I made it to our week off in June and it was good for the head. And then, work got weird. I've worked at the same place for a very long time. After many years of chugging along doing GREAT things, there are changes.
I don't know exactly what I'll be doing in a month or two. It could be business as usual, or it could be a change. I'll let you know more as it unfolds. I think that things will work out and end up being better than they are now for my work, but transitions are hard. Though I'm super comfortable with ambiguity, I dislike this state that we're in at work. It's more than ambiguous. I'm trying not to think about it, but it's obviously not working here.
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On the home front, it's been a good summer. twoK danced a lot and made a lot of progress. oNe has ridden horses and helped with summer camp for beginners. Three-a has tried rock climbing (she loves it). They all tried parkour. They all seem to enjoy it. twoK got out of attending science camp because of dancing, but next year, I need to get her into a science camp -- note to self, sign her up for the one that she wants to attend in JANUARY so we can get the June camp.
Next summer, we have to think about college stuff for oNe. I can't believe we're here in our journey. Time flies. I won't go on about how quickly they grow up; I could, but I'll just say, insert EVERY CLICHE about how quickly kids grow here.
We didn't get as much fun cooking done as I would have liked this summer, but maybe we can make some yummy things this weekend.
Other things: We are firmly in the land of teenagers now. I think about development and learning a lot (it's my job). A book I read that I LOVE said if you don't dread the teenage years, you'll have a better experience. I've never dreaded them, really. I've had lots of people tell me how difficult they'd be with 3 girls, but I just kind of laughed with them ('cause what can you say?). I knew they meant well. I have known this stage of life was coming for a while. I have been trying to set up conditions that will allow us to thrive. I worked hard early on in life to establish a good relationship with the girls. I wanted to be their Mom and their friend. But Mom is first.
It is my job to help them navigate the world and make their place in it. I want them to be themselves, but I also want to share my values and beliefs with them. I don't want to constrain them, but I don't want to have kids that are disrespectful or unpleasant. I am happy that so far, I really like the girls. We still have a few more years to go in the adolescent experience, and I think it will get harder before it gets easier, but my goal is to keep being there. In the book I mentioned above, it talks about how during the teen years girls (all teens, really) pull away. That can be hard. But pulling away is what an adolescent is supposed to do. I think the trick is to figure out how much pulling away is normal and how much is too far.
This Mom gig is hard. It's fun, rewarding, messy, ugly, and wonderful all at the same time. oNe is experiencing something right now that she won't talk about. I am trying to use all my SKILLZ to figure out what the problem is. I am trying not to pry, to just hang with her a little, but give her space. Today, we'll watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS) and dance for a while and I hope I can learn a little more.
It could be that she's upset that we have to go out of town for an important family event coming up soon and that she's going to miss a slumber party with some dear friends. It could be that school is starting and summer is ending. It could be just her brain feeling weird about things 'cause there are a lot of changes. It could be that I can't do anything to help, but it feels like if I'm there, doing stuff that she likes with her it will be better.
One more random thought, I love doing physical activities with my girls. I think it really helps with bonding. I dance with oNe and Three-a. I need to start doing a workout class with twoK. New plan for the day, get the girls to figure out some new cooking things that we can do this weekend in addition to BtVS and dance.
Sorry for the post with so many random thoughts ... Know that another one with more random thoughts is probably coming soon.
