time

I'm so confused about time right now. I'm still trying to do a little work while I'm visiting Dad and work is in a different time zone. I'm constantly translating what time is it here versus there. Then, here, at night it's getting dark REALLY early. Maybe it's not that early but when you think it's earlier than it is (my own home time zone is earlier) versus what time it is HERE, it's really confusing.

Are you confused?

Moving on and a warning that you should STOP now if you don't want to read depressing stuff.

My family is full of engineers and researchers and we all HATE how powerless we are to help Dad. We feel there should be something we can do, but there isn't. Yesterday, we spoke with the doctor and all agreed to something... Today, we learned some different (better) news... Now we're re-thinking and trying to figure out new things. Oh, the roller coaster. I feel like I kind of know what needs to occur, but we need to make sure it's right. My Dad has to agree too. We're working on it.

Wow, all of the above was written before 2 pm and now it's already almost 11 pm here. Dad had an okay day... In some ways a little better than yesterday (only very slight) and in some ways, maybe not as good. I don't know. The family almost has a plan. We'll see if the plan stays the same tomorrow or not. Actually, we did kind of make a couple of back-up plans, so most likely things won't change too much. What is left to be determined is the timing of everything. Oh, geez, this is hard. Dad will periodically cry and get very upset that he's going to die.

A friend just lost a grandmother and he was telling me how his grandmother met death very stoically. She never cried nor fussed. She just quietly said she wanted no more treatment, went home on hospice, and then died about 4 days later. I'm glad Dad can tell us how he's feeling and how he's scared, but it's so sad. He doesn't want to miss out on anything. He knows life will go on without him and it makes him sad. The good news is that Dad doesn't have much pain. He is uncomfortable sometimes, but not in "pain." There is a difference.

We spoke to two hospice organizations today. We're tired. Dad's more tired, but it is hard for everyone. At this particular moment, I'm very glad to have siblings. They are super.