Wean.... Part 9

According to this search thingymajig, I have written 8 other posts talking about weaning.

(NOTE, sometimes the search thingy says I've only written 1 post, but I have written at least 8 others. Maybe more. The search thingy does say Beta, but really, Blogspot is owned by GOOGLE, so you'd think they could do search right.)

I want K (26 months) to wean, but I am also sad when I think it might be happening too.

Yesterday (Sunday) she didn't nurse. I was happy and sad. We were very busy. We went to the Zoo! (It was LOTS of fun. If I get time I'll write more about that.) This morning, the first thing she did when she woke up was ask to nurse. Again mixed feelings. I was happy and sad. More happy than sad, but also wondering if she will ever wean. She will. Logically I know that.

I pretty much did child-led weaning with N when she weaned. N was 15 months when she weaned. She just wasn't ever into nursing. N LOVED food. From her first taste of rice cereal, she loved all food. I just had my husband go get N up for a couple of mornings and then we were done. N never asked to nurse again. Well, not until K was born, and she decided she wanted to nurse since her new little sister was, bu that was 13 months later, so it doesn't count. Her wanting to nurse then was sibling rivalry. So N was easily weaned.

K, however, has never been into food. It took until she was 8 months before I could get her to eat a few things. She loved to nurse. Since I was pregnant with T I had to work hard to get her to eat other foods because my body was working on nourishing T too. K became an okay eater, but has never liked fruit or veggies. I feel good that she gets some nourishment from me. I know my milk is very good for her.

Since I had T (now almost 11 months), K has been loving nursing. I want to have K be okay with weaning, and she's clearly not ready. She only nurses 1 or 2 times a day. She loves it. It's good for her. She's not that old. She's older than I ever expected that I would have a kid nurse, but she's not that old.

Yes, K talks, and she asks for nursing and we discuss, but she also is still a baby. I think some of my mixed feelings come from the fact that ours is not a breastfeeding culture. If it were, I would see other women nursing their older toddlers, but I don't. I don't worry about what others think, because really it's not any of their business. I don't think very many people know I nurse K. Occasionally I tell another Mom, and I do so with pride. Pride that my body made it through a pregnancy and that my toddler still nurses. But part of me wishes she'd wean. I wish I didn't have that part. She will when she is ready.

Because I got pregnant so quickly after K was born, I felt guilty that she didn't get to be "my baby" for very long. She became a big sister so quickly. Now I want to give her a chance to make some decisions about being a baby or being a big girl. When she snuggles with me and nurses I don't feel mixed feelings. I just feel like her Mom. That's nice. For my own sake, I'm going to concentrate on that. She will wean when she is ready. She will be my nursling until then.