At the moment

I remember reading other people's blogs and seeing them say they were having a hard time writing... I didn't understand it, but now I do. That's where I am--having a hard time writing. I can easily write about little things going on, but about the bigger picture, I'm having a hard time.

I'm struggling with not wanting to work so much, but also not wanting to not work. It's all I'm thinking about, and what I want to write about.... But I don't want to write about it because I don't want to whine a lot and bore you all. It shouldn't be that hard of a decision, but it is. Maybe I'll write about it to sort it out in my mind... I've been sorting and sorting since March, but haven't decided what to do.

On another note
This week, I enrolled K (3) and N (5.5) in a gymnastics camp. They go for 3 hours each day. Three hours of bouncing and tumbling goodness. They LOVED yesterday, but I didn't. The camp was not organized and I refused to leave them there by themselves. I didn't get ANYTHING done yesterday. I wasn't happy. I enrolled them in camp so I could work while they had fun. I complained quite a bit to the director yesterday and he promised it would be better today. So far it is a bit better, but I'm not sure if I want to leave or not.

I have my iPhone, my crackberry and my laptop and even access to a free wireless network so I theoretically can work. I'm not comfortable -- I'm sitting on an aluminum bench. The ergonomics person would have a cow if she saw me. Tomorrow, MWH will come and sit with the girls and decide whether he's thinks it's safe to leave them or not. I'm almost good with leaving, but not quite.

It probably doesn't help that Mary Poppins was in a fender-bender with T (almost 2!) yesterday. Everyone is fine, but my fragile Mommy state isn't. Being a Mom requires nerves of steel and I don't seem to have mine right now.

A post about cute little girls coming soon.