Sense-making

My friend is gone. I am trying desperately to give meaning to this horrible, horrible loss. I am overwhelmed. I have lost all efficiency. I am struggling. I am usually a very rational, fairly efficient, passionate person. I am not sure what or who I am now.

Part of what's really hard is this person, who is now gone, was one of the people I used as a sounding-board for understanding my identity. She is gone now. I don't have her perspective any more. I knew her well enough to know how she thought, and what she would say, but it was nice having her confirm it in our conversations. Now, unfortunately, I won't have her reinforcing my understanding of how she thought anymore. I will have to guess what she would say.... I will have to guess what the answer is. Over time, my guesses will probably deviate from what she would have said.

I am very, very sad. We lost a very special person.

I don't blog about other people very much on the blog. I don't feel it's my place to tell their stories. If you look in my "friend" category, she appeared a great deal. This card was from her. She was very special to me.

I miss her.



(To learn about the title see this entry.)

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