In oNe's class, fourth grade, they played a little game at their holiday party. The game was "pass the present." The rules were to pass around a present to music and when the music stopped the kid holding the present got to unwrap a layer of wrapping paper on the present. There were multiple layers of wrapping paper. Then the music started up and they passed again until the music stopped, whoever was holding unwrapped... rinse, repeat until all the layers of wrapping paper were removed. When the last child unwrapped the last layer, that child found a box full of candy and had the option to keep it all to him or herself or the option to share (there was more than enough for the class) with the whole class.
You can see where this is going, right? The child who unwrapped the last layer on the present chose to keep all the candy to herself.
The teacher and all the moms at the party almost fell over. The kids tried to encourage sharing, but the child stood resolute. She wouldn't share. It was hers, she claimed.
I don't know this child, and I don't know the family situation, but our school has many well-off families and I doubt the child wanted for "stuff." I am shocked at that child's response. I don't know what her parents would have thought if they would have been there.
What would you do if it were your child?
My immediate reaction is that if one of my children ever chose to NOT share, I would be so embarrassed. I think I would have my child buy in a comparable present for the class (with her OWN money) and take it back with an apology. (Did I mention I'd be embarrassed?????)
Who knows if this child will tell her parents that she should have shared with her friends, but chose not to share. She might just say she won the candy at school. Who knows, who knows.
So. Sad. What are your thoughts?
3 comments:
Ugh! I truly hope my child would share of her own accord without my presence. What did the teacher say? I think as the teacher I would have said it was meant to be shared and basically made her share it. She needs to learn it somewhere!
Given the child was told that she had the choice of keeping it or sharing it forcing her to share seems totally wrong to me. She had a choice. She made a choice.
She's old enough, that if she is socially normal, she would know sharing is the 'right' choice so she probably had a reason that made sense to her to keep it. Maybe she feels she gets less candy that the others in her class so is making up for a deficit, maybe she plans to share it with a different group (like her family), there are lots of possibilities.
If the teacher wanted everyone to get a candy she should have put a candy in every layer, if the teacher expected the child who won to share she should have made that the rules.
If it was my child I'd ask her what she intended to do with the candy and if she had a good plan I'd share that with her teacher and classmates.
Given the child was told that she had the choice of keeping it or sharing it forcing her to share seems totally wrong to me. She had a choice. She made a choice.
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