Part of the reason (a post in which I ramble all over the place)

Part of the reason I'm so stressed and busy right now is that we have houseguests... I call them houseguests even though they are my parents, because they give me extra work. Most people love it when Mom comes to visit cause she helps and plays "Mom." Not so in my case.

It's not that my Mom doesn't want to help. It's that my parents are a bit lot older than other people who are my age. I'm in my 30's. My parents are now 80 and 85. I'm not adopted. My Mom had a surprise in her mid 40's. That surprise was me. I have brothers who are actually old enough (just barely) to be my parents. When I was growing up, my parents always seemed much older to me than my friends' parents. Now they definitely are. I'm grateful that I can have time with them, but boy am I tired.

Instead of herding the three little ones to the car, I have to herd 5 to the car. I feel terrible my Dad. His walking is very poor right now. He's using a walker and watching him get up and down the 2 steps from the garage into the house is painful and heartbreaking. My Mom is doing really well considering all that she's been through. She broke her hip in January, but she is now walking about as well as she was walking before the break. I'm so thankful. When I saw her in May she was doing pretty well, but a bit slower than she is now.

Even though she's walking pretty well, she's still very frail. She has osteoporosis and her back is quite hunched over. It makes me sad to see how much they have declined in the last 7 years. (I got married 7 years ago and they were actually quite spry (by comparison) to where they are now.) Getting old sucks.

When I read things like this article about older mothers I'm never sure how I feel about the topic. I of course am happy I was born.

However, I always knew that I didn't want to be as old as my mom was when she had me when I had kids so I started in my early 30's. It took a little longer for me to have my first than I wanted (you never know what your fertility will be like before you try), but I am still younger than my Mom was when she had me.

Of course, I would never begrudge someone the chance to have a baby if they desired it (if they were physically able to take care of the child). (My parents were definitely physically able to take care of me.) I realize that some people don't find their spouse till later in life, and that older parents have many advantages over younger ones (e.g., patience and often financial abilities), but they are also faced with disadvantages.

When I had our first daughter, I was sad that I had waited so long, cause I wasn't that old. This reaction surprised me. Suddenly I just wanted to watch her develop, grow and change forever. Watching your kids grow up is the coolest thing. Ever. Before I was 30-ish I wasn't ready for kids. People should be ready for kids 'cause they change everything. (So cliche, but true--in fact, file the whole paragraph under cliche.)

For my whole life, my Mom has always said how much she wished she was younger. She drilled into my head from the time I was very young that she wasn't going to be around much longer and how I should enjoy my time with her. (Note to other Mom's out there, saying this is not the way to make your children enjoy you more... Guilt is never a good thing.)

Anyway, the visit. My parents try. I know they feel bad that they can't do more. My Mom really tries, but she can't bounce or walk with the baby, so therefore she can't hold the baby for very long. She can't chase the toddler as she climbs down from the kitchen table with gooey hands while she's supposed to be eating dinner. She can't pick up and console the 3.75 year old who has lost a toy. She can take care of herself, but watching her shuffle around the kitchen taking 10 minutes to make a cup of tea makes me do it for her--which makes me busier. Having her help me get dinner on the table makes her feel helpful, but makes it go slower because she's in the way and I have to wait for her to move. She wants to help, but it's not always helpful (sort of like when your 3.75 year old helps).

I wish my parents lived closer so that shorter trips were possible. I think I could handle 2-3 days of this pretty easily, but 10 days at an 80 year old pace with 3 little ones is just too much.

I have to thank my husband for being a saint and doing all that he has done to help. Yea, I know, for better for worse, but I feel like I owe him for the last 10 days! (He likes it when I feel this way.)