Monday, August 31, 2009
Where do you want to be in 5 years?
Anyway, back to the question in the blitle. I always hated that questions on graduate school applications. They were usually phrased as: Five years after completing your Ph.D., where do you want to be, and what type of research do you want to be doing?
Mostly, I had no idea, and now, still, I'm not sure. Some things never change! I don't plan to "quit my day job," but I do want to think about a few other things. Fortunately, my supervisor is the coolest and she likes to think about other things too. As long as my day job lets me keep working 1/2 time, it'll all be good.
So here's what I'm thinking about... Bet you're not surprised by the next few paragraphs.
1. Get certified for Zumba. I'm teaching dance/aerobics in oNe and twoK's classes (for sure oNe's and maybe twoK's). I want to help the girls make exercise and dance a big part of their lives. I'm still a little scared to get certified for Zumba. I wrote about my dilemma about certification here. I think I am leaning towards getting certified. I'll never be S____ but I do think I could teach kids and I think I could be very good at it. I think it would be a blast.
2. Get my thoughts around nutrition and food organized. Maybe take nutrition classes? Maybe try to write something about food? Maybe change focus of this blog to food? Start a new blog? I'm not sure. For now, I'll just write about food/nutrition here. (I'll keep writing about the girls here, though I write about them less here and record many of the memories on the other blog).
I rationalize it's okay to write about food here because my interest in food and nutrition grew after the girls were born. (I started all of them off with the best food (breast milk!) exclusively for 6 months. oNe nursed for 15 months and twoK and Three-a for 3 years each.) After they started solid foods, I wanted to feed them the best foods! I knew some good foods, but I also had many questions about "the best diet." I still do. The three little girls definitely inspired me to learn more about healthy foods, but I still have a lot to learn.
Who knows where these two interests will lead, or if they will lead anywhere other than the benefit of my girls (and MWH and me). I'll probably be talking about these two topics more and more. Hope you don't mind. I'd love to have you stay around for the journey and see where we go. Happy Belated Blogoversary to me.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
TTTTTTransition
Okay... new spin on this post, 'cause it's already bringing me down.
Onward with the power of positive thinking...
This morning, Three-a (who is four!) came in to snuggle with me. She's a great snuggle-bunny in the morning. She's my sweet-T! I was really exhausted, but she let me kind of doze. It was so nice.
Tomorrow, Three-a starts school--Pre-K. I can't believe it. My littlest baby is not a baby.
twoK LOVES kindergarten. She had her first bit of homework and did it the second she got home from school. So cute!
oNe seems to like her class, and that's really all I know so far. This week has "back to school night" and we'll learn more and I'll get to sign up for volunteering. I love being in their classroom. Just call me NOSEY Mom!
Oh, yea, there's another transition occurring. A frolleague....(colleague and friend, but more friend than colleague) has asked me to do something with her and a group of others in our field. It's a new consulting gig. I said yes, and now we're starting to do some things. I am 1) nervous, 2) hopeful, and 3) worried about this endeavor. There's really nothing else to say yet.
Today, we head to Costco... MWH thought I might want to buy clothes for the girls there, and maybe. I should see if they have winter coats there. We need one for oNe and Three-a. My neighbor just sent over a ton of clothes her little girl had outgrown so Three-a is pretty set. oNe always needs clothes and twoK always WANTS clothes. I'll see if they have any good jeans for me. (Ah, my endless quest for comfortable, good fitting, stylish, CHEAP jeans that make my legs look long and thin and my butt small. Heh. They probably don't exist. A girl can dream, right?)
My new ride
It's pretty tough, eh? My new recumbent exercise bike.
It came last Tuesday. I have ridden it one time so far. When I finish this post, I will go double the amount of time I've spent on it. I'm supposed to ride the bike to cross train my legs for Zumba. The PT is helping, but I probably did a little too much Zumba, and not enough other stuff last week.
I learned that you can lose muscle in a week or two, but it takes 6-8 weeks to build it back. My injury occurred about 6 weeks ago, but I didn't start "fixing" it until about 2 weeks ago, so I have a ways to go.
The other thing I have learned, exercise bikes do not allow a person to burn many calories per minute. On the elliptical, I burn ~12 calories per minute. On the bike, I'm lucky if I can burn 6 per minute.
More soon... I'll try to talk about something other than PT and exercise next time. Maybe, I'll talk about the recent heat wave that broke! It was HOT Thursday, Friday and Saturday. It cooled last night--thank goodness! I was getting melty.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Easier
2 Zucchini
1 Yellow Squash
1 large onion
Olive Oil
red pepper flakes
black pepper
Saute well (the zucchini and squash should be a little brown and the onions well-cooked). (I can't remember if I started cooking the onions first or if I threw it all in together... I'm guessing I probably started the onions first.)
Add in a couple of cans of these...
Let it cook for ~5 minutes or so. Serve over pasta! (Add parmesan cheese if you like.)
Breakfast of champions
Broccoli and Miso soup. Yum. More about the health benefits and wonders of Miso soon. Next up, day 11 of this horrible virus, now with rash!
Monday, August 24, 2009
Doomed?
MWH is sick. Last night, he didn't really sleep. I don't wanna get sick. Of course, no one does. I have a big meeting on Thursday.... I have a slight headache and am tired, but I didn't get much sleep because MWH was awake almost all night. I'm going to try to nap and hopefully it will help. Ugh.
oNe went to school today. She said she felt like it. She looks almost back to normal. Yesterday, she had lots of energy. Hopefully she will be okay.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Step away from the computer
played with the girls for a few minutes (they didn't want me to play though, so instead I)
sorted toys in the play room
fed girls lunch
watered plants
picked tomatoes
picked a pepper
gave twoK a bath
sorted more toys
pulled sheets off twoK's bed and put in a load of laundry
realized there are about 3 more loads of laundry to do today
Now, I need to take a shower and then twoK and I will head to target and run errands. I want to ride the exercise bike at the gym today too. Yikes, I need to get moving.
Report from Germ HQ
MWH has fallen prey to this virus that has invaded our house. He had sinus-stuffiness yesterday and a really sore throat last night (that kept him awake). He thought it was a common cold yesterday, but I think it's the same virus. It will affect adults slightly differently than children, I'm guessing. The girls are almost over their fevers, oNe was fever-free yesterday. twoK and Three-a were about 100 rather than 101-102. Three-a has hinted that she'll be coughing soon, but isn't really coughing yet.
I calculated the incubation of this virus to be ~4-5 days. Based on MWH coming down with it, it could be many more days until I know I am in the clear. UGH.
Over and out.
Here is the technical section on the virus, from the CDC, describing the virus most likely responsible for the situation. (Parainfluenza)
Saturday, August 22, 2009
several
I went to Zumba on Thursday and it didn't hurt my knee (too much). Yesterday, I went to PT and described how it all felt to the physical therapist. She said, it didn't sound like I hurt it in a "bad" way. I could keep going to Zumba, but that I needed to be smart about it. 1) Not too high impact, and 2) give myself ample recovery time between classes. The other thing I was thinking about is just doing 1/2 or 3/4s of a a class rather than the full class. That might be a little easier on my knee.
The other thing, my hamstrings were sore after the Zumba class. The PT gave me some new exercises to do for them. I am excited to get them better!
I found a new chocolate bar I LOVE. It's the Trader Joe's Fair Trade Swiss Dark Chocolate Bar. If you came to my house, I'd give you some. I am excited because I haven't liked chocolate very much for a while. I *know* I have discussed not liking chocolate here, but I can't find the post. (When I search my blog for chocolate, I get no hits... I know that is wrong. There must be something wrong with the blogger search function right now.)
I'm kind of sad about not teaching this fall... And I saw a post from a person (in Facebook) who works at OLU that said she was teaching adjunct faculty how to teach online.... ummmmm... I was told there weren't going to be adjunct faculty by someone else from OLU.
If there are adjunct faculty, how come I'm not one of them? There's really nothing I can say or do, so I'll just be bummed. If I want to teach, I probably have to look around for something else... I really liked the program at OLU though and don't really want to start anything new right now. I don't actually have time for teaching right now, but still..... Bleh. Maybe I better go self-medicate with chocolate.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
lower
Part 2
oNe sounds horrible. It started off so mild... Just a fever, and nothing else. Then a cough after the fever... Now the fever and a cough together. Maybe it was two separate bugs? Hrm. And Ugh.
It sucks to have little girls miss the first day of school. twoK missed the first day of KINDERGARTEN. Wowza. One for the baby books. I asked MWH if we should take a picture of them looking pathetic--you know, usually you get happy, eager, shiny children pictures on the first day. We have sunken eyes with deep, dark circles. It's sad.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
sort of the end of summer
We get home and she's still coughing up a lung... I'm kind of hoping if I ignore it, she'll be better. Finally, I can't ignore it and I take her temperature. 102.
Ugh. Our school requires everyone to be there... I don't know what to do. I decide, I'll take her, germy and all and let them send her home. Then I email some Mom-friends and they suggest I take her into urgent care tonight and get the doctor's note that will keep her from having to be at school. Brilliant friends I have.
Here we sit at urgent care right now. We're waiting for the doctor to come in and see her. It's been a while. Poor girl is sick, and bored. She'd rather be at home in her bed and I don't blame her one little bit.
to be continued....
Monday, August 17, 2009
It's a Monday
After we got back, I was EXHAUSTED. twoK and Three-a were playing, oNe was resting, and I laid on the couch. I snoozed for 40 minutes and then felt MUCH better.
Tomorrow is Three-a's birthday!!!! She'll be four. Her name won't change as it indicates little girl #3, not her age. I think we'll go to the little kid amusement park, but we might go to another indoor playground. If I feel up to the little kid amusement park, we'll offer it.
twoK has decided to cut her hair short and wants it done before school starts. We have an appointment tomorrow night. I should probably make Three-a a cake, eh? I may need to have MWH buy some ice cream on the way home.
I believe this is THE MOST BORING blog post ever, but that's okay. The big purpose of this post was to remember my nap. I hardly ever take naps. It was nice to be lazy.
PT
I'm doing a pretty good job n doing the exercises for PT. I'm stretching a lot, and doing one set of the inner thigh exercises a day (need to do two sets). Today, we're going to look at exercise bikes! I'm hoping to get one within the week.
Okay... Off to get ready for the day.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
topics
1. We have company. The house is pretty clean. It doesn't look all shiny though. MWH and I were discussing how much touch-up paint we need around the place... We just moved in (in 2006); and I haven't even finished unpacking. Little girls are hard on walls!
I also have FINALLY decided to do window treatments in the upstairs living room. Our living room is really casual, so it feels funny to call it a living room. I guess, it's really more of a "great room." Anyway, in my head, I wanted wood shutters, but I don't think they would go well with the room. It's taken a lot of debate (in my head) to get past my hang up on wanting shutters, but I've done it and decided to go with light filtering blinds similar to these. Now I just have to call and get them ordered. We have something like the type in the picture in our bedroom and I like them. (Sidebar: Although, now I'm thinking a roman shade would look nice in our bedroom. I'll probably change it out someday.) (Ask me in 5 years if it's happened yet. Heh.)
2. Hrm... I lost all the other thoughts I had in my head... All I can think of now are blinds.
3. Kindergarten. We found out twoK teacher and that she is "afternoon." She's not in the same class as our neighbor or anther friend we know. I still have to call another friend to find out what class her daughter is in.
4. Now that we know that twoK is in afternoon kindergarten, I can plan my fall schedule. I had fantasies that we could reduce our n3nny's hours, but really, it's hard. Part of the problem is that I like to work out and I need some time to do that. The other part of the problem is that even though I work half-time, I need to be somewhat flexible for work. Sometimes, I need to be there on a Tuesday, sometimes I need to be there on a Friday and sometimes I need to be there all 5 days in one week.
Having a nearly full-time (not quite) nanny allows me to be flexible. N3nny is great... Sometimes I find myself focusing on the negative, but in general, she does many wonderful things. I do have some things to discuss with her. I'm going to make a list of the things I don't like and then figure out how I can communicate the problems in a very positive way. One little thing is that she goes to the store for us some times and she doesn't take the frozen food home right away. It doesn't bother her to let it all melt, whereas, it drives ME CRAZY. I want frozen food to be RUSHED home from the grocery store and put in the freezer in .2 seconds. If I could keep a freezer in the back of my car to put the food in on the way home. I know. It's my freaky issue. I'm LUCKY to have someone help me grocery shop, so I should just shut up, but it bothers me.
I don't think N3nny knows how much it bothers me, so I need to 1) let her know and 2) only ask her to go to the store when she has time to get stuff home quickly. There are other things that bug me, but they aren't worth blogging about. Most of the things that bug are minor. Most of the things that bug just stem from the fact that N3nny and I are different people. It's not a big deal. I like N3nny's views on kids and how wonderful she is with the girls. That's the most important thing.
Okay, there's more, but I won't bore you for now. Hopefully, I'll get back to the blog soon.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
yeowch!
Today, I went to physical therapy and she gave me a couple of exercises. Most important is stretching my tight ilio-tibial band. I didn't even know I had an ilio-tibial band, let alone how to stretch it. Mine is pretty tight. And it sticks out of my leg. I'd never noticed it until she pointed it out today. Maybe I'll take a picture and share. I'll think about it. Anyway, the PT showed me the stretch in the video on this page for the ilio-tibial band. It's a stretch on a roller and YEOWCH! Who would have thought a little roller could hurt so much? It STILL hurts. It hurts a great deal.
I'm glad I went to the doctor and that now I'm doing stuff that is good for my legs. I want my legs and knees to last a long time. I liked the physical therapist a lot. She was super cute and it turns out, she was 11 weeks pregnant! I couldn't tell at all. She was teeny tiny and looked great. After she told me, we chatted a lot about kids.
On a completely different note, I got to have a 3-hour lunch and catch up with a good friend from college. I haven't seen her for
Tomorrow night, I may get to see that other friend from college I mentioned. Pretty crazy.... two college friends in one week, both thanks to Facebook. If I get to see him, I'll tell you more about him afterwards.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
A good night's sleep
Anyway, today was kindergarten orientation/assessment for placement with twoK today. Super fun. I realized, she's little girl #2, and things like kindergarten orientation are just FUN with her. She doesn't have any of the anxiety oNe did about things. oNe was the first born, and it's scary to go do new things because you're the first one to go to them. Now, twoK knows that oNe survived (and even liked) the things so it's fun for twoK and therefore fun for me!
Also, it's fun because she's #2 but she's not the LAST little girl. Today wasn't our last kindergarten orientation. Next year, when Three-a goes, I'll have to be a little wistful. I will be happy that everyone will be in school, but I will also have to be a little sad that my baby is growing up. (They grow so fast!)
On another note, Three-a seems okay today. It seems the throwing up was from exhaustion. I'm still on "germ watch" until after tomorrow to make sure no one else is sick though.
And finally, my doctor's appointment... It went as well as I could have expected. My ligaments are fine. The doctor says you can't rule out a meniscus tear with an examination, that you need an MRI, but from all I have told her, it doesn't sound like one. I don't have the symptoms of one. She diagnosed me with "Runner's Knees," due to not "cross training" well enough. I mostly need to strengthen the vastus intermedius part of my quad. I will go to physical therapy (PT) to do this for at least 3 weeks. I am excited to learn how to strengthen my legs in a way that will help me.
The other cool thing about PT is that it's located in the gym where I take Zumba! Woo! Very convenient. The hours they have at that gym aren't very extensive, but 4 of my 6 appointments are scheduled for that gym. Two are scheduled at another office about a mile away.
The doctor thought I could probably get back to the level of Zumba that I want to do.... She mentioned that jumping and deep knee bends are really hard on the knees. I knew that. I'm good with giving up the deep knee bends, but I want to keep jumping.... It's my hope that I can do jump again in a couple of months. The doctor explained that as we leave our 30s, we have to do more strengthening to be able to do the workouts we like. She said, I didn't need to cross train in my 20s and 30s, but I do now. How sad, but it's okay... I want to maintain fitness, so doing new things to make me fit isn't so bad. Variety is the spice of life, right? (But, UGH, the aging thing sucks!!!!)
I am so thankful with my diagnosis. I'm supposed to take about 4 weeks off of Zumba.... Ummmmm...... I plan to take 1-2 weeks off and then go back and do it really, really lightly. I can just walk through the steps... NO JUMPING! I promise!!! I really can do it lightly. It's just such a fun dance class.
The good thing, also, is the doctor (let's call her Dr. Sports) wants me to start riding an exercise bike a lot to help strengthen my vastus intermedius....(part of my quad). I think we'll get an exercise bike for the house. They are pretty inexpensive and I think I'd rather do my 15 minutes to 1/2 hour on the bike here at home. I think having the bike here at home, in front of the tv, will increase the chances that I'll do it nearly every day. I'll go back to see Dr. Sports in 4-6 weeks to make sure all is going well with my knees.
Whew! I feel much better today.... Yesterday was an exhausting, worrisome day, and today was a relief! Hope every one is having a great day!
Monday, August 10, 2009
I just kind of want to pack it in for the day...
I have an appointment tomorrow with a sports medicine doctor. We'll know more then.
2. After said play date (see #1), Three-a got very upset because I was going to work. She went home, ate and then threw up everywhere. Twice. Ugh. We'll know more tomorrow as to whether this was illness throw-up or whether this was just upset, hot and tired throw-up.
3. I am tired... Three-a woke me up at 1:45 am and I couldn't go back to sleep. At around 4 am, I finally managed to go back to sleep...
Yea, it kind of sounds like I should just go home doesn't it?
Saturday, August 08, 2009
Great Blog!
Friday, August 07, 2009
blog while my arms still work
I haven't really done weight training before. I do weights at the end of my aerobics class and push ups, but I know I need to do more. When I was working with the trainer he was surprised at how little weight training I've done. He said for as little as I've done I have good muscular definition. I do push ups, I told him. He didn't think that push ups would account for all the definition. I told him I lift 3 little girls all the time... I stop lifting them when they get to be 40 pounds, but it's a lot of lifting. He didn't think that could do it, but he's never been a MOM, so how can he truly know? Moms do a LOT of lifting. I know I'm a lot stronger from all the little girl carrying (and all the equipment you need for kids....).
He showed me 12 (I think) exercises. Some with free weights and some with machines. Let's see we did chest, back, biceps and triceps and we did three exercises for each so that is 12. I remember most of it, and could probably show you, but I can't write it yet. I don't have all the words. He made me a little chart, so at least I have that at the gym to use. Maybe I should type it up. Hrm. Maybe.
He took it kind of easy on me, not heavy weights, as he wanted me to learn correct form. Despite the light weights, I will be sore tomorrow. I guess they weren't *that* light. 15 to start and then he figured 10 would make it so I could concentrate on the moves better and then we went down to 7.5 and then down again to 5 at the end. I was working hard and my muscles were shaking. I am sure I'll be a little sore (in a good way!) tomorrow.
I had hoped I could get it in 3 visits with him, and feel comfortable with weights, but I think 6 is more reasonable for me to really get it.... Or maybe maybe I can get it in 4.... We'll do legs and abs next time. I imagine I'll feel a little more confident about my legs than arms, but we'll see. I work with a friend* (after Zumba) who has worked with TG before and she'll help me get the right form too.
*It's great, I've made some friends at Zumba. I really like K (the person I do weights with). I talk with S, B, L, and P a lot too. We have a lot of Zumba-love in the room at Zumba. It's such a great, fun class!
Thursday, August 06, 2009
Fashion Crisis....
I don't know what to do. I think I just have to "step back" and ignore it.
The situation: She wanted to wear her ballet outfit to gymnastics. Fine, I agreed. I told her that if she didn't listen to her teacher she'd have to change into her OLD gymnastics outfit. She agreed. When she got there she decided she didn't want to wear the ballet outfit after all and she wanted her gymnastics outfit. I had forgotten to pack the old gymnastics outfit. I had used it as a threat, not as a reward, but she had decided she wanted it and all HELL broke loose. (Oh the screaming.)
I explained what had transpired to her teacher and left after about 10 minutes of twoK throwing a fit. I couldn't deal with it. I realize I forgot to pack it, but good grief, I didn't think she'd WANT to wear it. Next time, I will NOT suggest a change of clothing. Or, I will require HER to pack her own changes of clothing.
At first, I was overwhelmed by "what do I do?" But now, I realize that I do need to turn the problem and the solution over to HER. I was probably a little to blame this morning, since I FORGOT..... but I won't do it anymore. I am going to put her in charge....She decides what to wear and she is responsible for packing any changes of clothing. If she forgets, she deals. I will not be responsible. Sound reasonable to you?
She's 5. She's having fashion crises already.
Yes, I realize how silly this is in the scheme of things, but she doesn't. (Give me strength!)
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
One issue
I *think* I might need to have our n3nny come early a couple of days a week so I can get some of this precious time. She doesn't mind mornings (so she says) and she could get the girls ready for school.... Hrmmm... I need to keep this in mind as I think about the schedule.
*No, I don't mean I like 7:30 am, but I mean that this process of some ME time to think early in the morning is ESSENTIAL for me to be a productive human.
End of Summer
I have to
1) Figure out Fall extracurricular activities
2) Figure out new nanny schedule so I can a) get my work done and b) volunteer in twoK and oNe's classes.
3) Work on all the stuff I need to do for work. Yesterday's sense of peace and "not being behind" at work is ALL gone. I just went through a proposal we sent to a client. I'm not the lead on the project, but apparently I should have been paying closer attention to the project. We are supposed to have an insane amount of stuff done by 9/30. There is no way we can manage to do it.
Next week, we will have to determine what is realistic now. I am officially NO LONGER BORED. I should know better than to say "I am feeling a touch of boredom..." I am now, stressed. Good times....(I actually don't like to be bored, but I don't like feeling totally stressed either. I am sure when the leader of the project comes back, we'll make a good game plan and it will be okay.
Okay! And we're off....
Me grumpy
2. If you want your son to attend gymnastics camp then send him in and leave. Do NOT try to reason with him. He will be fine. LEAVE. You are teaching him if he whines he can get away with whatever he wants. Oh, great. You just let him skip because he was whining. The lesson he just learned will NOT seve him well in life. When he fails in his college classes, it is all your fault Mr. TenderheartedDad--he learned to whine and get away with it from YOU.
3. I tried morning gymnastics camp this week, and I hoped it would help us adjust to school. Instead, the morning camp only confirms how much we hate mornings and how painful they are.
4. I am mad at me. I just violated rule number 1 of parenting. In my sleep deprived state, I made a threat to twoK that I didn't really mean. Now I have to follow through. I think I came up with a satisfactory loophole, but I am very mad at myself--why did I let her get to me? My grumpy, venomous attitude extends everyone around me.... even to me.
Next up, I will tell you about how the school has already angered me, and school doesn't even start for a couple more weeks.
Sent from my iPhone
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
chugging along
I think I need to think more about [first project that needs some attention] even though there's no money for it. I guess [fav colleague] (:waves to PS) and I will be doing that soon as we work on a new idea. That will be exciting. Okay, whew... I have a plan. [Fav colleague] is out this week and I miss her. I missed her for her 3 week trip earlier this year and now I miss her again.
Got the MRI results... No change! Woo! No change in 9 years is super. I am thrilled. I hope 20 years go by before I worry again. (I figure I ought to double the time between MRIs.) The neurologist wants to see if I have carpal tunnel as well as residual numbness from the demyelination. He'll do an EMG. I won't do that test until the girls go back to school. Before school starts, we have my brother visiting, doctor's appointments and n3nny's vacation. It's going to be a little busy. (Note to self, be glad you're not teaching this fall.)
I'll be busier soon I imagine. I'm trying to enjoy this week where I have enough work to keep my time all covered, but not so much that it's crazy. (Note to self, ENJOY this week, it doesn't happen often.)
I keep toying around with Zumba training. I <3 Zumba. Today was a fun class. What I can't decide is, Do I love Zumba so much I want to teach it or Do I just love taking Zumba from S____ (my teacher) and being in a Zumba class. If I taught Zumba, I couldn't be like S_____. She's way out of my league. Would I be happy teaching Zumba like me, or would I always feel like I was short-changing my students. I think I could be a fun Zumba teacher, but I wouldn't be S_____. Also, do I want to work as hard as I'd need to to teach Zumba, or do I want to just take some time and relax.... Believe it or not, I'm leaning towards not being insane and relaxing. (Am I feeling okay????)
Other news.... I might be seeing a good friend from college who I haven't seen since before I graduated. He was a year ahead of me... we were best buddies my sophomore year, but then we drifted a bit apart my junior year. I was dating someone he didn't like (he was right... it was EVIL Boyfriend... I should have listed to him), but I didn't agree back them. It will be fun to see him and how he's doing.