Thursday, November 15, 2007

What I learned today...

Grief is not depression.

There is no timetable.

There is nothing one can do to ease the pain.

I'm not supposed to grieve alone.

I am not supposed to be too independent during this time. I am supposed to let others help me.

The sudden, unexpected nature of my friend's death may make it a harder grieving process.

The fact that I didn't get to see my friend for dinner when I was supposed to because our nanny quit without notice bothers me a great deal. Since I have unfinished business my grief may take longer to resolve. It was good unfinished business with my friend, but I feel I had many things I wanted to do with her. All of the things we were supposed, and didn't get the opportunity to do are really weighing on me. (My friend was very understanding why I couldn't make dinner that night, and we planned to have dinner soon, but for some reason having not gotten to have dinner with her makes me feel like I failed her as a friend. Sigh.)

I learned the things listed above from this web site.



I realized yesterday, if my friend were alive, I wouldn't be thinking about her this much. This made me cry.

My supervisor thinks I should see a grief counselor. As is usually the case, I agree with him.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am with your supervisor. Sometimes we need a little outside help to work through the ginormous amount of information our brains (and hearts!) need to process during stressful times. Let me know what you decide. I hurt for you friend. The dinner bit bothers me a great deal too. :(