28/29 months

I started writing this a month ago. It's all still true, but K is now 29 months. I anticipate what I've written below will be the norm for the next 3 or 4 more months. (Please Give Me Strength to make it through!)

Miss K is 28 months. K is the same age now as N was when K was born. N was sooooo difficult when K was born. I thought N's behavior was because of K's birth. Now I'm starting to wonder if it wasn't just because of the age. (No, no...I am sure a new little sister had to have made it harder for N. K rocked poor N's world!)

K throws fits and is so disagreeable. She's always been obstinate, but in a sweet way--now it's just in a mulish sort of way. She screams, she kicks, she hits, and she has a trump card that scares me.

K's sensitive gag reflex has allowed for her to get away with some things that N never was allowed to get away with and I think because of this K's more difficult and less cooperative than N was at this age. I ran a tight ship with N and she rarely got away with anything. K used to get away with more because of the gag reflex. I am getting stricter though because K's sensitive gag reflex is getting less sensitive it seems. She can't cry and throw up as easily as she could a year ago. For this, we are very thankful. (VERY VERY VERY!) She's been trying to scream and throw up, but knock wood, it hasn't worked lately!

I think recently I wrote something like, "Two isn't so bad the second time around." I take it back. It is bad. The only good thing is that I understand that behavior changes and that it will get better so for the most part, I'm more patient and in a better place since I am not pregnant or with a newborn (as I was when N was 2). I also have more parenting tricks up my sleeve.

One thing I tend to do (bad Mommy) is try to bribe K to be better. It always worked with N (and may explain why she is the way she is....e.g., expecting things when she is good). But when it's night time and you're tired, it's easy to try a bribe. (If you put on your diaper we can have some ice cream.) Or even a threat. (If you don't cooperate, you won't get to wear your favorite pjs.) Bribes (or threats) don't work on K. They never have. This forces me to quit being lazy try other (better parenting) techniques.

My wonderful husband (MWH) favors the "repeat why you think the kid is crying until she stops" technique as praised by Harvey Karp. MWH has had good success with that technique. I've used a few times and it does work pretty well. What I find is that the "repeat" technique will calm K down enough and then I can usually re-direct her attention.

In addition to this age being hard, and logic not being present at all, K has given up her naps. If she naps, she doesn't go to bed until around 11 am or even midnight and then she doesn't sleep so well and gets up around 7 or 8 am. If she doesn't nap she's usually passed out by 9 or 10 pm and sleeps until at least 9 am. If she's just exhausted, I'll let her sleep for 1 hour during the day. I don't mind cat naps in the car.

K and N are so different. It's hard as a parent not to compare your children. N was always so full of energy that she exhausted me. K doesn't have the same high level of energy. However, she's got a more fiery conviction to her nature than N did. She yells more. She talks back more. She hits more. She is just fiery. She doesn't run off like N did. She stands still occasionally. She is very coordinated and I don't worry about her being a spaz and hurting herself like I worried about N.

One big difference between N and K is that N could soothe herself and in fact, she needed to calm herself down. She needed time in her crib to calm herself down. She would not calm down if I were around. In the last day (today Sunday 10/15) I have learned that K actually needs to be held tightly until she calms down. Otherwise she just keeps getting angrier. It seems that holding her soothes her. (The opposite of N! N seems to need her space.) You learn one set of tricks with your first and then you have to learn a whole different set with your second.

K is still so darn cute and so darn sweet sometimes it floors me. She's also very smart and is starting to get more and more into letters, and the sounds they make. She loves her gymnastics class. She loves dressing like a princess. She loves all things princess.

I am a little embarrassed about how much she likes princesses, but they make her so happy, so I don't worry about it. She really really loves Cinderella. She calls herself Cinderella. She calls me "step mother." I don't like that. We keep talking about how the step mother in Cinderella is mean, and that I am her Mommy and not mean. She agrees, but then she still calls me step mother. Oh well. It will pass.

She talks about her fairy godmother all the time. She calls our nanny her fairy godmother.

She also say that I am "Jasmine the Princess," N is "Sleeping Beauty," my friend DM is "Snow White," her daughter L is
"Pocahontas," T is "Ariel" and MWH is "Belle." MWH just loves being called a princess. (Heh!) When N was K's age she was in to "Thomas the Tank Engine trains." I was Toby and my car was named Toby. MWH was Gordon and N was James. N LOVED James. I think MWH preferred being a train to a princess.

Today K decided that she wanted to take ballet. I signed N up for ballet lessons as soon as she was old enough. N really didn't like them. I do think K will like dance. She will love the outfits! She is calmer than N was, and very serious and studious sometimes and I think that will help too. Since I'm a dancer, I am excited at the thought of having a little dancer. I don't want to force it on her though but I think she'll love it! I told her when she was 3 we could start ballet lessons. She was excited.

K is still nursing once or twice a day. She also continues to be the amazing self toliet training toddler. We've done a little to encourage this endeavor that she started herself on, but nothing like what we were trying when N was this age. She's really far along for the effort we've put in (hardly any). N was just starting to train at 29 months and then pretty much out of diapers (even at night) by the time she was 2 years 9 months. Wow. I won't know what to do with myself if in 5-ish months we only have one kid in diapers. That would be amazing.

K is amazing and this age is challenging, but she's so cute!