The doctor called back about my blood work. I hadn't heard from her, and I was hoping no news was good news. It mostly was, but one of the next level antibody tests was significant. I'm not supposed to worry about it. In general, I'm not... Yes, I've googled a lot, but ... I'm not going to do what ifs...
This is a good reminder to just go with life. My friend had no warning. Just boom. Just because there's something "not right" doesn't mean it's going to be what "gets you." I googled enough to feel like I have a handle on stuff, and we'll just hope, as the doctor said, that significant blood tests without symptoms are like "chasing ghosts."
Now I can tell you more about my back and knee... except, I'm not in the mood. I <3 my PT. I had to see a different PT last week and she did something weird to me and my back hurt a lot. I got to see my regular PT today... She did stuff that made sense and I'm sore, but I don't think it's bad.
Okay... ending this post so I can stop thinking about things. I need to do a better job recording the cuteness of little girls. They make me smile. Smiling is important. Happiness is important. Deep breath and think about all the good stuff. In with the good and out with the bad. I need to get into a yoga class.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
What's for dinner?
Yummy Indian! This isn't "home made" but all the packet is is spices. It's got some spices I've never heard of, e.g., ajowan seeds and anchur powder, and the spice mix made the best Indian I've ever cooked.
I will definitely order some! Thanks PS! It's always good to learn of another easy, yummy, healthy dinner!
I will definitely order some! Thanks PS! It's always good to learn of another easy, yummy, healthy dinner!
Back to my knee....
I've been analyzing my knee, 'cause that's what I do in my spare time, and I think I have about 3-4 things wrong with my knee, and that's why the pain is still there... tendonitis in the front, tendonitis in the back (popliteal), arthritis in the front, and then pain in my knee from my back--referred pain.
Despite how much is wrong, I do think my knee is getting better. It's VERY slow going, but it is feeling better. For example*, yesterday I was in a bounce house, bouncing, not jumping--shhhhh don't tell my physical therapist as she might not like knowing that--but despite my activity, my knee isn't too sore today.
Another example, at the beginning of September, I tried a bouncy thing and my knee HATED IT...Instantly it HATED IT, and complained about it for a week or so.
It's sore in the front today... arthritis or tendonitis? You vote. I'm thinking it might be the tendonitis.
*That's for you PS!
Despite how much is wrong, I do think my knee is getting better. It's VERY slow going, but it is feeling better. For example*, yesterday I was in a bounce house, bouncing, not jumping--shhhhh don't tell my physical therapist as she might not like knowing that--but despite my activity, my knee isn't too sore today.
Another example, at the beginning of September, I tried a bouncy thing and my knee HATED IT...Instantly it HATED IT, and complained about it for a week or so.
It's sore in the front today... arthritis or tendonitis? You vote. I'm thinking it might be the tendonitis.
*That's for you PS!
Friday, October 23, 2009
My friend
My friend had a stroke almost 2 years ago. She died a few days later. She never regained consciousness. She was young. She was 35. She had a little girl. The little girl was 3.
I am still sad.
My friend's husband just got remarried. I am happy for him, and I know he still misses her, but his life needs to go on.
I haven't seen him for a year and 1/2. I haven't seen her little girl for a year and 1/2. If my friend were here, we'd be discussing our experiences with our girls in kindergarten all the time. I always imagined that my friend and I would be talking about the girls and dating, the girls and applying to college, then weddings, and then of course, some day, grandbabies.
She's been gone for almost two years, and I no longer drink coffee. Life is different. I miss her.
I am still sad.
My friend's husband just got remarried. I am happy for him, and I know he still misses her, but his life needs to go on.
I haven't seen him for a year and 1/2. I haven't seen her little girl for a year and 1/2. If my friend were here, we'd be discussing our experiences with our girls in kindergarten all the time. I always imagined that my friend and I would be talking about the girls and dating, the girls and applying to college, then weddings, and then of course, some day, grandbabies.
She's been gone for almost two years, and I no longer drink coffee. Life is different. I miss her.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Fun at the doctor's office
I had my appointment with the rheumatologist today. She was a little baffled as to why I was in her office. She said, You had no symptoms to warrant the blood test for ANA. I explained my father's potential problems (lupus) and she still didn't think the blood test was warranted. I didn't ASK for the test, my doctor ordered it. I think my other doctor was being thorough. I'm sure my other doctor expected it would just be a quick blood test.
Them the rheumatologist and I discussed my past problem with TM, and she didn't think my TM was even real. Your symptoms were so mild, she said. True. But it was real. It was scary. I was TINGLY for 3 MONTHS. I forgot to tell her how EXHAUSTED I was during that time. I remember being so tired. But despite being tired, I was lucky. I didn't have a severe case. She checked the neurology department records and then she believed the TM was real. She doesn't think I have anything wrong with me. I hope she's right.
But, because the blood work showed high ANA levels she had to send me for more blood tests. I had 35.5 ml taken today. These were the vials before they were filled.
35.5 ml is a little over an ounce of blood. We're hoping that all of these follow up tests are a waste of time. We'll know more in about a week.
The best part of the appointment was probably the weigh-in before hand. Lowest weight on a doctor's scale since probably 1987-1990. I am back in high school/college* weight range.
Despite the doctor thinking I should NOT be taking up the appointment time in her office, she was very nice. We discussed kids. Her children went to the school where my oNe and twoK went to preschool and where Three-a still is. (Next year Three-a will go to the public school.) The doctor said I looked just like one of her good friends.
Did I tell you that former supervisor said I looked just like his ex-wife? It's kind of funny... When I went for my interview, I thought it went well, but it turns out, former supervisor was a little freaked 'cause I looked just like his ex-wife. Despite that, he hired me.
*I gained the freshman 15, but lost it by the time I was a sophomore... then I bounced around a little until I started dancing. I'm about at the weight I was when I graduated from college and that was a good weight!
Them the rheumatologist and I discussed my past problem with TM, and she didn't think my TM was even real. Your symptoms were so mild, she said. True. But it was real. It was scary. I was TINGLY for 3 MONTHS. I forgot to tell her how EXHAUSTED I was during that time. I remember being so tired. But despite being tired, I was lucky. I didn't have a severe case. She checked the neurology department records and then she believed the TM was real. She doesn't think I have anything wrong with me. I hope she's right.
But, because the blood work showed high ANA levels she had to send me for more blood tests. I had 35.5 ml taken today. These were the vials before they were filled.
35.5 ml is a little over an ounce of blood. We're hoping that all of these follow up tests are a waste of time. We'll know more in about a week.
The best part of the appointment was probably the weigh-in before hand. Lowest weight on a doctor's scale since probably 1987-1990. I am back in high school/college* weight range.
Despite the doctor thinking I should NOT be taking up the appointment time in her office, she was very nice. We discussed kids. Her children went to the school where my oNe and twoK went to preschool and where Three-a still is. (Next year Three-a will go to the public school.) The doctor said I looked just like one of her good friends.
Did I tell you that former supervisor said I looked just like his ex-wife? It's kind of funny... When I went for my interview, I thought it went well, but it turns out, former supervisor was a little freaked 'cause I looked just like his ex-wife. Despite that, he hired me.
*I gained the freshman 15, but lost it by the time I was a sophomore... then I bounced around a little until I started dancing. I'm about at the weight I was when I graduated from college and that was a good weight!
yum! The new rice burger version!
These are new. They are yum. In case you hadn't heard, there's a dark side to soy. Soy has been linked to malnutrition, thyroid problems, cognitive problems, cancer, and more negative health issues. I'll get into the negatives of soy later when I read more, but for now, these new vegan burgers are good to know about because they are tasty!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Kid stuff
New for kids! I just ordered it. I will get certified to teach Zumba and I will teach ZumbAtomic... Someday. As soon as there is a training in my area. As soon as I have time. Hopefully in the spring.
It RAINED today. Three trees fell down at oNe and twoK's school. Crazy. It doesn't usually rain this early where we live. The leaves were on the trees and I guess, the trees were TOO heavy with all the water. It looked so crazy at the school with all the fallen trees.
Three-a wants to go play in the rain with her rain boots and her Diego umbrella, but, I think it's cold.
Here's a milestone for you... I can now drop oNe off at Gymnastics, and leave her there. It's pretty cool. It doesn't mean I have more time to get stuff done, but I don't have to try to entertain the other two while over at the gymnastics place. I have to head back to pick her up in about 5 minutes. All I have had time to do is help twoK with something (she wanted me to print something for her) and stir my spaghetti sauce, and check in to FB and write this. I still have a HUGE amount to read tonight for work. Sigh.
Okay... All for now. I'll let you know about the Zumbatomic video when we get it!
It RAINED today. Three trees fell down at oNe and twoK's school. Crazy. It doesn't usually rain this early where we live. The leaves were on the trees and I guess, the trees were TOO heavy with all the water. It looked so crazy at the school with all the fallen trees.
Three-a wants to go play in the rain with her rain boots and her Diego umbrella, but, I think it's cold.
Here's a milestone for you... I can now drop oNe off at Gymnastics, and leave her there. It's pretty cool. It doesn't mean I have more time to get stuff done, but I don't have to try to entertain the other two while over at the gymnastics place. I have to head back to pick her up in about 5 minutes. All I have had time to do is help twoK with something (she wanted me to print something for her) and stir my spaghetti sauce, and check in to FB and write this. I still have a HUGE amount to read tonight for work. Sigh.
Okay... All for now. I'll let you know about the Zumbatomic video when we get it!
Monday, October 12, 2009
For when she's a teenager
Three-a told us that we (her parents) weren't old. That it would be a long time before we were old. We <3 that girl!
Sunday, October 11, 2009
11
MWH and I celebrated 11 years of wedded bliss. True bliss. On Friday, we sent the girls over to N3nny's house and we got to sleep in on Saturday. Ahhhhh! Then we went furniture shopping. I thought I had written about how we need to get new bedroom furniture for our room, but that SEARCH box up in the left-hand corner doesn't seem to be working. Argh. I can't find my posts with information about our need for furntiture. Google owns blogspot... You'd think they could make SEARCH work.
Anyway, we looked at some bedroom furniture, and we know what it will be hard to find what we want. We aren't typical. But! MWH took me to look at couches and we may have found new chairs for our kitchen table. And! The couch store was a store I didn't think I liked, but I like it! I do, I do!
For our day together, we also worked out, went to lunch at a yummy place with awesome salads, but we sat in a very echo-y room with kids*, then we looked for toys for the girls, had a slice of carrot cake at a bakery, and went to the grocery store. We're boring, but we are very happy. It was fun to do the "normal stuff" with just MWH. We missed the girls, but they are exhausting!
It was super fun to go browse in the toy store. So many good toys. As we browsed, we remembered we wanted some of these for the girls, but they were out at the toy store, so I came home and ordered them. The girls LOVE them and this toy 1) helps their fine motor skills, and keeps them quiet. Some would argue it helps their cognitive skills in that they have to match numbers to colors, but I'm not going that far. My favorite thing is how QUIET the girls are when they are engaged in making one of those. I think I'll make it my gift of choice for pre-kindergartners, kindergartners and first graders.
We got Three-a a jack-in-the-box because she says she really wants one. Who knows if a four-year-old really wants a jack-in-the-box or not, but I think they are cool too, so we got one!
I found out about OluKai flip-flops and will order either some of those or some Chacos for next summer. They have arch support.
Hrmmmm... I started talking about MWH and our anniversary and ended up on shoes. I think the commonality is I love both of them. (And, the toy store had the OluKai shoes.) It was super fun to get a day with MWH. I hope we can manage another date/day before the end of the year.
*We were sitting alone in this little back room and this family of four came in. A little boy, about 8, who managed to find the resonant frequency of the room. Argh. I tried not to look at them because I know I would have given dirty looks. Really, that room is echo-y and no one under the age of 16 should be allowed in it. Note to self, DO NOT TAKE THE GIRLS IN THAT ROOM.
Anyway, we looked at some bedroom furniture, and we know what it will be hard to find what we want. We aren't typical. But! MWH took me to look at couches and we may have found new chairs for our kitchen table. And! The couch store was a store I didn't think I liked, but I like it! I do, I do!
For our day together, we also worked out, went to lunch at a yummy place with awesome salads, but we sat in a very echo-y room with kids*, then we looked for toys for the girls, had a slice of carrot cake at a bakery, and went to the grocery store. We're boring, but we are very happy. It was fun to do the "normal stuff" with just MWH. We missed the girls, but they are exhausting!
It was super fun to go browse in the toy store. So many good toys. As we browsed, we remembered we wanted some of these for the girls, but they were out at the toy store, so I came home and ordered them. The girls LOVE them and this toy 1) helps their fine motor skills, and keeps them quiet. Some would argue it helps their cognitive skills in that they have to match numbers to colors, but I'm not going that far. My favorite thing is how QUIET the girls are when they are engaged in making one of those. I think I'll make it my gift of choice for pre-kindergartners, kindergartners and first graders.
We got Three-a a jack-in-the-box because she says she really wants one. Who knows if a four-year-old really wants a jack-in-the-box or not, but I think they are cool too, so we got one!
I found out about OluKai flip-flops and will order either some of those or some Chacos for next summer. They have arch support.
Hrmmmm... I started talking about MWH and our anniversary and ended up on shoes. I think the commonality is I love both of them. (And, the toy store had the OluKai shoes.) It was super fun to get a day with MWH. I hope we can manage another date/day before the end of the year.
*We were sitting alone in this little back room and this family of four came in. A little boy, about 8, who managed to find the resonant frequency of the room. Argh. I tried not to look at them because I know I would have given dirty looks. Really, that room is echo-y and no one under the age of 16 should be allowed in it. Note to self, DO NOT TAKE THE GIRLS IN THAT ROOM.
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Cold update
I feel better. I am now coughing like crazy and hope I don't end up with bronchitis. I will rest and do all that I can to help my body recover. Goals for the day: to work for about 5 hours and to ride the exercise bike for 20 minutes.
so sweet
oNe's cat loves her. He really loves her. He's actually super great with all the girls. Here's a picture of oNe's cat letting Three-a hold him. Good cat! He likes it! He relaxes when they pick him up. He struggles a little when I try to hold him. I love that he loves kids so much.
Anyway, two things he did recently that make me realize how much he loves oNe. First, he was siting looking out the open door and sniffing the breeze. He heard oNe come home from school and he went racing down to see her. He LOVES the open door. He must LOVE oNe more. He was so excited she was home.
Second, the other night he jumped up to snuggle with oNe in her bed. As soon as he jumped up he started purring like you wouldn't believe. She is HIS girl. Awwww.
Anyway, two things he did recently that make me realize how much he loves oNe. First, he was siting looking out the open door and sniffing the breeze. He heard oNe come home from school and he went racing down to see her. He LOVES the open door. He must LOVE oNe more. He was so excited she was home.
Second, the other night he jumped up to snuggle with oNe in her bed. As soon as he jumped up he started purring like you wouldn't believe. She is HIS girl. Awwww.
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
sick
I don't wanna be sick. I am though. I am coughing and I am very tired. I should take a little rest before I do a phone call at 3. Thank goodness for being able to work at home.
thick and fuzzy
That's how I would describe my head. I got a cold. I thought it was going to be mild and gone within a couple of days, but I feel awful. I'm coughing and have a horrible sinus headache.
I wanna be well tomorrow. I don't know if I will.
This weekend, MWH and I celebrating our 11th anniversary. We are planning to have a date and a night to ourselves. It'll be a bummer if he gets sick. Send his immune system good thoughts.
I wanna be well tomorrow. I don't know if I will.
This weekend, MWH and I celebrating our 11th anniversary. We are planning to have a date and a night to ourselves. It'll be a bummer if he gets sick. Send his immune system good thoughts.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Bike Riders
Today, I saw the cutest couple... They were probably 70+ and were all suited up for their bike ride. They were wearing bike shoes, bike pants, and even little rear view mirrors on their glasses. They looked like they were in very good shape. I hope MWH and I can do things like that when we're 70+.
(Errr...On second thought, maybe, we'll have bikes that are hooked to energy generators and we'll power our house. I don't really like riding outside.)
(Errr...On second thought, maybe, we'll have bikes that are hooked to energy generators and we'll power our house. I don't really like riding outside.)
Monday, October 05, 2009
Short One
All I am doing here is documenting a little of the last week. I'm kind of overwhelmed by all that I should be doing for work, and all I have failed to write about for home, so in an effort to get started, I will do a short blog post.
1. I made Hummus this weekend! Super yum and super easy. I made this one. I can't believe I haven't made hummus before. Next time, I'll try this!
2. twoK lost a tooth on Saturday. It was her third one. She pulled it out when it wasn't very wiggly, and it bled quite a bit. Again, this is documentation of oNe and twoK being OPPOSITES. oNe's teeth are practically rotting in her head before they come out. There was lots of root left on twoK's tooth. There is NO root ever left on oNe's. twoK and oNe set the points on the spectrum.
3. I have a slight cold. I think Three-a gave it to me. She got sick on Friday and is now seemingly all better. I got a touch of something on Saturday, sore throat on Sunday and a little sinus-sniffles today. It's not that bad as far as colds go, but I am sleepy.
4. I found out that we're going to work on a project idea again. It wasn't funded, so we'll revise it and submit somewhere else. It ranked in the top 18%, but we think they only funded top 10%. It's the story of my life. Revise and resubmit.
5. And then there's another one that is undergoing the same treatment. The one we love. We are making progress on revising it and I think it will be better this time. However, this is the last time we will do this idea. If we don't get funding this time, it's over. (We were working within the constraints of another project and that project will end, and thus our opportunity for this new research will end. More on this is documented in my work life.)
6. I got good news/bad news from the doctor on my blood tests. (Did them last Sunday.) My cholesterol rocks, but the test for antibodies that indicate autoimmune activity are significant. Bleh. I've written about a previous experience I had in 1997 if you follow this link. I don't know if the indicators are indicative of that experience, a new one, or related to my Dad maybe having Lupus. I don't know if I have a history of lupus or not.
I just searched my blog and I can't find where I ever about my Dad and his potential lupus diagnosis. The short story. When my dad was so sick, they found that he had pulmonary fibrosis (or scarring on his lungs). They didn't get to fully understand the cause for the scarring, but the first look at it indicated that he his scarring was probably from either scleroderma or lupus. I guess, from what little I've read, there's an overlap between lupus and many other disorders including scleroderma.
My Dad's pulmonary fibrosis was pretty significant, but we don't know when it started or why. When I mentioned to my doctor that my Dad might have had lupus, she wanted to run a blood test on me to see if I had any thing going on. I'd forgotten about that. When I went to get my blood taken last week, mostly to see how my cholesterol was, they ran the test. On Friday night, my doctor called to tell me that the results from the "first lupus screening" came back as positive and I needed to follow up with a specialist (a rheumatologist if you're interested in details). Ugh.
I probably should go call and make an appointment with the rheumatologist. New theme for the blog.... All I learn from the rheumatologist.
7. I made this soup last night. The ingredients sound a little odd, and that they might not combine well, but they do! Oh my! This is good. I've been fantasizing about eating this soup all day. We have leftovers. Yum!
And now for a bloggy ad for the blog of a new blogosphere friend who posted that recipe. She has a wonderful blog on health and happiness. Go read her!
1. I made Hummus this weekend! Super yum and super easy. I made this one. I can't believe I haven't made hummus before. Next time, I'll try this!
2. twoK lost a tooth on Saturday. It was her third one. She pulled it out when it wasn't very wiggly, and it bled quite a bit. Again, this is documentation of oNe and twoK being OPPOSITES. oNe's teeth are practically rotting in her head before they come out. There was lots of root left on twoK's tooth. There is NO root ever left on oNe's. twoK and oNe set the points on the spectrum.
3. I have a slight cold. I think Three-a gave it to me. She got sick on Friday and is now seemingly all better. I got a touch of something on Saturday, sore throat on Sunday and a little sinus-sniffles today. It's not that bad as far as colds go, but I am sleepy.
4. I found out that we're going to work on a project idea again. It wasn't funded, so we'll revise it and submit somewhere else. It ranked in the top 18%, but we think they only funded top 10%. It's the story of my life. Revise and resubmit.
5. And then there's another one that is undergoing the same treatment. The one we love. We are making progress on revising it and I think it will be better this time. However, this is the last time we will do this idea. If we don't get funding this time, it's over. (We were working within the constraints of another project and that project will end, and thus our opportunity for this new research will end. More on this is documented in my work life.)
6. I got good news/bad news from the doctor on my blood tests. (Did them last Sunday.) My cholesterol rocks, but the test for antibodies that indicate autoimmune activity are significant. Bleh. I've written about a previous experience I had in 1997 if you follow this link. I don't know if the indicators are indicative of that experience, a new one, or related to my Dad maybe having Lupus. I don't know if I have a history of lupus or not.
I just searched my blog and I can't find where I ever about my Dad and his potential lupus diagnosis. The short story. When my dad was so sick, they found that he had pulmonary fibrosis (or scarring on his lungs). They didn't get to fully understand the cause for the scarring, but the first look at it indicated that he his scarring was probably from either scleroderma or lupus. I guess, from what little I've read, there's an overlap between lupus and many other disorders including scleroderma.
My Dad's pulmonary fibrosis was pretty significant, but we don't know when it started or why. When I mentioned to my doctor that my Dad might have had lupus, she wanted to run a blood test on me to see if I had any thing going on. I'd forgotten about that. When I went to get my blood taken last week, mostly to see how my cholesterol was, they ran the test. On Friday night, my doctor called to tell me that the results from the "first lupus screening" came back as positive and I needed to follow up with a specialist (a rheumatologist if you're interested in details). Ugh.
I probably should go call and make an appointment with the rheumatologist. New theme for the blog.... All I learn from the rheumatologist.
7. I made this soup last night. The ingredients sound a little odd, and that they might not combine well, but they do! Oh my! This is good. I've been fantasizing about eating this soup all day. We have leftovers. Yum!
And now for a bloggy ad for the blog of a new blogosphere friend who posted that recipe. She has a wonderful blog on health and happiness. Go read her!
Thursday, October 01, 2009
Sleep
I had to get up very early (6:30 am) and go to work. This is an hour earlier than I ever get up, and boy did it get to me! All day long I was tired and confused about whether I was hungry or not. I had trouble doing everything and just wanted to go to sleep. I snacked on a lot of "bad" foods because my ability to control myself seemed to be gone. Sleep is important. I can't wait to go to sleep tonight! ZZZZZzzzzz.
agoneeeeezing
Did you get the pun? What if I said, agokneeeeezing?
I haven't been posting lately because 1) Mom visiting and 2) all I would discuss is my knee. Here's a short update on my knee.
I went to the doctor last Wednesday. After a very cursory exam, the doctor scolded me for googling, told me there was no way the numbness was from my knee, that it was from my back, and then she handed me an order for an MRI on my knee. After agokneeeeezing, I think I've decided I don't (k)need the MRI on my knee. I think my knee is getting better; I have some tendonitis to deal with, resting it will help, but we know how hard it is for me to NOT work out. I also have to continue strengthening the muscles around my knee. I do think it is getting better.
Now, I am seeing the PT for my back, and I'll write about the back later.
Quick update on my Mom's visit....Actually, no, I'll do this later.
She's fine, and the visit is as I expected, but some stuff happened back where she lives (her house was broken into) and it's awful and frustrating. I'll write about that later.
Now, back to work for me.
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