The whole family was crying

On Monday, twoK's sweet little kitty took a turn for the worse. It was time. MWH and I could have just taken him to the vet and he could have "died" while we were there, but telling the girls that story just didn't seem right. I didn't know how we were going to tell them, but I wanted to be honest with them about the situation.

MWH and I took twoK down to see the little C-cat. I asked twoK if she thought he was getting better, and she said, "Oh, yes!" I had to gently explain all the things that showed me he wasn't getting better, that, in fact, he was getting worse. We all cried. She didn't want him to die. I kept explaining how none of us wanted him to die. I also let her know that we needed to take him to the vet because he was going to die and that if we took him he wouldn't have as much pain. We all cried some more and talked about how this could be a possibility. twoK did NOT want to "kill" her cat. (Her words.) After about 20 minutes of talking with twoK, we brought oNe in and explained everything again. We all cried again.

We brought Three-a in, and she didn't really get it, but she cued off her sisters' pain and anger and started to throw a fit and cry. It was at this point that the whole family was in the room with C-cat and crying. We calmed Three-a down and got her out of there because she wasn't helping the situation and she wasn't working through it.

twoK decided she'd go to the vet with us. She wanted to make sure we were making the right decision and she wanted to talk to the vet. I agreed she could come. oNe wanted to come, too, but I didn't think oNe would be helpful so I didn't let her come. While we were gone, oNe started making a memorial poster of C-cat for twoK. It kept oNe busy and helped her.

twoK went to the vet and we talked to the vet. twoK was very sad, but she heard from the vet how sick C-cat was. When the vet came in, she pulled his ear back. On the part that doesn't have fur, you could see that the skin was white-yellow. Poor guy was severely anemic and in liver failure. I knew that was possible, and I had seen his gums go paler, but seeing the color of his ear made us know for sure it was the right time--not too soon. He was barely eating, not really able to jump, and had partially lost control of his bowels. It was time. He wasn't really "being a cat" any more. He was trying to be a cat, but his body was failing him.

We (twoK, MWH and I) spent a few minutes with him and then twoK decided she wanted to go out of the room. I asked if she wanted me or her Daddy to go with her. She wanted me. We went to the car and she wanted me to tell stories of my pets when I was little. I obliged. She cried a little when she asked if we'd get another kitty as she was worried that this would happen again. I explained how uncommon this disease is and how we'd try to get a kitty who was even lower risk for this (over age 3). She said she didn't know if she wanted another kitty. I said it was fine to not make a decision for a while and to just think about C-cat. She kept asking what she was going to do without C-cat. It was very hard.

Explaining euthanasia to the girls was very hard, but it was the right thing to do. I didn't want to lie to them. I haven't lied to them in the past on other hard stuff and I don't want to start now. One nice thing, twoK told me, "I liked it when the whole family was down in the room crying." It validated her feelings and honored C-cat. We all loved the C-cat. He was so lovely. You can see pictures of him on "the other blog."