Little did I know...

I was looking through my journals to find out the N & K weight stats at 6 months and I ran across this...


I loved being pregnant.
Now that I'm not pregnant, I can't remember anything about what it felt like.
I'm thinking about wanting to have a 3rd baby.
I don't know whether I will be able to or not as I hard problems getting pregnant with #1 and I'm older.

I had problems, and I wish there was no such thing as infertility. Everyone who wants a child should get to have one (or more). Life should be fair.
My husband thinks we should stick with 2.
He doesn't like chaos.
I thrive on chaos so I imagine I'd love having 3.

My little girls crack me up.
I think they are adorable.
I plan to dress them in matching outfits.
I hope they forgive me for this when they are older.


I wrote this in October of 2004 right before I got pregnant with T (#3) on my own without even trying. Little did I know what was coming. I love that my body did it all on its own. I still remember all the pain of trying to get pregnant and not being able to when I was trying for #1. I never thought I'd have a surprise pregnancy. Never ever, never ever. Though I was shocked, I was so happy too.

I have already dressed all 3 in matching outfits. I really hope they forgive me.

Now that I'm not pregnant again, I once again can't remember what it's like to be pregnant even though I have been "in the family way" 27 out of the last 57 months. It's so wild. I remember it way too fondly. The only thing I remember accurately is how worried I was. Pregnancy is such a worrisome time for me. I worry constantly. About things that are very improbable. In my last pregnancy, I was worried about Hanta virus. I couldn't stop worrying about it. I know there is a very very low probability of getting it (there have been less than 400 cases since 1993), and yet, I couldn't stop.

I googled everything about Hanta. I must have done 17,000 web searches. I found an abstract that talks about 5 women who got the disease while pregant. Okay, I'll stop now.

My obsession with Hanta began when a deer mouse made its way into our house. We got rid of him/her, but I was freaked. I have to thank that little deer mouse because s/he opened a can of worms that eventually led to us moving. We didn't move because of the mouse, but because we reconsidered everything and decided with 3 little girls it no longer made sense to live where we were living.

What else should I talk about? (Not today, but future)
K (21 months) update
N (4) update
Our new house remodel (help! I need help with colors!)
Work stuff (exciting!)
How I like to pretend to be Buffy the Vampire Slayer during my aerobics class on kick-boxing songs. (What, don't you?)