Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Ironic

Just yesterday I was saying that I would choose "freeze time" as my super power if I could. This morning I could have put it to good use.

N & K were going down the stairs on their tummies backwards (safer than walking in my opinion) and I was behind them standing clear cause they will run into you if you are in front of them. I'm not sure exactly what happened... Somehow N knocked K ... K sat up and then lost her balance.

Poor little K. I saw her frantically try to catch her balance, and then she fell backwards so she was heading down the stairs on her back. Head first. This is not a good position. At the bottom of the stairs there is a landing of tile. Cold, hard, ugly, light mocha brown tile with unattractive flowers around the edges. Somehow, in the course of 4-5 steps K, amazing, coordinated little K managed to turn herself so that she was going sideways, and she slowed herself down and almost managed to stop, but not quite, but she rolled sideways down that last step on to the cold hard ugly tile. She bonked her head slightly and she cried. Oh, did she cry. But she was ok. She did not land head first. It was truly amazing. She's bonked her own head harder than what she did today when she's tried to stand up under the table not realizing she's too tall to do that anymore.

I was standing on the upper landing holding T, trying to get down the steps to do something, but knowing I was really too far away to do anything. It was awful. It felt like I was moving in slow motion because I was too far to do anything and I had T in my arms. (If I were able to freeze time, I could have stopped her from even bonking her head a little.) I am still thanking K's lucky stars that she was able to turn herself. I shudder to think how hurt she would have been if she couldn't have.

As soon as K hit the bottom, and began crying, N ran and put herself into time out. I was still holding T, but I was down the stairs in milliseconds and managed to also pick up K. I was snuggling her and kissing her. Within a few seconds she was fine and off playing. I was still a mess.

I asked N to come down so I could talk to her and she said, "No, I'm in time out." I told her to come on down that we needed to talk. When she got down, we talked about how from now on there could only be one person going down the stairs at a time and that this is why she needed to be more careful. (N is so unaware of her own body and the space around her.) She agreed to this, and she genuinely felt awful, and she knew she was in trouble, but a few minutes later she runs into K again.

How does one deal with a klutzy oblivious kid aka N? How does one get images of their child lying hurt in a heap at the bottom of the stairs out of their head? (Thankfully these images are only ones I saw flash before my eyes as she was falling and righting herself, not images of actuality.) I am so thankful K is ok. I should go kiss her some more.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Random Thoughts

I recently found a picture of me from about 10 years ago. I remember when the picture was taken... I remember hoping that I didn't look too fat in it. I laughed when I found it because I look pretty darn good in it. I was about 5 pounds heavier than I wanted to be at that time in my life. Now at 20-ish pounds heavier (hey I'm only 5 weeks post partum), I think I look really really good in that picture. I also was 10 years younger and had that youthful glow.

In ten years, I really hope that I don't look back at pictures from this time in my life and think that I look good. That's a really depressing thought! I do not want to be this weight. I will lose all the weight and I will be in shape again. I will be going back to aerobics and my dance class very soon. I am one of those people who actually like to exercise.

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T may be my brunette. N & K were both born with dark hair that promptly turned blonde. T seems to have darker eyebrows than they did (though her eyebrows are fairly non-existant, the few hairs there seem to be darker).


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This afternoon we had a 5 minute rainstorm. It thundered for a quite while before that, but the rain only lasted 5 minutes or so. It seemed anti-climactic.


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I wish I could say f*ck in front of my mother. More importantly, I hope my girls will be able to say f*ck in front of me without hesitation.


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If I had to choose one super power, today I would choose the ability to freeze time. It would really come in handy for work-related things and for Mommy-related things.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Time flies....

Time flies when you're....

Moving... When T was 3 weeks old (last week), we moved.

Chasing 2 toddlers and caring for a newborn. Each day I can go through exactly 3 boxes because of said toddlers and baby. At this rate we'll be unpacked by Thanksgiving.

Looking at other houses to buy. We moved from a house we own to a rental house so we can stage and sell the house we own so we can buy another.

Trying to do some work (that I get paid for) with a 4 week old. I don't know why, but I agreed to do a project that will consume October before T was born. That wouldn't be too bad, but it does involve getting prepared for the project starting NOW. That's ok, I like my work better than unpacking boxes and it gives me an excuse not to unpack. Maybe I should revise my goal of getting unpacked by Thanksgiving and change it to New Years and then maybe we'll have our real house by then.

All is well here, but a little crazy busy. Surprisingly, we are getting approximately 7-8 hours of sleep a night. T is a wonderful sleeper (in bed with Mommy and Daddy) and nurses well during the night (barely disturbing me). I love the co-sleeping thing. If I couldn't do that, I couldn't function!

I'll add more details about everything that is going on soon.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Maternity Clothes

Today I packed up my maternity clothes and sent them to GoodWill. As I do with many emotional things, I did this really fast and tried not to think about it too much. It's better for me that way... I don't like to over analyze, or over memorialize or make things larger than they are.

Even though we're "done," I am a little sad that I won't be pregnant again. It's not that I want to be pregnant again, cause I don't, but it is the end of an era. I have been pregnant 27 of the last 52 months and thinking about or trying to get pregnant for about 2 years prior to that (due to reduced fertility). That's 1/6th of my life.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Two more outings

Ok... have to write about our outing last night and this afternoon. They were both mostly successful! Last night we went for dinner (pasta), to the bookstore, and then ice cream. It was fun. The girls (all three) were very good! N and K loved the ice cream and were so much fun.

This afternoon we went for lunch and K was totally into her grilled cheese and french fries and it's always nice when she's eating instead of wanting to run around the restaurant. (At dinner last night, she finshed her food quickly and wanted to run around the restaurant. I distracted her by letting her play with make-up from my purse and my keys--fortunately we were far enough away from the car that the remote didn't lock/unlock it!)

T slept through both outings... I somehow think that outings right now are easier than they are going to be in a year.

One thing, both my husband and I feel, is that on our outings we are both on high alert making sure that the girls are happy and that all is going well. It's a little stressful. On the other hand, when we stay home all the time, the girls get bored and whiney. It's important to get them out of the house! Unlike their parents, the Internet just isn't enough for them.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Growing baby

T had her 2-week well-baby check on 9/1. I can't believe she's over 2 weeks old! She's grown 3/4's of an inch in length and is 1 pound heavier than her birth weight. The breast milk is working! I remember when N (baby #1) was born. I had no clue how she could possibly be growing or still existing only by nursing... I was always so worried about how much she was eating! If I could have figured out how to put a flowmeter on my breasts, I would have.

Since I could not figure out how to install a flowmeter, I did the second best thing. I kept a record of when she ate, the duration of each feeding, which side she, when she had poopy and wet diapers, and when she slept for about 50 days. I also weighed her as often as possible. When it became clear that indeed she was growing, and growing rather fast (she gained 1 lb 2 oz. in the first 2 weeks) then I felt better. I also did a "weigh, feed, weigh" (you weigh the baby first, then feed her, then weigh immediately after feeding for an estimate of how much milk they got in the duration of nursing. With N she got over 3 ounces in ~8 minutes when she was 3 weeks old).

With baby #2 (K) I wrote things down for a couple of days just so I could get a better sense of what she was doing. I didn't do "weigh feed weigh" with her, but she gained a lot of weight quickly (13 ounces in her first 13 days of life). This time, I wrote down about 4 things when we were in the hospital for the nurses (cause they were getting mad at me for not recording).

With K, I learned that babies grow even if you don't record all the stats on them. All 3 of my girls have been fairly similar in eating habits. K was a great eater, but not a big sleeper. N was a great eater and slept a LOT for the first 4 months. She's also always been a great napper. At 3.5 she's just now giving up her 2-3 hour nap. (It's just happened in the last couple of weeks too. It's ok she still will take rest time and play quietly in her room or watch a video.)

T is a sleepy baby so far and reminds me a lot of N on the sleep front. On the nursing front they are a bit different. N was a very efficient nurser and never comfort nursed (ok, maybe she did 3 times). T is a cluster nurser and more of a comfort nurser than N or K. K was mostly efficient, but liked to comfort nurse more than N. (But a frog would like to comfort nurse more than N did.) K is still nursing. I mentioned that I would talk about tandem nursing (aka boob talk) at some point.... I guess I might as well now.

When I found out I was pregnant with T, K was only 7.5 months old. To say I was surprised that I was pregnant was an understatement! (More on this in another post.) I had previously decided that I would nurse K till she was 2 (or as long as she wanted to keep nursing--whichever came first). I was very sad and worried that I wouldn't be able to keep nursing the entire pregnancy. I felt awful. I worried she wouldn't get breastmilk for the first year.

I got the book Adventures in Tandem Nursing, and it helped me realize that if my milk supply kept up, I could nurse K through the pregnancy. I had been a cow previous to getting pregnant. I'd even donated milk to the Mother's Milk Bank in my area. (Over 150 ounces!)

I tried to keep up a milk supply for her to drink when I was at work by faithfully pumping every morning. I managed to get about 3-4 ounces a day till K was about 10 months and then I started having problems pumping--it became too painful and futile. Given my faithful pumping routine though, I did have enough pumped milk to make it till she was almost 12 months (thank goodness I don't work full time).

She kept nursing a lot and I'd actually bring her into bed with me and let her nurse all that she wanted up until she was 1 year. Nursing seemed to be keeping up my milk supply enough (she'd have milk driping out of her mouth till she was almost a year). I did experiment with formula when she turned 11 months old (because of not being able to pump any more). She hated formula. We decided to give her soy milk when she was about 11.5 months old during the day when I was at work. When I was home she could nurse, but when I was gone she needed something. I was happy when she hit a year old.

After she turned one, she kept drinking soy and also started cow's milk, and kept nursing. Unfortunately, I started having lots of Braxton Hicks contractions when she nursed just as I entered the 3rd trimester. I decided to cut down the nursing to just once a day--a morning session for only about 10-15 minutes (she used to do 45 minutes plus). Given all the BH contractions, I hoped that when I was over 37 weeks that nursing would help me go into labor.... As I got closer to my due date I decided to let her nurse as long as she wanted in the morning. But alas, it didn't send me into labor. Finally when I was 40 weeks and 4 days (according to my doctor) I went into labor in the morning when K was nursing. It was really intense and after 10 minutes or so and contractions every 2 minutes, I decided I had to stop her from nursing or else I might have the baby at home.

Anyway, since the new baby (T), K has been nursing 1 - 2 times a day. She loves to wake up and come snuggle and then nurse. She also likes to nurse after her afternoon nap before dinner.

Probably the most interesting thing I learned from nursing through the pregnancy was that as you get close to the due date, you get more colostrum and less milk. Because of this, the toddler you are nursing will start to have "new baby" runny poop. We still have some of this happening now since I still have a lot of colostrum for T after her birth.

I don't know if I'm technically tandem nursing. I don't actually nurse both T and K at the same time. Mostly because K only nurses a couple of times a day. Partly because I don't want two babies attached to me at once. The amazing thing is how much K will drink in the morning... She will empty me on one side in one session in about 10 minutes or less. It will take T 3-4 nursing sessions to empty the other side.

I give K one side and then the other side to T for the rest of the morning. By afternoon I'll switch to feeding T from the side K drained. I think it's working ok.

OK.... If anyone came here for boob talk that was more stimulating than this, sorry... This is the boob talk that rules my life.

Friday, September 02, 2005

Necrotizing flesh

T's stump fell off today.... It started bleeding a bit on Wednesday night and it smelled awful. I tried to play cool and not worry too much since she's baby #3 and since we were going to see her doctor on Thursday morning for her 2-week check. Dr. O said that the stump looked fine and that it was probably going to fall off soon. She said the smell was just necrotizing flesh... and that it was fine.... Is it just me, or does it seem wrong to put the words necrotizing flesh and fine together?

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Just another family with screaming kids in Target

Encouraged by our first successful outing on Monday, we decided to try another one yesterday. Lunch went fairly well, but the trip to Target was one of screaming children. The two older ones were in the side-by-side double stroller. For a while, N was screaming how she didn't want K touching her. (Even though it's annoying, it's so funny to me that they do this--so cliche. K starts screaming in the car if N touches her car seat. N starts screaming if K touches her in the stroller.)

After that, we had little T start fussing because she was starving. I could have left the store and taken her out to the car to feed her, but I decided that sitting down in the baby section would be easier and faster. So I did. After having nursed 3 babies, I'm pretty good at being discreet. It was kind of funny though because as soon as I sat down to nurse her, the baby section seemed to have more people in it. Most of them looked to be grandmotherly types buying clothes.

More screaming ensued when we were trying out a double stroller. First K was screaming because she was bored. Then we put K in the double stroller to see how she fit with the car seat in it. She was happy. Then N started whining that she needed to ride in the stroller too. After testing it, neither N or K wanted to go back in our double stroller. More screaming.

Yup that was us.... The family with too many screaming kids at Target. I feel like we're going to be a circus act where ever we go. At least they are cute.