I like to work. I enjoy it a great deal. I won't stop, but if I had a choice between working more and working less, which should I choose? Which would I choose?
What if I were working more, but being less crazy (and yes, that might be possible). Would it be possible for me to be less insane doing what I might want to do? (Only DM could potentially answer this one. And even then, maybe she can or can't.)
I just graded an assignment, and one of the questions asked about how much their parents' jobs affected their early lives. The kids who had stay-at-home-moms would always write about how much they loved having their mom their for them... at their beck and call. I'm feeling a wee bit of guilt. I'm there a lot, but there are times when I have to say, "Mommy needs to go work on X. Play with Daddy/Mary Poppins/CSWL." In general, I think this is a good thing, but my students are making me re-think this. Darn students! (Next time I teach the class, I'm changing the question!!)
What do you think? I know a lot of you stay-at-home.... I know a fair amount of you work.... We all make choices. I don't think I'd be a good stay-at-home Mom.... For example, I NEVER pick up toys. If we didn't have Mary Poppins and CSWL 1 and 2, and I were in charge all the time we'd all be buried under toys.
I seem to be lacking a gene for picking up toys. In my defense, I get overwhelmed by the sheer number of toys we have. I also get overwhelmed because if I organize them, they get disorganized in .2 seconds.... And then I feel I should re-organize them. If I kept things picked up, they'd have to be organized, and in a day or two of trying to keep up, you'd find me sitting in a corner rocking. I'm not kidding.
I also really need/like the structure of work. It makes me happy. It gives me the illusion of control and being competent. Children instantly suck those feelings out of you (as do students).
Feel free to comment and offer your thoughts.
4 comments:
I hope you don't mind if I comment again. And sorry that I tend to be long-winded. But, it's an interesting topic.
My mom worked when I was growing up, but she was a minister. She had a lot of flexibility with her schedule during the days. She always drove my sister and I to school, and was always there to pick us up. She made supper every night, but frequently had meetings in the evenings. By that time Dad would be home from work to stay with us.
I don't think that you should feel guilty about working, and here's why. From the sounds of things, Mary Poppins is pretty darn amamzing, and it sounds like your kids love her a lot.
It's important for children to have a strong connection with their parents, but it's also really good for children to have other safe and trusted adults to take an interest in their lives.
If you were a stay-at-home Mom, your children wouldn't have the opportunity to forge strong, caring relationships with other adults.
I have fond memories of days or evenings spent with the babysitter. And I never questioned that my mom would be there if I really needed her.
Your kids know they're important to you. Your kids should know that your work is important to you too. And they should know that there will be a day when their school and work is important to them.
Sometimes not having a mother at your beck and call is a good thing, because it gives the child a chance to figure things out for themselves. As long as they know that if they really need you, you'll be there.
There, that's my 2 cents worth. Sorry again that I ramble so much.
I want to know what you think of my thoughts!
Alice, you can comment all the time. I love it. You comment and thoughts made me feel less guilty... I do want my girls to be independent and if I'm always at their beck and call, will they?
I hope I can show the girls I'm always there for them when they need me... The problem is right now, they ALWAYS need me. They are so little....
I think I'll feel better tomorrow. I'm just exhausted...
I grew up with two sisters and a single mother who worked. We were babysat by family members before and after school, but never felt as though our mother wasn't there for us. I do think it helped us to grow up to be independent women. I wouldn't feel guilty for working one bit.
- A.
In my teens I noticed that all the people I knew who had mothers who still weren't working were boys. I think the mothers of girls had realised that they wanted their daughters to work.
My mother was at home when we were small and started working part time when we were at school. I started coming home to an empty house at 11 or so (now it is illegal in NZ to leave kids home alone until they are 14). The time I spent alone was very precious to me. I loved it - just me, the cat, a glass of milk and a newScientist.
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