don't remember. Oh yea.... I changed my status at work. I am now a total part-timer! I think it's going to be good for me. I'm very tired. Very very very tired. I've been working a lot and working in many different directions for a while. I've told you about my teeth annoying me when I'm stressed, but lately, it's EVEN worse than usual. My jaw has been in a permanent clench for weeks now. I'm so tired of being tired and stressed. I'm hoping the status change will help me a lot. (Maybe it will even help me have less gray? Maybe it will slow down the graying process?)

I knew this status change was coming. It's been coming for a while now. I was amazed I held out as long as I did. It's okay. I will most likely go back to working more in a few years. In the mean time, I should enjoy the little girls and do only the projects that are rewarding and are worth taking time away from the little girls. I say this to convince myself it's okay to work less. I want to work less because I want to spend time with the girls... I don't want to work less because I LIKE what I do (usually) and I feel like I'm a loser who can't "do it all." If any of my friends told me they were going to work less to make their life more sane, I'd say, "Good for you! That's great!" So why can't I say the same thing to myself?

My wise friend Nino told me....

Treat yourself as you would one of your girls if they were hurt/confused/sad/etc. Do what comforts you. Speak kindly to yourself. Do good things for your body (go get a massage, take an extra long nap, get a mani/pedi or take in a nice restorative yoga class).

I'm convinced being unkind and impatient with myself has been the greatest cause of grief in most of the challenging situations in my life.

I'm trying. She explained how she often "bullied" herself. I do the same thing. I am not very nice to myself in my head. I should get over it.

Anyway... It's the start of the weekend. I'm hoping to get in some R&R. I'll report back.

Middle

I've decided I'm "in the middle" in terms of organization. I'm certainly NOT organized, but tonight, I went to a person's house (I'd never been there before and I don't know her well) and the level of clutter in her house was significantly higher than my level of clutter. Her house made me feel VERY organized. Organization is a continuum.

I was talking to a friend and she was telling me about a friend she has (still with me?) who always has a totally organized house. A place for everything and everything in it's place. Ahhhh... wouldn't that be nice? I'd like to get more organized, but right now, I guess I should be happy with not being less organized than I am.

K update

I don't think I've written about K's (3.75) eating lately. In general, she's getting a little better. She now eats vitamins (since end of January) and she'll also eat chicken nuggets (organic and baked at home).

My girls are mostly vegetarian--they just don't like meat. I never intended to keep them from meat, but I have listened to their likes and dislikes. None of them liked meat. N (6) eats more kinds (pepperoni, chicken, turkey, steak), but not very often--she probably eats meat about one time a week... or 1 time every other week. T (2.5) will occasionally eat a chicken nugget and sometimes bites of random other meats. K eats eggs, but has never liked meat. K ate turkey when she was about 9 months old, but gave that up shortly after she tried it.

Anyway, I don't really care if K eats chicken or not. I am thrilled because she is eating a new food now. (She doesn't eat very many foods*.) K likes to dip her chicken nuggets in mayonaise, so I joke that the nuggets are just another vehicle for ze mayo.




*I am so proud I figured out how to get her to eat peas. She gets peas twice a week (or so) now! Woo-hoo. Go me!

Play it again, Sam

Tomorrow, tomorrow, you're always.... I didn't hear what happened. I am hoping to hear soon. This is how it always is.

Again, I sigh

ANOTHER student plagiarized.

I'll tell you more about that later.

I am keeping the positive thing going though and realizing they are individuals and not all of them are evil. I have some very brilliant ones... some very bright... some who are working very hard. I'll tell you more (good) stories later.

I am trying not to think about all of the students I didn't catch plagiarizing last semester when I was so distraught after my friend died. I am sure there were many. I am sure I was too just "going through the motions" to notice. Sigh.

tomorrow...

Tomorrow, tomorrow, you're always a day away....

The news thing... We're supposed to learn more tomorrow, but right now, it's not looking very promising. I try not to get hopeful about things so I'm not let down... I'm feeling a tad bit let-down. Darn it! It wasn't even "my" thing*. I may not have any more news on this. Assume if I don't bring it up again, nothing's happening.

Sigh.




*And, ultimately, it may be for the best, but right now, it sucks.

hard work

I have one student who is working so hard, it's inspiring. In class, she will ask questions and make connections. You can see it happening! I've so wanted to videotape her in class. One day, I'd said something in our discusion a couple of times, and at one point, she raised her hand, said in her own words, "Oh, does this mean this?" She GOT IT! It was beautiful. She did really well on the last paper and the test. Hard work does pay.

(This is part of a series of posts about some of the individuals in my class.)

Too much (in a good way)

I have good problems. They drive me crazy, but they are mostly good. I can't and shouldn't complain, but I am a mere mortal, so I do.

I get overwhelmed because I have so many things in my life that I love and so many work interests I refuse to give up. The big underlying problem is I don't have enough time to do everything I want to do. Again... good problem...shouldn't complain. I have a wonderful husband, MWH, and he makes me laugh and keeps me sane. I have 3 little girls... I think it's pretty clear how I feel about them! My sweeties!*

I have much I love about my job(s). I have the BEST colleagues at one place. We do exciting, important, and interesting work (most of the time). At the other place, I have colleagues like this, but it's a good place because I get to try new things and learn. I make mistakes, but I do so because I honestly don't think the "old ways" work really well. (I'm pretty sure Dragon Lady uses the "old ways.") I don't think the "old ways" take into account all we know about how people learn, nor do they teach people about collaboration, nor do they teach people how to THINK for themselves, and finally, they don't teach people who to work with technology.

I am in the midst of trying to figure out new ways and it's difficult. When things don't work, I have to question whether I am "good enough" to contribute to a new solution. Because of my insecurities, I often decide I'm not good enough. Einstein is usually attributed to saying the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I just read that quote in an article about my field (not linking to the article here) and a lightbulb lit up in my head. This is why I try different things, crazy different, because I want to see different results. I know I'd see "okay" results the other way, the old way, but I wouldn't be paying attention to an emerging new field. Also, eventually, I expect to see a big improvement with new ways.

Anyway.... One of the themes around here is to help me figure out what to give up. I thought I'd figured it out, but now I have to re-think it all again. One of my "rules" is to give things 3-4 "tries" before giving up. I'm still in the painful 3rd try.

Okay....Onward. The theme of trying to figure it all out continues. This is life, right?






*Nevermind the yelling that just happened. It only lasted for about 2 seconds before I pulled it back together. K tossed my computer off the couch. I reacted and yelled, "K____! WHAT DID YOU JUST DO????" Then she cried and I hugged her and asked her calmly what she did and we discussed a better solution. I apologized for yelling. Hardly counts, right?

different people!

A friend sent me an email and she said, "A thought: A couple of your blog posts recently read as though your students share a single mind. I think that you might feel more positively towards them if you remembered their differences." She is a brilliant person with wonderful advice. I was kind of lumping them last weekend. It was wrong of me.

When I found plagiarism in their papers (yea, only 2 for sure), I freaked. I became paranoid and decided all of my students didn't care about learning and they hated me. It was a bad place. I'm known for caring too much and being too passionate. It is true! And because I care so much, I often get hurt. I often over react. I need to work on this. It is a weakness.

Anyway, I am grading their midterms. They didn't cheat on them. Some of them did exceedingly well! Some of them flunked in BIG HORRIBLE ways. (And what do you know, the students that plagiarized did WORSE on the midterm.) Some of them gave me some new insights into both the way I teach and new ways to help them better understand the content. Some of them LIKE what we're doing. They are all individuals. I know this. Last weekend, was just a bad weekend and I apologize for my behavior. It is getting better. I am feeling better. About 5 of my students wrote with such insight on their tests that I nearly cried with joy. One of them told me I was teaching in a progressive way.

I know you can't please all of the people all of the time, but I felt like no one liked anything I was doing. I don't feel that way now. It will be much easier to continue to do what I'm doing and continue to work really hard at it.

It's definite

We have no news.

I'm sitting in my office with the door closed because I can't stop my eyes from welling up with tears. I'm stressed. Far too stressed. We need to know something soon. I have a salad sitting by me and I can't eat it. A lovely salad with tomato, artichoke hearts, spinach, broccoli, a little turkey and olives.

I haven't heard about whether we got news today or not.

I am having a hard time blogging because I'm kind of tired of hearing myself whine. I've been whining a lot it seems. I know I don't have anything real to whine about, but yet, I keep whining. I'm annoying even me. If you know me, I'll still whine in person (aren't you lucky) but you are my friend so you'll have something to share too! I heart my friends!

What else... Oh yea... The positive thing is I am not an emotional eater. Or rather, maybe I am, but my response, when I am upset is to NOT eat. (That's definitely an emotional response.) I used to eat uncontrollably when I was upset when I was younger, but now I don't. Today, I weight about what I weighed in 6/2000 (when I first got pregnant but had a miscarriage). The scale is 1(X-1)4.

I'm adjusting my goal wieght down from 1(X-1)2 down a little....I think the new goal is 1(X-2)9. That's about what I weighed when MWH and I got married. A year ago, I didn't know if it was possible to make the weight I was when we got married a goal, but now, I think it is.

I'm a different shape than I was before kids, but I can't complain. Overall, I think my hips are smaller than before children and my stomach is a bit bigger. (I'm still working on it.) My arms are more muscular than they've ever been, but of course, I would still like to tone them a bit more. Much of the rest of me is, I'm not sure how to describe it, but I think my face is bonier... Parts of me lost a layer of (good) fat. Like my cheeks. I don't seem to have any fat there. It might be good to have a little. Anyway, it's all very interesting to observe. (Yea, I'm a scientist. Even in my own skin, about my own skin, I try to be a scientist.)


There you go. [END SELF-INDULGENT POST]

One insight...

My class.... I realize how much change I've tried to introduce in my class, to my students. Change is hard. It's painful. I need to see progress for what I'm doing. I think there has been some. I hope. Today, I got a lot of insight as to how my students are reading the feedback I write on their papers. They don't understand anything I say. It's as if I've written in a language they can't read.

Right now, I'm feeling the loss of my dear friend and colleague DK, because she was someone who did talk with me and help me.

DK was my comrade when it came to doing these kinds of things. I realize the absolute importance of doing these kinds of things in a community or at least with another person. I am feeling so alone. No one else is in the trenches with me with whom I can really talk, discuss, and learn. I need the brain-power of another to augment mine. I need the clarity-of-mind that comes from someone who is invested in the problem, but slightly removed who can help me think logically through the issues and not be overwhelmed by the emotional weight.

Being alone while trying to make change is everything my research and work over the last 10 years told me, but damn, it's painful. The papers said it was painful, but I didn't get just HOW painful.

Back?

I've been not blogging much because I have too much on my mind. Things are changing. I have a feeling most of the change, eventually, will be good. Unfortunately, none of the "change" is official yet. I can't talk about it. It doesn't consume me, but when I sit down to blog, I can't. I can't even call / email many of my friends because I can't talk about it. It's not my change. As soon as I can, I will share. I hope it will be in a week or so. I don't mean to be like this, but I have to be.

A funny for you in the interim.... T (2.5) likes to dress herself. Heck, she likes to do everything herself. She often puts on dresses and gets them on backwards.... Since trying to help her just makes her scream, she often wears her dress backwards all day. Pick your battles I say! One consequence of wearing her dresses backwards... Can you guess??? She now has food stains on the back of her dresses. Heh!

Okay... I'm sure there's more, but I'm tired. Still dealing with plagiarism stuff in my class.

Re-assessing

I'm feeling much better today. The "new, less stressed me" is back in the saddle. By coincidence at the park, I met a woman who is doing amazing things. It made me realize I don't have to teach at a University or work where I work to do great things. Supposedly, we find out more news about the unbloggable issue on Wednesday.

I don't want to have to deal with this.

I have a student... She is plagiarising. Literally copying and pasting...30-50% of each assignment. (We have a document checker.) I just realized though that it much worse. One document was actually about 99% copied. The technology only caught 30-some percent.

There is nothing I want to write right now. I can't. I realize that this isn't that bad of a problem in the grand scheme of things, and it's not even really my problem, but it is causing me to question everything about what I do, why I do it, and if I should continue to do it. (If you know me, you'll understand this. If you don't know me, you might think I'm over exagerating, but I'm not. This is HUGE.)

this is odd...

On Tuesday, I had an odd day. I got up early, did an hour of work, and accomplished all I set out to accomplish in one hour. Then the girls woke, and after a couple more hours I drove to work. While I was at work, I worked for about 2.5 hours straight, the time went by quickly, and again, I got everything done I wanted to do. It was an odd day. I felt sucked in to this world that wasn't quite in-phase with our world. I never get everything done I need to do in the time I allocate to the task. I did it twice in one day on Tuesday.

Today, I feel completely overwhelmed. I hope to be back to myself tomorrow.

Yippeee!!!!!!! Big celebration...

I'm done with that task!. I had hoped to be done by Monday, but since I should have had it done on 1/1/08, what is another two days in the grand scheme of things?

I'm thrilled I can cross it off my list. I imagine I'll have to do some more analysis like that in the future, but I'm going to try to avoid it. (The thing is, the last 2 sets I did, they were fun! easy! interesting! Thus increasing the probability I will say yes to more of this task in the future and then I'll be annoyed and regret it when the next data set isn't as fun! and easy!)

Okay... now off to finish up getting ready for my class.

Little spaz-girls

For a while this evening, the three little girls were running around with their shirts off, but pulled over their heads. I couldn't stop them. I gave up trying. Sometimes you just have to pick your battles. Now 3 hours later, they are still spazzing. They took a little break while they ate dinner, but mostly, for three hours, it's been non-stop craziness. They've pulled each other around on blankets, dog-piled on top of each other, jumped on the couch, and knocked each other down, and been very silly. MWH and I have concluded they keep their energy up by sucking our energy from us. It would explain why I am so exhausted tonight. Their motion and noise level is cute, but a bit overwhelming! I can only imagine what I'd think of them if they weren't my children. Oh my!

In other news, there is no news on the unbloggable issue. I was hoping we'd hear something today. It's not even directly something for me, but I still want to know! It will have some impact on the work I do if it happens, but it's not my "thing." Maybe news will come tomorrow.

I have had some really nice interactions with my students this semester. I made some changes to the class structure and I think that's why some of it's going better. We're almost half-way through the semester.... We still have the hardest part to get through. I'll keep you posted. Must go grade some papers.

Not acceptable!

Tonight, T (2.5) told K (3.75) her behavior was unacceptable. Heh.

I had just scolded K for not eating her apples... She was taking bites of them and spitting them out ... To follow up my scolding T said, "That's unacceptable K____!"

I love it when they help parent. N (6) has been doing a lot of assisting me lately. It's great!

woo-hoo

I took T (2.5) to gymnastics on Friday and she wore big girl pants! All I could think was, no unsightly diaper lines. I almost took a picture of her backside. Heh. She only wants to wear big girl pants now. Me, I'm not ready to give up her diaper at nap and definitely not at night time--definitely not! Yesterday, we compromised and she wore her big girl pants under her diaper at nap. She stayed dry.

When she is completely out of diapers, we're going to have a really big party and invite all of our friends! Heh.