End of an era (AGAIN)

Recently, N (4) learned to open baby gates and that was the end of one era.

We're approaching the end of another era... Miss N now understands how to spell some words. And she knows how to replace words in sentences with the word she spells... The other night she said, "We need to get the D-A-D to fix the new house." (She was talking about the remodel.) I was shocked and cracking up. Right now she only knows how to spell a handful of words, but soon she'll know more. Yikes.

Think she'll understand pig latin?

I wonder and other things...

I wonder how many sunglasses I would need to always end up with one in my car. I currently have 2, but often I don't have any as I get in my car. Usually it's taken me 10-15 minutes to get the car all packed so going back for my sunglasses is the last thing I want to do.

Sometimes after I get the girls in the car and all strapped into their carseats and find all the blankets and toys that need to go with us (to prevent whining), I shut the doors to the car and stand outside it and take a deep breath. I always wonder if it would be a bad thing to run back in the house and do some work. Of course I never do, but I do wonder.

When I am alone in my car, I often find that I end up listening to the music my girls like. It's kind of funny to realize you've been driving for 10 minutes listening to Thomas the Tank Engine tunes when you could have been listening to whatever you wanted. I'm so good at tuning those songs out that I don't even realize they are on sometimes.

One Reason

The previous two posts are one big reason I keep a blog. The contrast. Just amazing. 'nough said.

Written on 11/9/05

Dinner with 5 is not a good idea...

Especially when 3 are under 4. I don't know why I thought it would be a good idea to go out... When we got to dinner at 7 -ish, K (18 months) was too tired to eat and N (3.75) wanted to take the Elmo figurine that K was playing with. Much screaming ensued. T was tired too and just wanted to be held instead of sitting in the carseat.

We ate fast with me holding T while my wonderful husband dealt with K.

Next time I want to go out to dinner, we get take-out instead. I think we can try eating dinner out as a whole family in about 2 years. Lunches out aren't bad. Dinners are bad. Very very bad.

Mountains...

Last night (Friday), was a gorgeous evening. I thought it would be fun to finally take the girls out for dinner. We haven't attempted a dinner out since last October I think. I wrote about it, but I'm not sure I ever published it... Maybe I'll finish it up as a contrast to this post. That time (so long ago) was the last time we went out to dinner as a family. It made me want to cry. Perhaps it even made me cry. I need to look back at that unfinished entry.

Back then in October, K was about 17 months and she was so difficult at night, (you know, the whole throwing up thing). She needed to go to bed no later than 9 pm. Now at 23 months she's better and since it's been staying light later she has been staying up a little later and listening better too. I figure this summer we'll be doing lots of stuff at night. I thought we'd take a test spin to see what would happen.

My husband and I decided to go to the little sandwich shop close by that has fountains outside. Fountains designed for kids to run around in them. (EXCELLENT!)

We all got our food, but K had eaten a bit already and was much more excited about playing in the fountains than eating. She ran around a bit inside the restaurant while we ate. (It was pretty empty in the restaurant so it was fine.) Finally we were ready to go out to see the fountains. K calls fountains "mountains." Both K and N (4) love to play in the fountains and I was a little worried about keeping them out of them. It was almost warm enough last night to let them play in them, but not quite. By the time we got out there last night it was also getting dark so it was quickly getting cooler.

The girls did have fun running around and playing. K did great. Yay! I'm planning to do a family outing once a week (if I'm up for it). I know of 3 places that are great for kids, even young kids, at night during the summer. I figure we can alternate between the 3... Maybe we can also go to this other pasta place that isn't as outdoor oriented, but does have an ice cream store right by it for dessert.

Summer fun, here we come!

Short but sweet sleep update

T (8 months) slept pretty well again last night. She woke up once around 3 am and I got her and she slept with us until 5:30 ish. I put her back in her crib then and she's still asleep. It's 9:20. I woke up at 8:40 and so did N (4). N and I had breakfast and now I'm blogging and she's playing.

I hear K (23 months) now. She's not unhappy, I think I'll let her rest in her crib for a little longer. (Hope this doesn't make me a terrible Mom!)

Less refreshing

I went with my husband this morning to look at windows for the new house. We think we know what we want. Now we need to get the contractor and the sales person to meet and measure, and then place the order. We hope we can start on the remodel in 6-weeks (because that is how long it will take to get some of the windows).

After I got home, I've been trying to do work, but feeling antsy... (Too much to do and not enough time to do it.) I made a list of all the things I need to do and it's long. I sat down to try and accomplish one of the things on my list (for work), and just as I was about to send off the document, I did one more web search and found something that makes me have to change a lot of the document.

On the one hand, I'm glad I found it before I sent off the document. It's important to know as much as possible about an area when you are becoming an expert in an area. It helps make me look less stupid so that when someone says, "But what about X?" I have an answer... That's much better than standing there and stammering, "Um, I haven't actually heard about X before." And then they tell you that X has been around for 30 years. Then you aren't so credible as an expert anymore.

On the other hand, NOW I HAVE TO REWORK THE DOCUMENT. Arrggh! Sorry for the bellowing, but I'm just a little annoyed. At myself. Okay, done now.

In the grand scheme of things, it is not that big of a set-back to finish on Monday instead of today. And in the grand scheme of things, it is fun to learn about what else has been done in this area so I can go in a different more focussed direction. But right now I'm a little bummed.

Refreshing

There is something so nice about waking up with rock hard b*reasts that are painful to the touch.

In case you needed a translation, this means that the baby slept through the night!!!!!! From 11:45 pm - 9 am. She actually fell asleep around 8 pm and then I nursed her right before I went to sleep and then she slept! You go girl!

(If you wake up with b*reasts like that and the baby nursed all night, then my recommendation is to go to the doctor as you most likely have mastitis.)

Random post about Nursing K

Post to help me remember ...

K (23 months) is still nursing at least twice a day and very occasionally 3 times a day. I wanted to nurse her for 2 years, and if she weaned tomorrow, I'd have no complaints because we're almost to that 2 year mark*! I don't think there is any chance of her deciding to wean tomorrow, but in this gig (the motherhood thing), you never say never 'cause stranger things have happened.

K didn't nurse that much tonight before bed. She was more interested in having me nurse her two stuffed ducks. (Last week I got to nurse her stuffed kitty.) She was so cute with the ducks. They were the Mommy and baby duck and they were happy to see each other is what she kept saying. Then she'd say (as the two ducks to each other), "Wuv you." She would also make kissing noises. So dang sweet.

Anyway, someday she'll wean. I don't want to rush her. I would like her to wean, but I also want her to feel ready. I still have terrible Mommy-guilt that I got pregnant when she was 6.5 months old and had to struggle a bit to make sure she got enough milk through a year. I think she/we did fine during that time, but I worried. You can read more about me nursing through the pregnancy here.


*I can't actually believe K is almost 2! I can't believe that 2 years ago I was waddling around pregnant as can be with my second babe. I really can't believe I have baby #3 now too!

Go figure!

I went to work today and there is a lot of stuff for me to do. I am officially busy. They actually want me to do work! Who would have guessed. It's kind of a bummer though because we have a lot of other stuff happening right now and I could use the time to get things done on our new house (remodeling-wise). And I owe you an update on that too.

I have other posts half written and other things to share, so I'll just try to work fast. In the meantime, if you want to see the pictures of my 3 little girls that we got taken today leave me a comment and I'll send you the link! All 3! In one photo! Amazing! (And they are wearing the same outfit... All together now... Awwww!)

It's about time!

I've been meaning to add links to my blog and just haven't had time to do it. If you look over on the right and scroll down you'll see a few links to blogs I like and also to some of my favorite online places. Both lists are incredibly short right now. I can't decide if I want to add more or not. I don't want to link to blogs where I just lurk... I am linking to blogs where I actually interact with the person on a regular basis.

I do need to figure out how to re-arrange things so that the right column isn't so long... But that's a task for another day. (I will try to make links on the left column too, but I need to look at the html a bit to understand it and see if I can do some shifting.)(I'm sure I can figure out something!)

Got video

We went to N's spring preschool program today. I was 3 minutes late and missed several songs. I was BUMMED. I had the video camera with me and so we also missed videoing those, but we did get the rest of it. I should have given the video camera to my husband. He's more responsible and on-time than me. The show was cute, but I didn't cry this time. She looked so cute in her little white t-shirt, jean capris and a lei. They did summer and beach songs.

After their program everyone always takes the kids home and so preschool doesn't really happen. (They started their program 1/2 hour after drop off. It always seems like a bit of a scam to me to do it this way, but they always say, "You can leave your child for the rest of the day if you like." But since no one else ever does you will be a LOSER parent if you do. (They don't say that last part, but you know they think that.))

I had a meeting at the office at 2 and so I I took N with me. I had downloaded two Dora videos to my video iPod for her to watch. She watched them and was great during the meeting. I was very proud of her for this. (This almost made me cry!) She's only 4 and she made it through a meeting that lasted an hour and 15 minutes. She also played on the Bob the Builder web site.

She is great!

Spring Program

Today is Miss N's (4) spring concert at preschool. At the holiday one, I learned that I too could easily be turned into a Mommy puddle. I didn't think I was so emotional, or capable of feeling like such a sap, but I am. I am excited to see her show and wonder if it will reduce me to tears. I recently was reduced to tears by something else that shocked me. I'll share about that later, but for now, who's betting on me crying at the program?

Tuesday News

I am feeling almost back to myself again. I don't know if I was complaining too much. I don't usually complain, and when I write I tend to view this as "documentation of my life" rather than complaining. I want this blog to help me remember what my life was like with 3 little girls 'cause it's so busy that I forget too quickly. Things change so quickly too.

K (23 months) seems to be in a good place right now. She's so smart and she's so funny. She's very observant and sophisticated. She has always liked what N (4) likes when N likes it. She seems to have more sophisticated taste in videos than N. She follows long stories really well (for an almost 2 year old, and sometimes better than N at 4). I got the cutest picture of her this morning in little "Dora the Explorer" sandals, a hot pink shirt, and black yoga pants. I'll see if I can crop it and post it later ...

T (8 months) is starting to get the hang of sleeping better. Yesterday we all slept in until 9:30 am and then last night, all the little girls were in bed by 9:30. All of them. It was amazing.

I nursed T at midnight right before I went to bed and then again at 3 when she cried, and then again at 7. She hadn't woken at 7, but I got her and nursed her because I had to get up early and go to a very long dental appointment. Ugh. My head is a little not happy about having had drilling done for about 45 minutes. T (and the rest of the house) all slept until after 9:30 again. I am excited about this! I would be so happy if all the little girls went to bed at 9:30 and got up at 9:30. I could have 4 more hours of time for working and playing too. I actually can write/work well late at night. Some people are morning people, and I am a night person. I can get up and work early too, but I would prefer not to, but I could get up at 8:30 and get another hour in the morning... (Don't count my hours before they hatch though!)

Anyway, despite the long dentist appointment, it's actually a good day. My teeth will be "done" soon. I got lots of cavities when I was a teenager. I am pretty sure it was from drinking diet coke (hard on teeth) and chewing sugar bubble gum. At the same time. Yea. Not smart. Anyway, when I met my dentist (I love him!), he said, he could make my mouth look like it never had had a cavity. I signed up.

We've taken the work slowly, over about 8-9 years with time out for the pregnancies, but in about 1 week I will have beautiful teeth with only one silver filling left. He didn't want to make one in white because of the depth of the damage. It's hard to see that filling (top right way back) so I'm fine with that. My lower teeth are beautiful. My dentist always says that a dentist is only as good as his lab. He has a fabulous lab. He is a fabulous dentist.

As I lay there having him drill away, I thought about how weird it is to go to a place where someone sticks a drill in your mouth. How much trust it takes to let someone do that. How much skill it takes of the person holding the drill. Pretty amazing.

Life is pretty good over here at the moment. I am coming out of my funk. I will tell you more about it later because I want to document it for posterity. I really want my girls to have a journal about motherhood when they have kids. I want them to know about our lives. I want them to know "our story." I don't know that much about what my Mom's perspective or experience was like when I was a kid. I don't think she remembers much accurately. I sense that her memories are skewed. Sometimes in a positive way and sometimes very negatively.

I want this blog to be my "external memory device." I wish I could capture all that happens even better. This is a navel gazing blog (love that term), but if I don't gaze at our navels, no one else will. I want our navels to be thoroughly examined.

Anyway... On another note... In about an hour I am off for pedicure land! My toes are so excited! "Yippee," they say. I always get pedicures with two of my colleagues. We talk about work, life, and everything under the sun. I don't feel too guilty taking time off work to do this because it is actually important time for us to reflect on things together. I also don't feel too guilty because we would like to do this on a monthly basis, but life at work gets too crazy and we can only manage it every 3 or 4 months. How pathetic is that?

(On a scale of 1-10, how ecclectic would you say this post was? Me, I'd go with 11.)

Feeling better mostly

I am feeling better than I was yesterday both physically and mentally. I think some of my mental funk is coming from the fact that my baby is growing up. T, is most likely (99.9999% most likely) my last baby. (Warning ... sleep stuff ahead ... It's pretty boring, but I want to remember.)

I haven't yet written about moving T (8 months) from our room to her own room. On Friday we decided, (well, my husband wanted to do it, and I finally reluctantly agreed) to move T's crib to her own room.

Friday night was a hard night. I was up and down 6 times. Not just reaching over and grabbing her out of the crib, but walking to the other room to get her or put her back. I was tired on Saturday, but it was a fun day at the park so I tried not to let it get to me.

Saturday night went a little better. I asked my husband to get up with her at least one time if she was up multiple times, because I knew I couldn't do it. I was exhausted--completely spent. He agreed.

He got her the first time she woke at 1 am. He hadn't actually gone to sleep and I was passed out. She stayed in bed with us until 4, I think, and then I put her back in her crib. Then she got up again at 6 and nursed and went right back to the crib... I think that's right. I can't remember the details now, but I know Saturday night was way better than Friday.

Last night (Sunday), she went to bed around 10 pm. Then I got her and nursed her around midnight before I went to bed. I was hoping this would keep her sleeping until 4 or so. She cried around 2 am, I think, and my husband woke me up to go get her. I said, "I don't think she's hungry, let's give her a minute." I don't think she cried for more than 20 more seconds. Sometimes it is good to wait!

If I remember correctly (things that happen in the middle of the night are always fuzzy), she went back to sleep until 4 ish and then I brought her into our bed until 6 ish and then put her back in her crib and then........ everyone in the house slept until after 9:30. AMAZING! WONDERFUL! For the first time in a long time I didn't feel like I'd been hit by a large Mack truck when I got up.

Who knows what tonight will bring. Hopefully we're reaching a point when she will sleep through the night on a regular basis. I know I need to get her used to not eating at night. I've been letting her get away with nursing whenever she wants at night for a lot longer than I let the other two, but she is 99.9999% most likely my last baby, so she does get to get away with things the others didn't.

My baby! She's growing... She is getting so big. It's wonderful that she's growing and doing what she's supposed to be doing, but I am sad that I won't have a baby again. That's part of the funk.

Thar she blows!

On Monday, a couple of weeks ago, when I had my big presentation / training with the important person, I was away from home for ~11 hours. I didn't take my pump. I was very full when I got home. I could have taken my pump, and I was planning on it, but at the last minute I decided that even if I took it, I probably wouldn't have time to use it and decided that it was silly to lug it along with me. I was right. I was too busy.

Anyway, through the four hour training session I could feel myself filling up with milk. I could literally see the b*reasts getting bigger. At one point, I thought about T, and thought I was going to have a let-down. Fortunately it was during a break and I ran to the bathroom and was able to do the "push on the n*ipple" trick and stop things. (If you don't know this trick, it's a handy one. You put your upper arms over where your b*reasts are and push the nipple to the side. It will usually stop a let-down. That and thinking about baseball (heh).)

Tip section...
One thing, if you are breastfeeding a child that is not your first nurser, you aren't supposed to leak as much as when you did your first child. I noticed much less leaking immediately after K was born. I figured it was just because "the girls" knew what they were doing. I read something about the "sp*hincter muscle in the ni*pple getting in shape." Very interesting!

A little funk

I'm in a little funk. N (4) and I had a great day, but I'm tired and my back still hurts. My back hurts down my legs. Today it also hurts on the right side near my shoulder. Ibuprofen is helping, but it depresses me when my back hurts so much that I have to take ibuprofen. I am lucky that ibuprofen takes away most of the pain, but I just want to feel good--who doesn't though?

I still have to write about Easter (last week) and my day with N. Maybe I'll tackle Easter now and tell you about today later....

Easter was a fun day complete with cute little girls in bunny ears, chocolate and hanging out. What's not to like? We didn't do anything earth shattering on Easter because it's not a huge holiday in our house.

We did take a family walk and on the way home, we got caught in a downpour. It had been cloudy off and on all day, but we left for our walk when the sun was bright and shiny. We were about 8 minutes from home and by the time we got there we were all soaked. Pour little T (8 months). She and N (4) were riding in the double stroller. K (23 months) was walking so my husband picked her up and she rode on his shoulders. K thought this rainstorm was hilarious. She loved being on her daddy's shoulders while he ran. She was laughing and laughing. On the other hand, poor T, she thought the sky was falling and howled the whole way home. I felt so bad, but all I could do was put my coat over her head to help keep the rain off of her (futile), and that just made her howl louder.

When we got home she had the most outraged expression on her face. I wish I could have captured it, but Mommy's instinct was to comfort her, not take her picture. We quickly plopped the 3 soaking wet cold little rugrats in the bath and snapped some pictures of 3 little girls. The cuteness factor was incredibly high. I'd share the pictures, but I don't really want those picts of my little ones on the web. However, I will share a picture of K (23 months) and T (8 months) playing with their kitchen.

Real World Day

Today was mostly an offline day. I only got to go online about 3 times, maybe 4 and I pretty much had prescribed tasks during those times. I didn't even get antsy when I wasn't online because we went to this great park with the girls. This park (HH) has a petting zoo, rides, playground equipment, and food.

We only make it there once a year it seems and every time we go I always wonder why we don't go more often. I'm going to try and make it back to the park again soon. Maybe we don't go more because the girls are still so young. It is a great park and we had a lot of fun there today! The weather was kind of cool, but actually much nicer than being HOT, and the park was not crowded at all. EXCELLENT!

After we got home, both K and T took long naps and I made a yummy pasta dinner (spinach, cherry tomatoes, veggie Italian sausage, onions, parmesan cheese and fusilli). After dinner we took a walk. N (4) kept saying, "We're having family time." She pushed T (8 months) in the stroller the whole time we walked. We stopped at this little park on the way home and she parked the stroller and said, "You watch T__ Mom while I play." So cute! She also got winded while pushing the stroller and she said, "Boy, it's tough to be 4." Yup, and it just gets tougher the older you are kiddo.

It was a really nice family day.

Tomorrow (Sunday), N (4) and I are going to have a Mommy and Me day. She and I are going to go to lunch and then take in a show. I am excited.

3 more unusual things

Since we're on the subject of things that are not necessarily of the norm, I thought I'd come completely clean and offer three more. (Catharsis is good. I hope you feel as refreshed by this process as I do.)

1. I really love baby carrots and peanut M&Ms eaten together. If you haven't tried this, don't knock it. Back when I was in grad school, studying a complex modeling process, that involved much studying and a study group too (because we didn't understand it well enough to figure it out on our own), we discovered the joy that is baby carrots and peanut M&Ms. The baby carrots were there to munch on as a healthy snack and the M&Ms were there to keep us going when things got tough. Good combination! Really. All 4 of us who worked together agreed. Never a study session without them. We even took them to our final in case we had context-specific memories that they might help trigger.

2. I drive a stick-shift. I don't want a mini-van because I don't want to give up the stick-shift. I fear my left foot would get bored if I had to drive an automatic. The last time I had my car valet parked (at that conference for work about a week ago), I asked the valet guy if he was surprised to see a stick-shift. He said yes, you don't see many of those, but what was more surprising was that a woman was driving one.

3. I don't look like a geek, in fact, I can pass as not one in many circles, but I am one. I am a dancer, was a dance-team kind of girl in high school, but I am also a geek. I am a bit of a paradox. Given #1 in this post and #4 in the previous one you might have suspected my geekiness, but I will confirm it so you don't have to wonder. I don't have a pocket protector though.

6 Freaky/Weird/Embarrassing things

I'm choosing the "Freakish" theme. It's funny, but the things I write about don't seem that odd to me, but it is my life. I imagine that they might to others. Here we go... I'm pouring my soul out on the Internet. (It's a good thing I love the Internet. See #4)

1. I had the most wonderful cat for 16 years. He was about 18 when he passed in February of 2005. I loved him. He and I had a sort of "psychic" link. I've written about him here, here and some about the link we shared here. I am a very rational person. However, when it comes to my cat, all my rationality goes away. I love that boy. So. Much. Beyond reason.

People told me that when I had children he'd be "just a cat," but he never was. He was always, and forever will be my very very very special kitty. Even though he's gone on to another existence, I think about him multiple times every single day. I don't think I will ever not think about him every day. He has his own website that I made for him. It is very extensive. If you want to see it, email me or leave me a comment with your email.

2. When my husband and I met, we knew pretty quickly that we were made for each other, but being the rational skeptical sort that we are, we kept making sure. We were spending every night together within about a month of meeting, but we waited for 2 years before we got married. Nothing really unusual about the above sentences...The thing that might qualify is that when we met, we had the same exact silverware and identical looking cats.

3. After hanging out for nearly 10 years (10 this October!), my husband and I have never had a fight. This is wonderful, but perhaps a little, you know. It's not if you know my husband. He is totally cool all the time, totally level-headed and completely logical. (Plus he's cute too!) If it were up to me, we'd have had fights. I am not totally cool all the time. Passionate is a good way to describe me. So, I guess this one has an explanation for it, but I'm counting it any way.

4. I have a love of technology and the Internet that might be a bit extreme. I am very passionate about it. I have checked my email in the middle of the night. I get very antsy if I can't check email every few hours every day. Seriously.

I was delighted when T (8 months) was born that the hospital had a wireless network that I could access. Yes, my husband and I were online during labor. Surfing away. Yes, we sent email while I was in labor. Yes, I was online sending email within moments of getting into my actual hospital room (not the birthing suite). Yes, we made the website announcing T's birth within 2 hours. (We are technology geeks over here. My husband loves technology too. We are perfect for each other.)

I kind of think if the Internet hadn't come along and started growing like crazy around '95ish that I would have never ever had a job I liked. I love the Internet.

5. I drink a rather large amount of water and other fluids each day. When I was pregnant I was drinking at least 75 ounces of water (often more), 32 ounces of milk, and usually a cup or two of tea or coffee. Yup, that's a lot of fluid. My body must need it to maintain proper hydration because I don't think I go to the bathroom all that often. I know I go to the bathroom a lot less often than many of my female colleagues.

6. I can pop my hips in and out of joint. I can stand on my toes (lots of dancing in my youth) and pop them all. Both of these things tend to cause the people who are witnessing these things to say, "YOWCH!"


Okay, and now I'm supposed to tag people. Six of them... Yikes!

I tag Colleen, and I would tag Nino but she's been double tagged already and has already answered....

I have just traded emails with a couple of bloggers I've been reading for a while, but I hate to tag them in case they don't want to be tagged, but how about, if we've emailed recently and you want to be tagged, then tag! You can email me and I'll put a link to you in here.

And... how about if any of the other people who read my blog, are tagged. Even if you haven't commented before... I'd love to get to know you too! I've just shared things... Come on and tell me about you! If you don't have your own blog, use a comment and tell me something freakish about you... You can even be anonymous! It'll be fun!

(Perhaps I should have discussed my ability to use !'s in large quantities in posts?)

Grump Grump

My back is killing me today...

Yesterday I had a pre-migraine aura (the kind where you see pretty flashing lights), but fortunately I never got a migraine, but I did feel "off" all day. I went ahead and went to my workout last night and felt great after the endorphins kicked in.

Then my back started hurting (must have done too much) and now today I am in massive pain. I am not sure if I'm up to blogging or if it will just come out all grumpity grumpy.

I call Miss K (23 months) and Miss N (4) my little grump grumps sometimes when they are grumpy and that's how I'm feeling.

Oh, did I tell you I pee'd on a stick* yesterday after the aura? I've had 4 auras prior to the one yesterday. Two were when I was pregnant and 2 were way before the idea of getting pregnant had entered my mind. The 4th aura I had was one of the many signs that I had when I was first pregnant with T (8 months) and I was shocked out of my mind it was all a big pleasant huge surprise... Oh, I am NOT pregnant in case you were wondering. Apparently aura does not equal pregnancy. I should have known, but I was worried yesterday. All is well and three remains the number!

I have been tagged by my friend KJ to tell you 6 weird/embarrassing or freakish things about myself. I'm working on it. KJ and I have been friends for oh my, that number is large a long time. She knows most, if not all, of my embarrassing moments up until she moved to one coast of the country and I moved to the other coast. Despite the distance, and the amount of time we've been apart, she still knows most of my current embarrassing moments. "Before Kids," we chatted on the phone very often. "Since Kids," we trade voice mails and read each others blogs. Someday we might even be able to have a phone conversation again without screaming children in the background....

Oh wait... I drifted off into a fantasy of quiet.... Sorry about that. I'm back now in reality... Anyway, I will soon be back to tell you all about my freakishness, or six things about my freakishness. I'm going to go take some ibuprofen and we'll just hope they work!

To help tie this scattered post together, I will tell you that KJ is the first person I phoned after finding out I was pregnant with T. Her reaction was priceless. See if you can guess what she said.



*With medical science on our side, the chances of me getting pregnant are way less than 1%. (I am however seriously paranoid about pregnancy again because though I'm doing okay most days with 3, four children would do me in. Seriously. The surprise that turned into T was wonderful, but it changed my identity from "subfertile" to being scared of getting pregnant. I am still dealing with this change in identity. )

I am going to take control

Of my total ineptitude when it comes to keys and get myself one of these. I have WASTED far too much time in my life searching for keys. I need this. I am buying it tonight. I hope it changes my life like Alfred has.

Yes, I still love Alfred. Really and truly.

Motherhood Allegiance?

Today I dropped N (4) off at preschool. There is a gate around the whole school that is supposed to remain closed. I think it's a good idea so I am always making sure it gets shut behind me. Today I had all 3 during drop off. On the way out after getting N to her room, I had T (8 months) in the little baby carseat carrier thing and I was holding K's hand (23 months). K wasn't really wanting to hold my hand so I was struggling a little bit to get her to hold my hand and trying to shut the gate. Another Mom was on her way out with her 4-ish year old. He was walking calmly beside her. They walked through the gate after me and I thought that Mom might shut it. Nope. She kept on walking with her son oblivous to my struggles and oblivious to the fact that the gate was open. HELLO. If I don't have a child with me, or even if I have a child or two with me and I can, I try to help other Moms who might need help with a door or a gate or picking up something they've dropped or... you know.... I am not sure why she didn't help. It's really the little things, in my opinion, that make life better or worse.

Okay... letting go of it now. Being zen.

Two nursing things

1. You know you've been nursing for too many years when you can't get your least favorite nursing bra to fasten and you pull up your shirt while facing your picture window and try to fiddle with it. You're just happy that no one was walking by at that moment, but who knows if someone saw you from across the street in their house. You check out how much you can see in other people's windows and conclude that most likely no one saw anything, but they might have. Oh well.

2. If you nurse you will eventually learn how to feel yourself up to tell how full you are. If I'm uncertain as to whether I should pump or not I just give "the girls" a squeeze. I can tell if I'm full enough or if it will be futile. Regardless of how long you nurse, and how mature your husband is in all other situations, he will laugh in a teenage boy way when he sees you do this.

A fish

I don't think I ever shared this fish with you. He's good. N (4) drew him about a month ago in preschool. They had been drawing with stencils, tracing and such, but this fish, he was done freehand by Miss N... She was looking at the stencil, but she did her own thing too. When I asked about the fish, the teacher told me how N had done it. And how N changed the tail and added the bubbles (don't mind that they are lower than his mouth). This fish is better than I could do. (Seriously. I am NOT an artist. My stick figures always look embarrassed.)

I can't believe how much she loves to draw. I wasn't sure I believed that she had done the fish freehand until she "made" her Daddy a universal remote for the television and DVD player. It looks similiar. She can draw that shape really well. I watched her making the remote the whole time. She did it all by herself. It was done freehand.


She wasn't quite done cutting it out when I took the picture. She makes us stuff all the time ... She often makes us things like replacement blades for the electric razor my husband uses, a back brush, a tootbrush, cell phones, and lots of other useful things. I think she's amazing, but I am the Mom so that's part of my job. To think my kiddos are very cool. I do! I love them!

Thumb sucking...

Miss N (4) was the most oral baby ever. Of all time. Seriously. She is also still a thumbsucker. I'm not sure if she's ever going to stop. It hasn't affected the alignment of her teeth at all. Right now, she has perfect teeth. Who knows what will happen with her permanent ones.

Miss K (almost 2) was less oral than N, and became a thumb sucker. She sucks her thumb quite a bit, but I don't think she's as much of a thumb sucker as N was at almost 2. Ironically, one of her baby teeth is very crooked.

Miss T (8 months) is even less oral than her older sisters and has already seemingly given up her thumb sucking habit. I noticed the other day that she doesn't suck it. Not when she's falling asleep nor when she is asleep. I asked her dad if he'd seen her do it lately and he too has noticed that she hasn't been doing it. I never really thought she was that into her thumb.

Go figure... My baby gave up the thumb sooner than her biggest sister. Of course, it all could change. T could decide that she loves her thumb and start sucking it again. Right now, today (and for the last month or so), she is not a thumb sucker.

I need your help

... she says in her best Dora voice.

My most-est favorite-est mug for drinking tea in is broken. I am so sad. I am the one who broke it, so I can't even really be mad. (I am mad at myself.)






If you know of any one who has a mug like this one (black kitty) who might be willing to sell it, please let me know! Please please please!


(p.s. I give my friend Nino full credit for inspiring me to figure out how to do animated gifs! Fun fun!)

I should have known!

It is obvious now that Miss T has a little cold. That's most likely why she didn't sleep so well two nights ago. She slept much better last night, but I gave her tylenol before bed. I got about 8 hours of sleep with only 2 interuptions. I am almost feeling like a human again.

We had a lovely Easter yesterday and I'll write that up soon.

Again, I am tired...

I was up on and off from about 3 am until 7:30 and then we got up for the day at 8:45. Miss T (almost 8 months) didn't sleep very well last night. A couple of weeks ago I threatened Operation Better Sleep. Then Miss T seemed to be sleeping better though and I didn't make a plan.

I am not sure there is anything I can do that I'm not already doing to get her to sleep better. She's certainly not a horrible sleeper and most nights I get 7-8 hours of sleep so I really can't complain. I think on these horrible nights something is bothering her ... it could be tooth #8 coming through (it's really close). Perhaps I should have given her tylenol last night. I was just too tired to think about that.

I'm going to be a walking zombie today.

Easter Baskets -- Shoes

Last night N (4) and I were explaining to K (almost 2) what our pagan Easter is all about. At the end of our discussion K summarized enthusiastically... Easter! Baskets! Eggs! Little Presents! Shoes! (We hadn't said shoes...)

I asked her if she thought shoes were the perfect present. She said yes (with a head nod and her "affirmative sound"). A girl after my own heart!

I hope that she wasn't too disappointed not getting shoes today. (Yesterday she and I were looking at a catalog together and she was pointing out all the shoes. She and I are going to be shoe shopping buddies!)

New accomplishments

Miss N (4) has learned to spell and write her name! All the letters. Her name is kind of long... I am proud of her. She is 4 years 3 months. She still has 1.5 years until she goes to Kindergarten. She will be soooo ready.

The other thing N has learned how to do is to jump in the air and spin. She can almost do a full 360. I'm not sure if she's learning this in gymastics or if she just decided to start doing it. I asked if they did it in gymnastics and she said no. (I had to miss gymnastics last week 'cause I had a big meeting Tuesday afternoon.)

T's new accomplishment is that she is learning how to wave. If you ask her to wave she will sometimes do a slight movement of her fingers. It is subtle but distinct enough so that you can see that she is thinking about it. If you wave at her and say wave she will move her fingers. If you ask her to give you a kiss she'll sometimes lunge at you with an open mouth. If you lean in and kiss her and say kiss she'll usually open mouth kiss you back. I love it when you can see language and understanding beginnng to emerge.

K (23 months) is talking more and more and the sentences are getting longer. Tonight she said, "I want guacamole and chips Mommy." She also has been showing that she has a memory for events that happened quite a bit in the past. The other day I told her that a friend of ours was coming to visit. She said, "Yay! Chocolate." I thought and thought as to why she would say that. Then I realized, that the last time she had seen him, he had brought chocolate. Wow.

All my little girls are growing up.

Give me a C! Give me an H!

Give me an E! Okay, I'll stop now, but this post is all about Cheerios! T (almost 8 months) loves them! It's the first food that she's really really liked! We gave them to her last night and she sat in her high chair and ate them for about 20 minutes. I guess I should say she ate them, she dropped them, she shared them with her sisters, and they fed them to her too. She also stuffed them into her mouth and blew raspberries of happiness. It was all very cute.

T hasn't liked any baby foods. She would take a baby teething biscuit and play with it, maybe give it a quick lick, and then drop it. She liked watching them fall. She didn't like baby food apples, bananas, sweet potatoes, oatmeal, rice cereal (made with breastmilk), or yogurt. She did kind of like the oven fries (made from organic potatoes, canola oil and a little salt--what's not to like?), but the cheerios... they were a big hit!

I usually try and wait to give my babies wheat until they are 7.5 months old. When I realized T was there, we went for it (there is wheat in cheerios). We had actually tried sourdough bread the other day (Saturday or Sunday) and she liked it pretty well, but nothing like she liked the cheerios.

Did I mention that the cheerios were a hit?

Don't mess with Ms. T

The other night, Tuesday night / early Wednesday morning, Ms. T (7.5 months) was snoozing in the middle of our king size bed and she rolled over next to her daddy. She was laying on her back and she flung her right arm. She hit her daddy on the nose. Apparently she packs a good punch because he woke-up. I heard him say, "ouch," and I asked sleepily what was wrong. He said T hit him in the nose.

I tried not to wake up too much. I figured it couldn't be too bad because she's just a baby! A few moments later I heard him say, "It's bleeding." I still figured it couldn't be too bad and once again I tried to ignore it. Then he got up, and I heard him taking off the pillowcase and running water, and lots of kleenex being pulled from the box.

When I got up, I saw the blood all over his pillow... I saw the pile of bloody kleenex in the trash. I felt bad. It actually bled a lot. My poor husband.

He said she had just "punched" her ticket to her own crib.

Last night (Wednesday night) she started off in her crib, but around 12:45 she wanted to come snuggle with me and nurse. I was exhausted. She stayed in our bed the rest of the night, but he made sure to face away from her! He slept on his right side all night. Poor guy. He's not taking any chances.

Apparently Ms. T is one tough cookie! I think I'll try to teach her to say, "I pity the fool..." (hee hee.)

We've been joking that now we know who the "chosen one" is. (Buffy the Vampire Slayer reference.)

Poor guy! The dark side of co-sleeping.

Another Encounter

Today I walked into our cafeteria at work to get some lunch. In addition to lunch, I also got an unplanned "encounter." Back in December, I got an interesting call. Today in the cafeteria, C________ (the president / CEO) came up to me at the ATM and started chatting. I almost forgot my PIN number when that happened. He has finished the book and my work and my name are in it. He said he mentioned me at least 5 times. I am flattered. He said he would email me a copy of the chapter. He said I could review it and if I had any changes I could most likely get small changes made.

I had been wondering a little what was going on with the book. I talked with C_______ at our Holiday party and he said he wanted to talk with me and work on the materials I sent him, and then I never heard from him. I didn't know whether he decided to just cut the information about my work, or if he'd re-worked it without me. I'm very glad it was the latter and not the former!

I am still nervous when he talks to me, but I am starting to get over it. I try not to just babble incoherently (what I did when I first met him back in '98 or '99. I gave him a semi-intelligent and brief update on my own plans for starting up a new area. He said it sounded great.

I went back to my office and told my supervisor about the whole exchange and we came up with an idea for me to pitch to C_________ since I seem to have his ear right now. The project he referenced in the book doesn't have a lot of funding so we're going to pitch the idea of some internal funding to C__________ to make sure that we can keep the project going without compromising our ideals. We figure it can't hurt to ask. He said no to a pitch we made in 2001 or 2002 for internal funding , but why not try again?

ummmm... Gum?

So, this is kind of an odd one... But it really needs to be recorded for posterity...

About 5 years ago we (my husband and I, and no kids cause we didn't yet have them) were visiting my parents. We were on a little car trip with them to go visit some other people. My Mom offered us some gum. We both turned her down. Her response as we said no thank you was, "Oh, don't you like gum?"

Ummm... No.... We said no thank you to one offer and you decide we don't like gum? We tried to explain that we like gum but we just didn't want any at that moment, but it was futile... Okay, whatever... My husband and I laughed about this exchange and we still discuss it occasionally because it was so random....

Fast forward to yesterday...

I'm talking to my Mom on the phone. She asks, "Are you eating something?" I answer, "Oh, I'm sorry, I am chewing some gum. I guess I was being too loud. Let me get rid of it." She replies shocked, "What, you're doing chewing gum??? You NEVER chew gum."

I thought back to that day 5 years ago... I didn't even know what to say. I said, "Yes, I chew gum sometimes." She replied, "No, you don't. Why are you chewing gum?"

Me: Stunned unsure of what to say...

Her: "Why are you chewing gum?"

Me: "I chew gum sometimes."

Her: "No you don't. You never take my gum."

Me: "Ummmm, well, I just didn't want gum when you offered it, but I don't dislike gum."

Her: "No you don't like gum. You always turn me down when I offer you gum"

Me: "I do like gum sometimes, I just didn't want it when you offered it."

Her: "No, you don't like gum."

Somehow we finally moved on and discussed other things, but I swear our gum exchange went on for about 5 minutes. I just don't understand this gum thing. Do you? Is it just me, or was this random?

Part of a complete breakfast...

K (23 months) is still nursing. She shows no interest in ever quitting. Ever. But that's a topic for another day. Anyway, I've always wondered how she views nursing. Does she view it as a quiet special time that we share? A special time that she and I can strengthen our bond as a mother and daughter? ..... Or does she view it as food? The other morning, I learned her view. She looked at me and said, "Hungry... Nurse!"

Yup... I am part of a complete breakfast. I feel special.

Stick a fork in me

I'm done! The work craziness is over. I'd dance in excitement, but I'm too tired. Part of me wants to tell you all about the last two days. I want to share all of the excitement, the tears, the good, the bad and the ugly, but this blog isn't about that.

I will share a little, but this is mostly being written for me so that I can look back on this and remember this year. I worked about 20 hours the last two days and for me, right now, that's a lot. I try to limit things to 20 hours a week at the most, and most weeks I can stick to that, but this week, it was a big week. We did a big presentation / training yesterday and we had an important person there that we needed to impress so getting ready for the presentation / training involved quite a bit of preparation. And then it was nerve-wracking doing it. The important person was impressed and grew to like us more so that is good.

Today, as a follow-up since she (the important person) was still in town, we had to do an in-depth meeting with her. So last night and then early this morning we had to prepare--after all of our preparations for our big thing yesterday. This morning I was on the phone with the project leader at 8:30 am. I was also showered, and had been working for about an hour. I am often not up at 8:30 am so you know it is a big thing.

I got some of the scoop from the project leader about this afternoon and what an underlying purpose of the meeting. I just love it when people start throwing around the term strategic. The meeting today was a strategic meeting. We are in negotiations to get more money and try to make the project more influential. It is really a good project. I got put on this project back in 2002 when I was coming back from my first maternity leave. I don't exactly fit on the project, but somehow I am one of the senior people on the project. It's kind of an odd project, but it is good and every time we do a training or share this project with they love it. I really like the project leader. She's really smart.

I also really like two of the other contributors. One is a man who lacks confidence, but does good work. He's a bit older than me, and I've gotten to see him grow and improve over the last 4 years. He is slowly becoming more confident. His work is also improving. I think my work has improved slightly, but not as much as his. I have had 3 kids in 4 years though so I'm not too surprised that I haven't improved a great deal in my work. Actually, if you look across all of the work I have done on the different projects I have worked on I have learned a great many new things and I haven't yet had a chance to "improve" because I'm still acquiring a great many skills.

Anyway, the other contributor I really like is a woman a bit younger than me. This is her first job out of college. She's a trip. She's about 5 years out of college now. She has a new boyfriend and we (another colleague and I) think she's going to be engaged by the end of the year. This freaks her out when we say it, and we just laugh.

Okay, back to today... The O project... We're trying to get more money, but the project leader thinks that one of our competitors is trying to convince the organization that help us that we're not worthy. I think that the main woman at our competitor used to sleep with the man who used to be the "important person." About 2 years ago that "important person" was encouraged to take an early retirement. Apparently he had a history of philandering. I met him about 3 years ago and it is hard to imagine that he would be capable of that. He seemed like such a nice grandfatherly type. Anyway, he's out of the picture and the new important person is a woman and really likes us, but other important people at her organization, some who are more important than her, listen to the woman at the competitor...

Oh the drama! Who knows what will happen. The important person gave us some useful information about another important person at her organization. We don't know if the important person gave us this information to try and help us or if she just innocently gave us the information. It all sounds so X-file "cancer man-ish" as I write it this way, but we wonder.

Is the important person trying to help us or not? Will she really go to bat for us when things get serious? Will we be able to sway the other important person back to our side because if we do, he will go to bat for us. And he's more important...

So that was today. A big strategic meeting and then afterwards lots of dissecting of details from the meeting...

The funny thing is that I really don't want to work on this project any more. It's really difficult to get off of a project where I work. You don't ever want to burn bridges. If the project ended, then I'd be done with it, but instead, we are still going so I have to work hard on trying to keep it going and perhaps even expand it. If it expands, I might be able to make a case to try and find someone to replace me, but if it stays the same size then I will be the one who will have to do the work because it wouldn't be worth it to train someone new.

Anyway, if you read all of this, you deserve a medal!

Work....

I am almost done with work stuff being insanely crazy. Almost! I miss it here. I am too tired now to write. Must go consume mass quantities of ice cream!

Quieting down... If you can call it that.

The company left this morning. At 7:30 am. My husband and I didn't get up to see them off. We said our goodbyes last night. We may be seeing them again in June if we feel up to traveling in June after a big trip in May. We will see. Neither he nor I like to travel so we often don't. We want to see our loved ones who live far away, but we really don't like to travel.

So it's quieter here, by a little. In the midst of all the craziness of the last week, I forgot that we (K 23 months and I) have a birthday party to attend this afternoon. I also forgot that I had enrolled her in a little gym class that started today. I remembered last night. I call the last minute remembering, "Just in time remembering." I have a "Just in time brain." (This is sort of a computer science joke.)

Anyway, K and I went to the class at 11. While we were playing I suddenly remembered the party at 2. Yikes. So after class, she and I ran to the store to get a birthday present. We also got her a BIG purple bouncy ball. She loves balls. This one is big enough for her to sit on and bounce. Which she did. In the back of the cart. The entire time in the store after we found it.

Pretty cute. She is pretty amazingly coordinated and cat-like. I put the purple bouncy ball in the back of the cart. She was in the front in the little cart-seat. She wasn't buckled in because the cart we had didn't have a good buckle. Anyway, I bent down to pick up the birthday present we decided to get, and by the time I stood up, she was in the back of the cart bouncing on the ball. I guess she stood up and climbed back there in the 5 seconds when I was looking away. OH MY! What's a Mom to do? I probably should have gotten another cart and buckled her 'cause that would have slowed her down a little. But I didn't. Note to self, make sure the cart has a buckle that works so I can buckle K. I took a second to thank her lucky stars that she hadn't hurt herself and then let her sit on the purple ball and bounce.

**********

The family dinner last night went well. If you like eggplant, let me know and I'll post the recipe for the most delicious eggplant dish ever. It's my dad's recipe. During dinner we let the two older girls (N, 4 and K 23 months) run around like little wild animals and play while we ate since it was late (8:30) and they'd already eaten. It was chaotic, but they had fun.


**********

Oh, did I tell you K's new phrase? When she doesn't like something she says, "No like it. Ever." I laugh every time she says it.

Did I tell you that I think T's learning to wave? Tonight I swear she flapped her arms and said, "hi." Of course, I could swear she's been saying "hi" since she was 3 or 4 months old though too. The big sisters say "hi" all the time to her so she has heard it enough times to understand it!

I can't believe my baby is so big. Miss N (4) "made" Halloween costumes today. She draws and cuts and pastes and she made T a "Super T__" costume. It's got a little cape and everything. I just realized that by Halloween she'll be running around. I won't have a baby any more. Already she's so big. It just goes too quickly.

Did I tell you I have about 7 loads of laundry to do?

Did I tell you I asked K what letter her name started with and she said, "Kuh, Kuh, K is for K____." She's a smart cookie that one! Not even two!

more buzz

Our company is still here. Tonight we're doing a big family dinner kind of thing. There are a few more relatives driving here for dinner too. I'm making a great Italian eggplant dish... The eggplant just melts in your mouth, spaghetti, spinach salad, and carrot cake with very delicious cream cheese frosting. Three of us have been cooking, laughing, and sampling all afternoon. We're stuffed! But we had to taste it all to make sure it was good. We can definitely say that it all is yummy.

Dinner's in about an hour. Hopefully we'll have room to eat a little of the finished product. I forgot how much more fun it is to cook with others. I love to cook, and I'm used to kind of going into a quiet place as I'm chopping and sauteeing, but it is fun to chat and eat while preparing food for a big family dinner.

When I was a kid, I used to love the craziness that went along with big family dinners. As a young adult, I grew to really dislike the chaos, but today has been a lot of fun. Since we don't live near family, I forgot that hanging wih families involves embracing each person's idiosyncrasies. More on that later.

Anyway, I just wanted to pop-in and record some of these thoughts while they were fresh, but dinner is calling. Must go cook!

Bee

Yup, that's me... Busy as a bee... Buzz buzz. (Was that a bee sound or the caffeine talking?)

We have company, so K (22 months), N (4) and T (7.5 months) get to spend some time hanging with relatives. I am excited. When you don't live near any family members it can be sad. I have a conference for work (next week), and a lot of work to do. It's a fun week this week and next week, but most likely not a lot of time for blogging.

We got a new huge contract at work that I'm really excited about. It will help me with my new area of research. I am thrilled!

What else... We're doing some work on the first floor of our new house ourselves and are trying to make a decision about the remodeling firm. They came back with some new budget estimates given a smaller scope of work. The new estimates are still exorbitant, but at least in the budget we set. We're set to talk with another smaller one-man shop soon (who gets fantastic reviews and has done a lot of work for our realtor) and is supposedly significantly cheaper. Then we'll make a decision.

What else... T has another tooth... That's #7 for those of you keeping track. Third tooth on the bottom... (left side).

Oh... The big exciting news.... T slept in her crib. All night. All by herself. No waking from 11-ish until 8-ish. That was a couple of nights ago. Last night she went to sleep around midnight and slept in her crib until 3-ish and then slept with me until 6:30-ish and then in her crib again until 9:30-ish. I think last week she was teething when she wasn't sleeping.

Okay... I will stop this boring post now before I fall asleep! More soon! Exciting entries coming I promise! (Did I make this one seem more exciting with all the ! at the end?)

Twitching

Last night I was so tired that there was something twitching in my forehead. It felt really weird. It was right above my nose, near my right eyebrow.

I need sleep. When I was in graduate school, I didn't sleep very much. Right after graduate school, I ended up getting pretty sick. With a weird, rare, and often very serious disorder. I was lucky. My case was very mild. I only had paresthesias. Fun word. It means numbness, prickly, weird sensations. Basically, when I was "sick," I was exhausted, and numb from the chest down. Really numb. It also felt like I was wearing a corset. My hands were numb too.

I recovered completely except my hands are still numb all the time. When I'm tired, I get really uncoordinated and sometimes "twitchy". Last night at dance, doing a turn, I almost fell, but I caught myself. When I start to feel klutzy I know I have to sleep. I try to sleep a lot in general. I don't actually like having to sleep so much. It makes me feel like I'm missing out on doing other things, but I don't like how I feel when I don't sleep enough.

They aren't sure what caused my case. Idiopathic, but most likely triggered by a virus is what they say. I had just had several vaccinations for a trip, and then I caught a cold. Most likely the vaccines revved my immune system and then the cold trigged the autoimmune attack. Even though I was lucky, with a mild case, it is still scary. When it's a mild case, they can't tell for sure whether it's TM (transverse myelitis), or MS (multiple sclerosis). They tell you to wait 3 or 4 years, sleep a lot and try to stay healthy. If it's MS, it'll come back, if it's just TM you'll be fine.

It's been almost 9 years. I'm still good. Whenever I get really tired, I start to think that perhaps it's recurring because I get klutzy, and because my hands get more numb. I also get this "shooting electrical pain" that goes down my back, legs and out my toes when I move my head a certain way. All of this is normal (for me). I have a demyelinated area on my spine. That means the nerves can't talk to each other and thus, the weird symptoms. Oh, and if I get hot, forget it! In the summer, when it hits 90, I just kind of melt. My hands get really really numb and I feel more numb kind of everywhere. Oh, and then there is the allodynia. That's when a light touch really hurts. I used to have to wear padded fingertip things when I typed because it hurt my fingers a lot. Now it hurts just a bit, but I don't wear the little pads.

Anyway, I'm not complaining. I do feel lucky. I just wanted to share with you one of the myriad of reasons that sleep is so important to me. I didn't want you to think I just liked to whine about lack of sleep. I also wanted you to know so you could know why vaccines are so scary to me when I give them to my girls. And why I do them slowly. And why I don't do ones that don't seem "necessary" to me. The world used to be much more black and white to me, but I have learned a lot about grey.

Slide Mommy

Miss K (22 months) knows how to walk downstairs now. I would prefer to see her slide on her tummy with her feet first, or if she won't do that, on her little bottom. I say to her, "Slide K. Slide please." She will usually sit down and slide. Now, before she sits to slide she says, "Mommy slide too." So I sit and slide down our stairs. She is always delighted when I do this. It's the little things.

Tonight

Tonight I will go to bed early. I will. I promise. I will not stay up late, even though my body doesn't think it's late because of the time change. I will go to bed early. (I am such a night owl. This morning I had to get up and do a little work for work. Bleh!)

I will go to bed early. I will not play with technology or in the blogosphere.

N's lectures and complaints

Miss N (4) wanted to watch a video. I put the DVD into the player and the player said, "Check for scratches." I cringed. I told Natalie that the video might not play because it might be scratched (I wanted her prepared for the worst case scenario). I took out the DVD and found just ooey-gooey type of finger prints on it. Easy enough to clean.

As I explained to N what I thought the problem was and wiped it off, N started saying. "I wish K (22 months) listened better. She never listens. She runs off all the time. She needs to learn to listen better. She touched the DVD and slimed it. She should have asked before she touched the DVD. That's what good girls do, they ask first. I really wish she would ask me first."

Do I sound like that???

Last night, at dinner, Miss T (7 months) started her famous dolphin squeal. Miss K promptly joined in and then Miss N did. My ears couldn't take it. I said, "Little girls, please don't squeal like dolphins." No one stopped. I looked at N and said, "Please help me get them to stop. Please don't make that noise any more and please help me get them to stop. You're the big girl and I need your help."

This prompted N to take on the role of "the enforcer." Every time either K or T would start to make a dolphin squeal, N would very sternly say, "You're not a dolphin and we don't like dolphins in the house. Dolphins live in the sea. Do you live in the sea? No, you don't."

I was cracking up.

Art (by N)

Know what this is?















Still a little confused?















It is a toothbrush holder for me made by N! It's so cool. It has a snowman on top. She made it for me the day after her dentist appointment. Paper is her favorite medium. Her creativity never ceases to amaze me.

She is chomping at the bit to take an art class. I found one, but it's parent participation, and me and art... ummmm.... well, let's just say N has already surpassed me.

How on earth...

How on earth did it get to be April, 2006????

In 2004, the year kind of ended for me after K was born. Then all of a sudden I was pregnant again and 2005 ended in August after T was born... Now, suddenly it's April of 2006? WTF? How did that happen? I hardly ever write checks, and because of this, the few I have written this year have said "2005" on them. It's still hard for me to believe it's not 2004 anymore... Tell me it's because of the kids and not because I'm getting old! Please. Even if it's a lie, I'll be happier.