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I am exhausted. Tonight, K (3.5) kept telling me, "You look exhausted, Mommy." Yup, thanks. There's more coming at you about today later, but I'm too tired. You'd be tired too if you'd spent most of the days in tears. I am such a mess.

I can't believe my friend is gone. She's gone. How could this be possible? She's supposed to be reading my blog and we're supposed to be finding time to get together.... And complaining about some of the work we have to do, and ... YOU KNOW... REGULAR STUFF. This is just not right.

Today, I went to the doctor. It was just the annual check-up. In the last year, I have "officially" lost 7 pounds (without dieting!). It was great seeing my doctor. She was very sweet. She talked with me about a friend she lost, in a manner similar to the situation I have just experienced. She said two years later, for her, it's still hard. She talked with me about some other things. She asked me if I was going to be 39 on my next birthday. I looked at her stunned and said, "Good grief, I hope I'm not going to be that old, let me do some math." After some very difficult calculations, it turns out I AM going to be that old. How did this happen???? Thirty-nine sounds significantly older to me than 38. Why is that? It's interesting, I found turning 29 much harder than turning 30 was. Now, 39 sounds very old to me. Maybe 40 won't be too bad.

Given this aging thing, and my quest to get past my mere mortal status, I have a new idol....Jack. He is very amazing. Because of him, I'm making it a goal to work out more, lift more weights, and eat better. I'll write more about Jack later. Tired now.

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