Friday, March 31, 2006

CKT

I may start calling T, CKT, because she does the cutest kicky thing I've ever seen when she is excited. I've got to get a video of that before she stops doing it!

(CKT would be a new nickname Cute Kicky T___.)

K's alphabet

I have mentioned before that K is all about the alphabet right now.

This is how she currently says it...

ABCDEFGHIJKL-Mom-Mom-Mom-Mom-PQRSTUBWXYZ


Is that cute or what?

She is a Mommy's girl!

I am TIRED

I am so wiped today.... Miss T (7 months) had me up about every 40 minutes last night. I don't know how Moms go for months or years with sleep interuptions like that. After one night, I'm losing it. We are going to start Operation Better Sleep for T as soon as I figure out what I should do.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

AN

Here I brag all about N. If you don't want to read gushing, stop now.



AN=Amazing N.

She truly is. She is 4 and she is tall and beautiful. I sometimes forget how amazing she is because I get overwhelmed and she can be difficult, but only because she is very smart, energetic and 4. I know I have different expectations because she is a first born. I expect more from her. (I mentally apologize to her all the time about this.)

My expectations are higher because, though I "know" kids, (and have the degrees to "prove" it), I never had my own kid before N. (To all pediatricians who read this blog--I'm sure a LARGE number--and don't yet have kid(s), please get one or more. Our pediatrician didn't have a kid when N was born and then she had one and now she is the BEST. PEDIATRICIAN. EVER. We heart her.)

So I have all these expectations of N because she is baby girl #1. It may not be fair to her, but it is the reality here. When she was little I wanted to watch her grow and advance quickly because it was so much fun. With K and T, I know what is appropriate and what can actually be expected of kids at certain ages, so I expect differently, and probably not as much, because I always find that K is exceeding my expectations.

Anyway, N has taught me so much. With N, everything is exciting and new because it's "the first" time we do things. She taught me how to breastfeed, how to take care of a baby, everything. I love that girl! My N___a-girl!

Recently we went to her Parent teacher conference at Preschool. It was fun and exciting and as the teacher spoke, we were proud. The teacher talked about how friendly N was. How much she smiled. How helpful she was. How she was always excited about all the activities at school. How she would sit down quietly and encourage the other children to sit down quietly too. How she did this in a very nice way. How she was very social and played nicely with everyone. How well she shares for a 4 year old.

WOW.

And then we got to hear about her school work. She is doing very well there too. I am thrilled. The school is very academically oriented and N has mastered her pre-literacy skills. I am thrilled. The teacher gushed on and on about how well she was doing. And then I asked a question. I asked, "How do you think she is doing with learning to write her letters?" The teacher replied, "We're not working on writing letters here, just recognizing them and the sound they make. Many kids aren't coordinated enough to write at age 4 and we don't want to frustrate them." "Really?" I ask.

She is writing letters and spelling words at home. No one has shown her how to do this really. OH MY GOSH... She's a genius. She will ask me how to spell a word and then she will make all the letters as I spell the word. I've talked with her about writing a little, and so has her nanny, but not a lot... She just was ready to learn to write, so she did. My smart girl!

(She does hold the pencil in her fist and not in her fingers... but she writes... honest to gosh letters and she asks me how to spell words... and she can sound out short words... and she can tell you the sound the final letter of a word makes... and she is getting so close to reading... My baby!)

Okay... I'll stop gushing now.

Did I mention that I love that girl?

silly song

My husband sang this song to K (22 months). She loved it. She asks for the farmer song now. I'd never heard it before. It cracks me up.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Up and down

Today was neither a great day nor a bad day and that is fine with me. I like the even keel. I like the ups, but I really dislike the downs, so give me steady and boring anyday. It's hard with 3 little ones not to have downs and not to be overwhelmed.


Moving on to another topic.... So far, the colds are weird. Lots of congestion sound, but nothing coming out the noses. I'm fine with that now, but I'm hoping that's not a recipe for an ear infection. We don't want no stinkin' ear infections! We just got back to normal after T's first course and the side effect from the antibiotic. I don't want to have to go through that again!

Speaking of Miss T (7 months), she is just not into eating food. She is all about nursing. We haven't found a single food she likes. We've tried, bananas, apples (almost gagged on those), teething biscuits (wheat free), rice cereal with breast milk, sweet potatoes, and avacado. She says NO! I'm okay with nursing exclusively for a while longer. When she's ready to eat she will.

I'm so glad my first baby (N) liked food when she was "supposed" to like food. N was a completely-by-the-book baby. Totally and completely. She did everything like all of the baby books said she should do when they said she should do them. It was very reassuring. She was and still is a great eater! Now, being an experienced and much more mellow Mom, I'm okay if T wants to take her time doing things like eating. Her latest trick... pulling up on something and then letting go and balancing. I think her personal best is about 4 or 5 seconds.

What else... I think I had too much coffee today. I feel jittery and that's very unusual for me. Yesterday I don't think I had enough, and so to avoid the low feeling, I think I over-imbibed.

A while ago, I had a fantasy of playing in the blogosphere while a Roomba or Scooba cleaned my floors. It's coming true right now!

I love Alfred!

Monday, March 27, 2006

2 more not good things

1. N (4) & K (22 months) both have a cold or something. T (7 months) has been coughing. I don't know if it's the same thing or if it's something different. If it's the same thing, then T started it and that would be a little odd, not impossible, but odd.

2. I talked to my sister-in-law tonight. She thinks that my Mom and Dad really need to go into an assistive living place. I agree, but my parents don't. I think my brothers and I are going to have to deal with this fairly soon. I'm not surprised. I wrote about this here.

One good thing today

One of my best friends from college "found me" today. I'd lost touch with him and I'm delighted after all these years he found me. I love the Internet. (Not through this blog, but through class*mates*.com.)

Rainy Day

In many movies, when the protagonist is facing a difficult situation, it often starts raining on them to accentuate the despair. That's how I feel today. It's not an awful day, but I'm tired and overwhelmed. And it really is raining here today. Figuratively it's raining because I'm having an issue with one of the nannies. I don't feel comfortable writing it up and leaving it on the blog, so I'm not going to post it here. We have known her for 4 years and we do love her. However, her heart is not in being a nanny anymore and ...

Anyway... I talked with her today and it always stresses me out to do that. It doesn't seem to bother her in the slightest, and that's fine, but it does show me how ready she is to move on, and that's fine.... It's just complicated and I'm far more into it than I wanted to go, so this post might come down, or get revised, or something. We'll see.

What else.... Because of the above, I feel I didn't do my best on a project at work. This bums me out. I also just feel overwhelmed by the fact that when you're a Mom, you don't ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever get a vacation. Even if someone took my kids and took great care of them, it wouldn't be a vacation. I want to take care of my kids. I want to work. I want to do it all. I also want to be a good wife and it seems like there just isn't enough of me to go around....

I'm sure if you're reading this blog you understand.

Today started off well enough. I got something done for work and emailed off. Then I even made a couple of web pages for our family. Then the day spun out of control.

Most of the time I feel like I am doing okay in keeping things decently in balance, but every once in a while it all just overtakes me and I feel like I'm drowning. That's today. Perhaps I didn't have enough caffeine. Perhaps it's just the rain. I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow. I sure hope so. I'm just overwhelmed.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

We don't have little girls...

We have dolphins. Lately (the last week or two) Miss T (7 months) has a new way of communicating. She does a high pitched dolphin squeal and K (22 months) and N (4 years) respond. It is painful to the ear. 3 little dolphins... must check to see if the name is available on blog spot.

Oh speaking of blogs and addresses. I don't think I'm going to move to typepad from here. I'm just not wanting to pay the fee for the service. They don't seem to offer as much as they did 1.5 years ago in terms of stats and counters and control over your look and feel. I'm most likely staying here because over there I don't have control over the html on the template and I'm not used to the interface. I think their interface might be a little nicer, if you don't know html, but I know html, so it only frustrates me not to have complete control over things (not that I use them here, but if I wanted to I could!). If I paid for the premium blog level (like 8.95 or 14.95 a month) I could have a lot more control, but heck, I don't even want to pay $4.95 a month.

Only 2 or 3 people weighed in on the great blog debate... If you want a vote before the month ends (when they start charging me at Typepad) go over http://3littlegirls-ohmy.typepad.com/ and take a look.

More soon.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

More Random Things--I blame work

Someday I might have time to write a post that is more than just random points, but I don't know when. I'm in the midst of writing 2 things for work, and though I’m not writing the great American Novel, I am still distracted. I should be working on one of them right now, but I want to record some of our activities for posterity.

I forgot to write about going to our Children's Discovery Museum last weekend. It was a lot of fun. Since March is "National Nutrition Month" (I can't find a good link that I think will stay around), they had displays about food and people dressed as different food items.

One of the types of food that was "walking around," was a baked potato. It looked similar to Mr. Potato Head and this thrilled K (22 months). Though she was a little scared of the big potato at the time, she's been talking about it ever since. She wants to go see Mr. Potato Head again. We had to get out our Mr. Potato Head toy and she's played with it everyday this week.

In case you were wondering, Mr. Potato Head seems to be a hit with the 2-year old crowd. N got him for her 2nd birthday. I freaked when we opened it... It advertised 28 parts! I was not excited about a toy with 28 small-ish parts, but N did great with it. We still have almost all 28 pieces too. Probably if I looked around a little I would find all of the pieces pretty easily. Anyway, N loved it two years ago and now K (not quite 2) loves it and is really good with it too. The cutest thing was the other morning when they played with him together for about 10 minutes with no screaming. I was amazed! I even took video! (So there's an idea for you just in case you're looking for birthday gift ideas for 2 year olds.)

Speaking of video... I took a ton of video today. Someday I'll have time to get it all edited... I figure, if nothing else, it's my project for when the girls go off to college. Speaking of college, I started thinking about the girls growing up and going away and I just can't even fathom it. Granted they won't start college for another 14 - 18 years, but still.... Heck, they haven't even started kindergarten yet. But, when the time comes, I will be so sad. I think I'll have to go with them. I hope they like me enough to want me to go. I'll even be the designated driver. When I think about my college years, I just can't imagine my little girls going off to school. And I was a good girl. Really. Very mild. A little craziness, but not a lot. But those are stories for another day.

What else...

Today we took the girls with us to a BIG hardware store to look at new doors, floor ideas, trim and other things for our upcoming remodel. We put K (22 months) and T (7 months) together in the double stroller and N in the single umbrella stroller. My husband was worried about taking all 3, but they did pretty well. We usually divide and conquer and have one person take 2 and one take 1 on errands. It just works out better that way, but we're trying to do more stuff together as a family of 5. I can't believe we're a family of 5... 6 if you count our kitty.

After we got home K (22 months) and T (7 months) each took a 3 hour nap. AT! THE! SAME! TIME! It just doesn't get much better than that. We're hoping K will sleep longer tonight too (sleep begets sleep).

I think I should probably go re-read bits of that book. T still prefers to sleep with us. That is okay, but I would love to have her start the night in her own crib and then join us instead of spending the entire night with us. But, actually, whatever. As long as she sleeps and I sleep, I don't really care where everyone sleeps. I think she's actually working on some more teeth and that's why she really wants to be with me all the time. Ask me in a week what she's doing and I'm sure it will be completely different. That's the thing about babies, in their first year they change constantly! It really is an amazing thing to behold.

Whew, this turned into a lot longer of a post than I expected.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Things....

We met with our designer and we will see what numbers she comes back with for the price of the remodel. We took out a lot of work. As far as timing, we are probably stuck with not starting until the end of May, and we may push it later ('cause we may choose to subcontract out some of the work as a cost-savings--we'll see).

It annoys me totally when people leave a phone message and say their phone number VERY fast. Slow down on the number... Yes, you know it well, but the person you are leaving it for doesn't. I had to listen 4 times to a number left on my voice mail today. I still had to guess at one of the digits. (Edited to add: This has bothered me for YEARS (over 10 years, because my previous boyfriend gave me this as a pet-peeve--he used to complain about this to no end and thus, it started to bug me) and I do leave my phone number very slowly and clearly when I leave it. Probably annoyingly slow. And then I often leave it twice so people don't have to figure out how to go back on their voice mail to listen to the number part again. I'm probably on the other end of the annoying spectrum, huh?)

What else...? 3 little girls are still very cute. Last night, none of them wanted to go to sleep. Actually T (7 months) did, but her older sisters kept waking her. Miss K (22 months) really doesn't even want to take a nap. She's sooooo tired, but she's fighting sleep. She's been in her crib for about 1/2 hour - 45 minutes. I am NOT going to get her up before she naps.

Yesterday she only napped about 45 minutes and she needs about 2 hours. That's why she didn't want to go to bed last night. She was overly tired. Today she napped 5 minutes in the car and now she doesn't want to nap for real, but I AM NOT LETTING HER GET UP. She isn't crying. She's playing in her crib. She's making the musical toy that is hanging on her crib go right now. I feel a little guilty letting her stay there, but if I got her up she'd just run around and make me chase her and she might hurt herself. She's in that, "I'm so tired I fall down a lot state." Okay... Isn't this a fun post? This is what happens when I have 10 minutes ... :-)

Updated to add that Miss K "won" and never took a nap. Bed time is early tonight. I also think 22 months is too early to give up a nap!

Updated again... She fell asleep at 6 pm and slept until 7:30 and then bounced in her crib from 8:45 pm until 10:45 pm. Literally. She was holding on to the rails and JUMPING. She was up bright and early at 8 am this morning (Saturday).

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Spelling and pants

Miss N (4) is obsessed with spelling. She asks me how to spell pretty much every word she can think of, and then some! She will ask me how to spell a long sentence and I'll take a deep breath and spell the whole sentence as fast as I can. She laughs and laughs.

The pants are good. Did I ever tell you I found a pair I liked? I didn't go for the "warm" part. I found a pair of black cropped ones and I love them. Really really love them. They sit really low on the waist/hips and they are nice. They were fairly cheap; very comfortable; pretty hip and now; and they are dressy enough for work or casual enough to look at home at the park as I'm playing with my 3 little girls.

I had a colleague rave about them yesterday. She came up to me 2 or 3 times just to tell me how fabulous they are. She kept going on and on about how flattering they were on me. It was nice, but I'm not sure if she realizes that in addition to the great pants, I've also lost ~15 pounds since December. Either way, the compliments she gave me made yesterday, with all of its suckiness, a little better.

Oh, speaking of going to the park with 3 little girls. I did it. All by myself. With all 3. (It was 3/22 when I did this.) T (7 months) was strapped to my back and K(22 months) and N (4) rode over to the park in the double stroller. I had asked N to be my helper before we went. She agreed. She was really really good. I find that if I talk to her about the role she needs to play in a situation before we get into the situation she does much better. She helped me with K and she stayed with me. (She has a tendency to wonder off.) Anyway, I didn't know if I could take all 3 and make it home with all 3, but it worked. Woo-hoo. I will do it again. And yes, I wore the pants. (tee hee.)

There is a day

There is a day, in the spring, here where I live, when the hills hit their most maximal green point. I do not know if we have reached it yet, but we are close. Then after the pinnacle, they slowly start to fade to yellow and then brown. I am so enjoying the spring weather and the beauty of the green hills as I drive to and from work. I always try to see if I can perceive slight differences in the green-ness from day-to-day. When I was driving into work everyday, it was hard. When I only drive in once or twice a week (what I do now) it is easier to tell the difference in the color. I love spring (probably the rare person who doesn't eh?).

Yes, you can tell from the tone of this post that today was a little better of a day than yesterday. I was really busy with work and I have a headache (didn't get enough sleep or caffeine), but I am in better spirits. We are meeting with the designer/construction firm tomorrow. I will keep you updated on what happens there.

My husband and I sat down and talked about what we would be willing to cut out for the project in an effort to reduce costs. We'll see how much they are willing to negotiate. Not just in terms of price, that is very important, but also in terms of start date. They need to work to fix the relationship they damaged. I think that in many ways we might be better off working with someone else. I think this company thinks they are too good and they need to realize that no one is so good that they can just abuse clients.

Anyway... More soon.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

It's a good thing

It's a good thing I felt good yesterday, because if I hadn't, today would have done me in. Looking at the bigger picture of life, my complaints are pretty minor. In fact, I have nothing to complain about when you look at the bigger picture of life, but today, this is what is bringing me down. Please be warned that this post contains EXCESSIVE whining on my part.


First... We met with the firm we chose to do the remodel on our house. They came in with a bid of 20-30% more than the highest range they initially quoted us before. But they get around being held to that initial quote because the scope of our desire changed (when we worked with their designer) and thus so did the costs.

They also let the start date slip by a month and 1/2 from an already later date than they initially told us. Now, do we go back to the drawing board, and find a new firm and do a new design and work with; or do we pay through the nose and get started in LATE MAY instead of April like they initially told us when we paid them a retainer? (When we first spoke to them before the retainer it was a March construction start date. I feel baited and switched.) There are also two more factors bringing me down about the remodel, but I'm not up to writing about them here.



Second there was work. I was late to a meeting because of the meeting with the designer. Not that big of a deal, but another colleague wanted to pre-meet before the next meeting I had... I spent 20-ish minutes in the meeting I was late getting to, and then went on to the stooge-like second meeting that never actually happened because the 4 people that were on site (myself included) were confused about the time, and location. Two of the people who were supposed to be on site weren't there (one, the project leader, had a good excuse and she had called). The other one who wasn't there is the one who is "supposed to" be organizing the project. I say "supposed to" because really he's only creating chaos.

After a series of phone calls and running around, I finally made an executive decision and called the project leader, who wasn't there (and had a good excuse). The project leader agreed with me and we're kind of "voting the person who is supposed to be organizing the project off the island."

Of course, nothing is that simple, and getting rid of this person requires a lot documentation and a paper trail. It's about time we're doing something though because he's been not organizing things for about 4 years now. So that was my little bit of time at work. I had to spend it organizing a project that should have already been organized. Then I helped another team on the project figure out a solution to their problem. It didn't take a lot of time, but I had NO time to begin with, so in that sense it took a LOT of time. (It's all perspective.) I didn't even get to do anything on my own part. That's what I'll do in a little while tonight.



The third thing that was bad was my own fault. I was so busy being so distressed about the first thing (the remodel) that I missed the exit on the freeway and I cost myself about 10 minutes of time (and given that I already lost other time today) and I was late getting home for the nanny. The one good thing is that she didn't complain. I will send her an email. I kind of snapped at her when I got home and I shouldn't have, but I did apologize before she left. No, actually, I didn't exactly "snap," I just asked her to check T's diaper to make sure she wasn't poopy. I told her T had been poopy yesterday when she left and that she needed to change T right after T's nap. (I don't think that's unreasonable. And I held back and didn't say that T had also been poopy when she left the preceding Wednesday too. It bugs me when T is left poopy.) After she changed T, I thanked her and I explained it was a stressful day. I hate to feel guilty about asking someone to do something that they should just d and that's what I feel like here.



So my 4 year old looked at me tonight when I first got home and said, maybe you should take a nap Mommy, you look tired. I said, that would be lovely, but T (7 months) needs me. N (4) said, well, maybe you can explain to her you need a nap and maybe she'll take one with you. So cute. I said, that's a nice idea, but then K (22 months) will be getting up from her nap and who will watch her. She suggested that I explain to K that I needed a nap and that maybe K would listen to me, because she does sometimes, and be a good girl. If it were only that simple.

Today, it feels like life is out to get me. I'll be fine in the morning I'm sure. You can bet the girls are going to bed early tonight! (Sleep is important.)

So, an internet friend has this wonderful mother that always makes her feel better. I feel like that's what I need right now. I need a Mom. I need someone to stroke my forehead (even if it's just metaphorically) and tell me it's going to be okay. Logically I know it will be okay. Logically I know that all of the things I'm stressing about aren't that important, but right now I want empathy and a shoulder to cry on. My husband and I will be able to figure it out, that's what we do, but really, a Mom to take care of me is what I want. Sometimes being the grown up is NO fun.

You should have seen how I felt as I was nearing delivery of T (7. 5 months ago) and how much I wanted a Mom then. I have a Mom, and she loves me and I love her, but she's reaching the age where she needs me to be the adult and she needs someone to take care of her, and she's far away. And if I explained all this to her she'd only be confused. Sigh.

I'll be better tomorrow. Or else you get another whiny post like this one.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Me, Me, Me, it's all about me!

I'm feeling much closer to how I feel when I'm not pregnant. I was just starting to feel like "me" again after K (22 months) was born and then POOF I was pregnant with T (7 months). I feel good when I am pregnant, and I have a lot of energy, but now I am feeling like me again. I sure hope that doesn't get me pregnant again. (We have medical technology on our side this time to prevent that!)

I feel good. I feel energetic. I am feeling more patient (the pregnancy hormones make me tired and less patient). I'm feeling like I can usually figure out how to manage situations with the girls and keep them from crying. Parenting, and keeping kids happy, requires a great deal of mental gymnastics (and sometimes physical)! One has to feel agile, ready to do silly things, and ready to assess situations and intervene quickly to keep them smiling. When I was pregnant and then right after T was born, I couldn't do it. There was a lot of crying at our house, from the girls and me. Now I feel like ME again and more importantly I feel like I can do this parenting gig much better.

I'm still overwhelmed a lot. I still feel like this is the toughest most important job I've ever done, but I also feel like I just might be able to be up for the challenge.

Whew... Everybody join in with a rousing chorus of "I feel GOOD....na-nananana na-"

Monday, March 20, 2006

Once a week Part 2

Back to the topic of sleep... Once you start on sleep, it's hard to stop!

I may have made it sound so easy with N when she learned to sleep on her own. It was so much easier than I expected the second time, that I was shocked! However, the time leading up to doing it, and when she was crying, was harder than you can imagine. And even though the second day was so easy, there were other days that weren't as easy, but that's the way it is. I knew N though and if she ever fussed/cried for more than 10 minutes, that meant she just wasn't ready to nap. Same with K. I'm learning that it's the same with T too.

At night, we're working on getting T to sleep in her crib. Her favorite place to sleep is snuggled next to me in the middle of our bed. I'm fine with that as long as she sleeps. Up until her ear infection she slept all night. After her infection, she started waking up at least once, but it was because she was learning to crawl. Now, she sleeps most of the night if she's in bed with me, but she is having a harder time going to sleep at night in our bed.

What we've been doing for the last few nights is putting her to bed in her crib around 9:30 (she falls asleep on her own fairly easily with a little fussing) and then we go to bed around midnight. She's still in our bedroom, so it's hard to get ready for bed with her asleep in our room. I'm thinking of moving her to her own room. I'm sure that will happen in the next few weeks. I don't want to move her because when she sleeps in her crib it's only part of the night. She usually sleeps in her crib until sometime between 1 and 4 am and then she wakes up and comes to bed with me. She nurses around 3 am and then again around 7 am. She gets up for the day around the time we get up--about 8 or 8:30. She's not quite "sleeping through the night" but it's close. I only have to get up to get her when she comes to bed. She nurses while I sleep. I get almost a full night's sleep so I'm not complaining. In some ways T is the easiest baby (of my babies) at night and in other ways she's the most difficult. She's much more of a baby snuggler than N ever was.

If T were my first baby I'm sure I'd be worried about getting her out of my bed, but I know she'll sleep in her own space when she's ready. You wouldn't believe how much her sleeping habits have changed in the last couple of weeks since we got the crib for her. She's day sleeping so much better. Her night sleep hasn't changed that much except she's starting off by herself (instead of fighting me and sleep) and then joining me in my bed.

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Okay... There is more that I wanted to write about, but now I have to finish getting ready for work... Here's a list of topics...

Lunch on Friday (very random stuff because I needed a grocery store run...

The parent teacher conference with N's (4 years) teacher.

My friend's annoying husband!

My couch.

More soon!

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Things that make me melt!

Tonight K (22 months) was playing with her "Little People" animals. She had two giraffes (that look alike) and called them "sisters." She held them up to each other and made kissing noises and said, "Sisters. Hug." Could it get any cuter and sweeter than that?

Dorkdom

Dorkdom is good. I often live there too.

So much in Western Culture (aka U.S.) is focused on the negative or they dysfunctional because we're not taught to celebrate the good times. There is finally a shift of winds in the world of Psychology to focus on happiness and studying it (http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu). I'm so happy about this! I hope more people pick up on this trend.


We should celebrate the good times in life and we shouldn't have to apologize or feel guilty about them, but we do. Happiness is not "finite." If I'm happy, it doesn't take away the potential for you to be happy too, but I think a lot of times that's what people think.

I also often worry when I'm happy that other people will be jealous of my happiness.

&

I often worry when I'm happy that I'm tempting fate by being happy.

These worries are by-products of my experience in the world of psychology and the work-aholic culture of America. When I have more time, I'll talk even more about this. But right now, I have a pizza in the oven and it is almost done.

Let's start a happy club! Happy is good. Enjoying life is good.


Okay, this is kind of short and not completely coherent, but it's the best I can do right now.

Happy dance!

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Once a week

(Addendum added 7/11/06)

It seems like I have to do a random post once a week, otherwise I don't end up recording all the things I want to record. I would like to write deep meaningful posts about each thing, but I never have enough time. Hang on here we go! A virtual whirlwind tour of our lives.
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Wednesday was a 5 advil day. My left shoulder and neck were so sore I couldn't even think when the advil wore off. I don't like taking advil, because of the potential side effects, but it was necessary to get through the day. It was amazing how much they helped.

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K (22 months) has started saying, "Miss you Mommy," or "Miss you Daddy." It's very very sweet. She also grabs me by the neck with both hands around my neck and pulls me into her and says, "Kiss Mommy." Sweet too, but a little disturbing when she puts her hands around my neck.

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Sleep Stuff

T (7 months) is now learning to fall asleep on her own for naps and night time. We bought her a crib of her own (now we have 2) because I wasn't ready to move K (22 months) out of her crib. T is crawling all over the place so she can't do naps on our bed or even the floor (she just crawls all over the place and won't fall asleep). She had been fighting sleep more and more. It was time to have her learn how to sleep on her own.

The last few days she's been falling asleep after about 2-3 minutes of cry/fussing (not full-on crying) and taking good naps (1-3 hours). The first time she did a nap on her own she cried for 15 minutes before she fell asleep. It was very painful for me to listen to her cry, but it was time. It was time because she cried when I was holding her and trying to help her fall asleep. Regardless of whether I held her or didn't hold she was going to cry. Therefore, it was time for her to learn to sleep on her own.

I know a lot of parents won't do CIO. I don't think of it as CIO. I think of it as Learning to Sleep on Your Own (LTSOYO). Much nicer ring to it--maybe I'll write a book. I would love to see a way to get my children to sleep without crying, but nothing has actually worked. All of my girls reached a point when they couldn't go to sleep with me holding, rocking, walking or even being near them. They all had to do a little crying as they transitioned from falling asleep with me helping them, to falling asleep on their own, but it wasn't a bad thing.

The folks that call it CIO make you think you are going to damage your child psychologically if you let them cry for a while. (A short while, not a long while. I personally wouldn't allow longer than 20-30 minutes.) (Also, if a child throws up from crying, I would not leave them to cry--remember I have one of those kind of kiddos. She didn't start doing the throwing up thing until recently, but now, we don't let her cry at night. We get her to bed before the crying starts.)

So back to the point I was making, I completely believe that you will not damage your child by letting them cry a little. Trust me, I'm a developmental psychologist (not that kind... the research kind). It will not make them feel abandoned. N and K are really good sleepers, and they are both very secure little girls. K goes to bed and gets up a little earlier than we like (she tends to get up around 8 am and we like 8:30 or 9 am), but she sleeps ~12 hours straight almost every night and does a 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon. I can't really complain.

N sleeps 12-ish hours a night and is on what we consider the perfect schedule (9:30 ish - 9:30 ish). Sometimes she'll go to bed a little earlier and get up a little earlier and then sometimes she'll go a little later and get up later too. N just gave up her nap this fall when she was about 3 years 8 months.

When N was little I didn't want her to ever cry. I thought CIO was the worst thing ever. As she approached 10 months, I was spending about 3 hours a day getting her to fall asleep (1 hour for each sleep and she was taking 2 naps plus nighttime). Maybe I'm just not a good enough Mom, but I couldn't walk her for an hour before each nap and at night. She wouldn't let me sit and rock her... Nope I had to walk her. My back couldn't do it. She had to cry it out. I think she cried nearly 20 minutes the first time and then about 2 seconds the next time. That was it. I wished I had let her learn to sleep on her own sooner. With K, she learned to sleep on her own shortly after 6 months in about 6 minutes of crying.

I wouldn't try to get any baby under 4 months to learn to sleep on his or her own. I believe there is enough evidence about developmental changes that occur around 3-4 months that show they really do need lots of help with everything including sleep up until this point. When they start to hold their own head up, roll over and sit up, they are beginning to be able to be in charge of how they interact with the world, and it's at this point that I believe they can begin to learn how to take naps on their own. I personally prefer 6-7 months (or when they learn to crawl) as being the age for doing LTSOYO, but each child is different.

Whew... I didn't mean for this to become a sleep post... So anyway, T is going down for her naps pretty well (about 2-3 minutes of fussing--not even real crying) and now she's sleeping 1-3 hours at a time. She was kind of sleep deprived before--only doing .5 hour naps before. I'm happy she's doing better at sleeping. She was ready to LTS on her own.


Okay... That's it for tonight... Sorry for all the sleep talk! Now I'm tired and need to sleep. Tomorrow I'll finish the other random things I was going to write about.


Addendum:

I hope that this post comes across as only being what worked for us, as telling my story, and sharing why I think CIO isn't the work of the Devil, not as me advocating CIO or LTSOYO... I mean I am advocating to try LTSOYO and see if it works or not if your current sleep solution isn't working for you. If your kids are sleeping in a manner that is satisfactory to you, then don't mess with it! I'm all about if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Does that make sense?

Friday, March 17, 2006

Uncoordinated much?

Today, it was time to wash the sheets. That's fine. I don't mind laundry. However, I don't know why, but I hate folding sheets. Oh, wait, I know why. It's 'cause I don't know how to fold them. Whenever I try to fold our king bed sheets, I end up tangled up in them like a mummy.

My husband, now he can fold sheets. When he does them, they have little creases in them and turn into a nice little rectangular package. They look professionally done. They look like they did when they were new and fresh out of the package. When I try to fold them I end up wadding them up, kind of shoving them in the closet, and then closing the door really fast. I can almost fold twin bed sheets. They aren't as cumbersome. They end up a little wadded looking when I fold them, but not as embarrassingly so as king ones.

Anyway, the point to this post is that I don't mind washing sheets and making the bed as long as I can wash and dry the sheets in the same day so that I don't have to fold them!

Thursday, March 16, 2006

In the jeans and In the genes

In the jeans...

Yippee... The scale is finally moving downward again and not stuck at that same number. I was kind of at a plateau for a few weeks, but now, the scale has gone down!

Last night, in my aerobics class, I wore a tank top and I saw some bones sticking out of my clavicle area. I haven't seen those particular bones for a LONG time. You have no idea how excited I was.

This morning, I tried on another smaller pair of jeans, and they FIT. Plus they are a darker blue than the other ones I've been wearing... Dark tends to make people look skinnier, so I'm very happy. (In case you're keeping track, 10-ish pounds to go.)

And now for "In the genes..."

I just read a piece in the March 20th, 2006 issue of U.S. News and World Report (the On Health piece by Bernadine Healy, M.D.). Since it was about coffee, it caught my eye. I love the stuff.

The article discusses the myriad of studies around the effects of caffeine and the contradictory results that have been found. For example, some studies have found that coffee decreases the risk of heart attacks, while others have found that coffee increases the risk.

Confused as to whether you should imbibe?

Dr. Healy explains that there is a gene that produces a protein that makes some people experience slow caffeine metabolism. People who are slow metabolizers are at increased risk for heart attacks if they consume a certain amount of caffeine. However if the gene makes you a fast metabolizer, then there may be a protective effect of coffee, as the faster metabolizers of caffeine experienced fewer heart attacks when they drank coffee than non-coffee drinkers.

Wow. It's all about metabolism, and it's your genes that determine what type of metabolizer you are. Therefore, your genes decide whether coffee is potentially good or bad for you.

I am so excited by this piece for so many reasons. I'm excited because the knowledge we're gaining about genes and how they interact with medical treatments and even food will really be able to help people (doctors and regular people) make better decisions about their diet and medical treatment. I'm excited because I feel like medicine is on it's way to becoming more of a science and less of an art (though it still has a formidable journey). I'm excited because I see the potential to apply what we understand about genes to other "soft sciences" such as psychology and education. When we start understanding some of the contradictory or unexplainable results found in those fields, we’ll eventually be able to make interventions that work better and make a larger difference. Genes play a role in determining everything about a person. If we don’t understand (or especially if we aren’t aware) of all the factors that exert an influence, we can’t have real science. (I could talk about Dubya’s need for controlled experiments in the soft sciences and how silly this is at this juncture, (especially when he doesn't even understand the issues), but I’ll save that for another day.)

(Also, I really hope that I'm a fast metabolizer because I love coffee/caffeine. I so need it!)



... And now back to our regularly scheduled Mommy-blog.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Work is busy!

Work is busy, but in a fun way this week. I was in a video conference today and I learned that my hair is a little out of balance... We didn't discuss this in the video conference, but with video conferencing technology (at least what we have at my work), you see the other site and your site on a split screen monitor in front of you.

So basically I was watching myself (and the other site) for an hour. I had a lot of time to examine my hair. Call me vain, but admit it, you would have done the same. My hair is parted on the side, and I've been trying to find a person to do the PERFECT hair cut for the last few years. I know that I can't find the perfect person cause I am difficult to please, and my hair is hard to cut. I usually like the hairdresser the first few times and then I don't, and then I stop going to the person and find a new one. I've never "broken up" I've just stopped going. (Does that make me a bad person?)

I've gone through at least 6 hairdresses in 8 years. This current one, I can't decide. I'm giving him a little longer since we've been dealing with some issues that the previous person cut into my hair. I probably won't know for sure until June or July what the verdict is on him. Anyway, the left side of my hair (where the part is) is much bouncier and nicer looking than the right side (where I sweep the extra hair to). I don't know why, but the right side, even though it has more hair on it (the extra hair from the left), is just flatter and not as nice to look at.

I maybe should have spent longer than 5 minutes doing my hair this morning given that we had this video conference. I'm sure my hair looked "fine." One thing I've learned over the years is that no one really looks at you. You are your own worst critic. People just kind of accept who you are when they see you, for the most part. At least this is what I kind of learned when I was pregnant. Each time I was pregnant, I was sure that people could instantly tell that I was pregnant. I was sure they could tell my stomach was bulging and my boobs were bigger and I had that glow too right?

Well, each time I announced my pregnancy everyone was always surprised. I waited until I was 16 + weeks with number 3 when I announced it and people were still surprised. I was so showing, or at least to me I was. But that's the point I'm trying to make, people just don't notice little changes for the most part. Some people do, but most don't. Or at least the people with whom I work don't.

Bottom line, I don't like my hair, but everyone else probably thinks it is fine. (Should I have asked the people in the video conference today? Kidding!)

File under Boring, Lesson Learned, and then elaborated on until everyone else was really really really bored.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

How much caffeine is too much?

I'm drinking so much caffeine (in the form of coffee and tea) right now. I'm getting so much done. I'm still sleeping well at night. I'm a little worried that I'm drinking too much of it, but I don't want to stop. I estimate I am drinking 300-400 mg a day (according to the Caffeine estimates section).

I know that I'm addicted. I know that I couldn't be doing all I do without the help of my friend, caffeine. My husband who sees me in the morning before I drink coffee doesn't want me to give it up. He's scared I would never get out of bed and be a total slacker and that all duties would fall to him. He's probably right.

Kiss

Miss K (22 months) will grab me by both cheeks, lean in close and say, "Kiss Mommy." I just melt. Totally and completely.

Monday, March 13, 2006

One month 9 days...

That's the amount of time since K (22 months) last threw up. (See Operation No More Throw Up for more information on the Throw Up Prevention Program TUPP.)

K did throw up from her ear infection (during the week of February 14), but I don't count that because that was from coughing too hard, not from exhaustion and an irrational screaming fit.

We reset the clock tonight and hope that we can go longer this time. (At least this episode was during her father's watch and not my watch. He feels terrible. I might have been able to prevent this episode if I had been home because I lactate, but I was at my dance class. K loves to nurse. My nursing her at night does prevent some of the evening crazies. I can't feel let myself feel guilty though. She was just tired and that's what she does when she is tired. She screams and screams and throws up. Next time we just need to get her to bed a little earlier.)

Do you know the "pu" game?

You know the one... You smell your baby's feet and then say, "PU!" and wait for the giggles?

This has always been a favorite of K's (22 months). One of our babysitters started doing it with her and she loved it so much that I started doing it too. One night, when she woke up from her nap, I amused her (and me) by seeing how many times I could do it before she stopped laughing. She was actually still laughing each time when I stopped, but I was beginning to hyperventilate from "fake sniffing" her feet. I think I had sniffed her feet around 50 times. She loves that game!

Anyway, last night, when asked what she wanted to do more than anything else, she asked for that game. Pretty cute.

N says....

N (4) says that little girls have blonde hair and mommy's have dark hair,
and that she'll have dark hair when she's a mommy.
And that we'll hang out and she'll have 3 kids.

She wants to be a Mommy when she grows up.


She's pretty sweet when she says that. I love my N girl!

Sunday, March 12, 2006

just little things.

About 2 weeks ago, K (22 months) started calling N (4) by her real name instead of the nickname we have for N.

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My dryer is not heating. I've had it spinning and blowing cold air on the wet clothes in there for about 6 hours now. It just occurred to me that they would probably dry faster out of the dryer than in it. I'm hopeful that it's just a fuse or something that my husband can easily replace. We have a brand new washer and dryer at our new house, but it's four blocks away. I hate to have to move our new dryer over here. We won't be moving to the new house until about July though so it's not like I can just wait until we move.

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It's normally not very cold where we live, but Friday night, it was cold and snowed in the mountains. The snow level got down to about 2000 feet. We drove to a little mountain about 20 minutes away and the girls got to play in snow. There was more mud than snow, but they enjoyed seeing it. N (4) and K (22 months) picked it up and tried to make snow balls and their hands about froze off. N said we shouldn't go back to the snow until we get snow mittens. Smart girl.

After the snow we went to the mall and I got some spring clothes for the 3 little girls (one matching outfit for all 3) and some new capris and t-shirts. We ate out at a hamburger joint and then the girls got ice cream. K came home and took a 3 hour nap! It was a nice Saturday.

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Today was a fun day too, but I'll write about it later.

They learn so young!

Even at 6 months, T knows there isn't much better than getting into Mommy's purse.

Things that make you go "OUCH!"

Yesterday, T (almost 7 months with 6 teeth) bit me when she was nursing. Yowch! I was a little surprised I wasn't bleeding. It hurt for more than 3 hours.

It's not the first time I've been bitten, and I'm sure it's not the last, but it was one of the most painful.

Graceful

N (4) is cute. N is beautiful. N is smart. She's funny. She's enthusiastic. We love her like crazy, but graceful she is not. She can hurt herself in an empty padded room. Her father and I are amazed at this ability.

K (22 months) and T (6.5 months) are already more graceful than N. We don't know about T for sure, but she seems like it. N was always falling. Until she was over 2.5 years I had to walk around being her safety net at the park and in the baby gym classes she took. K, by comparison, does amazing feats and we worry about her when N is there to "help."

Her father finally figured out the problem with N. She is in a body that has two souls. They are trapped and they fight for control of her muscles. Now that we figured it out, it makes so much sense.

Friday, March 10, 2006

One more K thing

I forgot to write down (for posterity) that K (22 months) has 3 of her 2-year molars. We found this out when we went to the dentist last Thursday. I think this helps explain some of her unexplained grumpiness. Hopefully the 4th one will come through soon (the dentist said she could feel it right there).

very glad it's friday

My neck and back are killing me. My back hurts so much that I feel achy all over. I sure hope I'm not getting sick. I don't think I am, I just think my shoulders and neck are very sore. I'm not sure what caused all the initial pain, but I had a deep tissue massage yesterday and now my muscles are very very sore from being worked.

I probably shouldn't have let a month go by between chiropractor visits, but life was just crazy.

Pictures

Leave me a comment or send me an email (virtual_jk at yahoo dot com) and I'll send you a link to see some pictures of the girls.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Cute K

Yesterday at breakfast K (22 months) put on some butterfly wings. She sat down in her chair and her daddy called her a "butterfly princess." Apparently she really liked this because she then called herself a butterfly princess. Cutie!

The hardest job you'll ever love

Yesterday... sigh... I can't even write about it yet. I mean I wrote it down so I wouldn't forget, but it's not in a state to share yet. The virtual ink hadn't even dried on the N update, the one where I ended with, "I think we've turned a corner..." Well, now I'm not so sure.

I was so mad last night. I just kept getting more angry too as the evening wore on, but I'm much less angry now. I am so glad that last night was my aerobics class and that I got to leave her with the babysitters because I was seeing red. N got off with just a lot of icy talk from me. I didn't even yell, but we discussed what she did a lot, and I made it very clear how angry I was.

Okay, you hate me because I'm not giving all the details. I will soon. I just can't re-live it right now. (This blog is about the good and the bad.) Part of the details do involve working to make this not happen again. I think what happened is 85-90% her fault and 10-15% our and the nanny's fault.

Our life with 3 who are 4 and under is insane. Most of the time we can live in the insanity and not be too bothered, but every once in a while, the insanity level crosses a threshold and all hell breaks loose. Yup, that was yesterday.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

much cuter

Colleen pointed out that the picture of the woman doing yoga wasn't that cute, so here you go. T does downward facing dog.

Just so you know, it was hard to get those two shots. (That's why I cheated and linked to the woman.)

T Newsflash

T is pulling up now at 6.5 months. She's really strong. She's been doing something akin to downward facing dog for a while now.

N Update

#1 N (4 years, 2 months): She's my very smart, very independent, very cute little drama queen. She plays really well by herself, and is a really good outgoing kid at school and on the playground, but she doesn't like to share with her sister K (22 months). There is quite a bit of jealousy (goes both ways) in the relationship. I know they love each other though. When we were asking K if she wanted to go home with Grandma, and stay for a week with Grandma, K was saying yes, but N was saying, "No don't let her go. What will I do without her?" Very sweet.

An example of her outgoing friendly nature, on the playground she'll walk up to any of the kids there and say, "Hi, I'm N. What's your name?" Not a shy bone in her body when it comes to other kids.

An example of how independent she is, she fell off of her chair and went running from me because she wanted her blankie to snuggle with and not me. How many kids would rather snuggle with their blanket than their Mom? Maybe their blanket and their Mom together, but N, she just needs her blanket. Once when she was sick, the first time she threw up actually, I asked if she wanted me to sit with her, her response..."My tummy has a fever, and I need to sleep." She is so independent!

An example of her drama, nothing is ever said in a normal voice. It's either tragic, the world will end if I don't get this now; or pitiful, the world is completely against me and everyone hates me. I guess that's pretty normal for 4 year old though.

N is going to a very academically oriented preschool and is loving it. She is doing many pre-reading activities including learning to write, spell, and sound out 3 letter words. She's not reading yet, but that's okay. I'm not pushing her. I want her to enjoy learning and I think the things she is doing are phenomenal. She really loves school. When I take her she never even says good bye to me because she's too busy running in to get started on her day. (Literally the first day she ran in and NEVER LOOKED BACK.) (Another example of her independence.) (The first day was emotional for me, but she has loved it since the beginning.)

A few nights ago she was adding for me. Simple addition, just adding a one to numbers, but still, she was demonstrating that she has the concept of adding 1 internalized. I am proud and glad we chose this school for her. She will be totally ready for kindergarten. She doesn't start in the fall. Because of her birthday, school is still 1.5 years away. If she'd been born 1 month earlier she'd start this fall. I can't decide whether I'm happy about the wait for school, or sad. I think ultimately it will probably be good for her. She's so tall though, and she's a girl, so she's going to be towering over the boys in junior high. That's okay. We don't need her dating sooner--later is good on that one!


They are studying the ocean at school and she draws octopodes all the time. She also drew a great picture for me that she hung on my bedroom wall. It is a picture of the ocean, the beach, some seagulls. The lines in the picture are drains... "All drains lead to the ocean." (If you've seen Nemo you know this.) I really like the seagulls flying in the sky.












Here's a picture of an octopus... I think it's pretty cool.









N is very into coloring and she now "makes books." She takes paper and tapes two or three pieces together and then draws pictures on them and then "reads" us the story. Her most recent book was about a lion who pretended to be a camel and his mother was very worried about him. (Come on, you would be worried too if you were the Mama Lion!) Other stories have been about the forest where the witches live and playing basketball; going to the store to buy jelly, but running into strangers so you couldn't; and catching butterflies. Maybe she's going to be a novelist.

I'm encouraging her interest in making books because it means that when she's making books she watches less television (actually videos). I'm okay with video watching. In fact, I have read much of the research on media and children (I'll share more of this with you someday) and the shows we watch are good and the research done on them have shown positive effects.

N is so into videos. She has always been addicted to videos. When she was 14 months old she would watch as long as I would let her. I didn't let her watch for too long at any one time, but it did come in handy when there was something I needed to do. (Yea, yea, I know the American Academy of Pediatrics is worried that I'll ignore my child and let the television babysit.) Anyway, I've wondered if she wasn't going to be a filmmaker given her strong interest in the videos. She watches them over and over. I've always figured since she watched each video so many times that she was trying to understand each shot, the lighting, and I figure she was storyboarding in her head. (I can rationalize anything and make it positive!)

In other news, N really really wants a kitten. We've told her we'll get her one when she's five. Yesterday, she asked, "If we find a lost kitten, can we keep it?" I told her we could, but first we'd have to take it to the vet to make sure it was healthy and to make sure it wasn't a pet that was lost. The whole drive home from preschool she kept her eyes "peeled" to see if she could find a kitten. I think we're going to have a long 10 months till her birthday if she already wants a kitten this much! Oh, the funniest thing about the drive home, I saw a kitty sitting outside, he was probably a pet, but she didn't see him. So much for peeled eyes!

And finally, she seems to have turned a corner, or maybe it was only that yesterday was a really good day, but she was so sweet and helpful last night. If only she'd learn to share with her sister K (22 months). Life would be a lot quieter and calmer if she would.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

T's ears

After a rough night where T cried like she was in pain, I was a little worried that she had another ear infection. I called and got an ear check with a doctor today. I'm happy to report that T's ear infection is cleared up*, though there is some fluid still hanging around from that cold. I'm not surprised that there is still fluid in her ears because my ears still have some fluid from that cold. It's weird though, 'cause my left ear is still stuffy and my right ear is pretty clear feeling and that's what the doctor said T's ears looked like too.

Hmmmm... a cold that causes fluid build up in the left ear and not right? Pretty amazingly smart and specific critters those little viruses are, eh?


*I only did a 5 day course of antibiotics rather than the 10 day course the doctor prescribed so that's one of the reasons I was so worried. Before deciding on a 5 day course, I discussed it with T's doctor and she recommended the 10 day course, but because T got "the runs" from the antibiotic, I decided a 5 day course made more sense and let the doctor know. In many ways, I wish we wouldn't have done antibiotics for either K or T, but that's just me. (See http://www.drgreene.com/21_1771.html for more information.)

Sisters

The two older girls love their little sister.

Things I'm thinking....

I apologize for the roughness of this post. I posted this comment on Galloping Cats Blog (on this entry) and wanted to share what I'm thinking about language acquisition here.


Exactly what Deborah said re: any exposure is good. I know a little about language acquisition and 2 languages (Cognition and Development was what I studied in my doctoral program). Your baby may not speak as quickly if he hears two languages as a baby who only hears one language, but that's okay. He's learning a lot and trying to sort it and understand before he begins generating.

In addition, when L leaves, you can throw in Spanish when you want. In double addition, there are lots of programs (at least where I live) for school aged children to be in an immersive environment after school in another language. I think the literature suggests that language acquisition is much easier up to age 6 so you do have a few years, but might as well start now since L is around.


Oh, here's a good paragraph from...

http://www.ecs.soton.ac.uk/~harnad/Papers/Py104/pinker.langacq.html

Excerpt from a chapter by Pinker...(very famous experimental/cognitive psychologist)

"The chapter by Newport and Gleitman shows how sheer age seems to play an important role. Successful acquisition of language typically happens by 4 (as we shall see in the next section), is guaranteed for children up to the age of six, is steadily compromised from then until shortly after puberty, and is rare thereafter. Maturational changes in the brain, such as the decline in metabolic rate and number of neurons during the early school age years, and the bottoming out of the number of synapses and metabolic rate around puberty, are plausible causes. Thus, there may be a neurologically-determined "critical period" for successful language acquisition, analogous to the critical periods documented in visual development in mammals and in the acquisition of songs by some birds."

End quote...

Pinker also says...

"Most adults never master a foreign language, especially the phonology, giving rise to what we call a "foreign accent." Their development often fossilizes into permanent error patterns that no teaching or correction can undo. There are great individual differences, which depend on effort, attitudes, amount of exposure, quality of teaching, and plain talent."

and ....

"There is no evidence, for example, that learning words (as opposed to phonology or grammar) declines in adulthood."

Okay... done quoting... Go for it with L. It can't hurt. My philosophy is to maximize positive exposures for learning as much as possible! There are also videos you can get to help with language acquisition in both English and Spanish. And yes, there is scientific evidence that kids can and do learn from videos (though I don't like to do videos before a year if possible, but some kids do like them earlier and my first born actually started watching at 4 or 5 months and loved them. She’s now 4 and I think she’s doing great in terms of cognitive development.) (And yes I am aware of the American Academy of Pediatrics recommendations re: video and screen time for kids under two and I think they need to rethink them and they admit that the research just hasn't been done yet.)


Again sorry for the roughness... I know me though and I'll never get around to publishing this or something based on it if I don't do it this way.

2 babies 2 cribs

When we found out I was pregnant with T (6.5 months) I was overwhelmed. K would only be 15 months older than T. I would have two babies. Now that T is here and 6.5 months old, and K is almost 22 months old, I am learning what it's like to have 2 babies. In some ways, K is very grown up, she can put on her own shoes, she knows colors, she can count to 12, she says the alphabet mostly. In attitude, however, she is still a baby.

At night, I am so glad she is still in her crib. She will be the kind of child who will come in and ask to sleep with Mommy and Daddy. Right now, because K is contained in her crib, she sleeps there all night. I hear her wake up and roll over in the morning and if she was not in a crib, I know she would come padding in and ask to get in bed. While that is okay, we still have T in bed with us.

I said that T would sleep with us as long as she sleeps well and doesn't disturb us. I have marveled at how long she has managed to sleep in our bed and not disturb us. I have loved snuggling with her, but she's decided that 5 am is a lovely time to practice crawling. Nope, no-way from my perspective.

Today, my husband and I went to Ikea and bought a second crib because we're not ready for K to be in a bed yet. T will most likely go to sleep with us at night, but when she wakes at 5 am, after making sure she doesn't have any needs, (e.g., poopy diaper, hungry) she will go into the crib. We don't get up at 5 am. She usually falls back asleep by 6 am, but I am losing an hour of sleep a night and I'm starting to become a catatonic zombie. I'm tired. I applaud Moms who can get up at night and still somewhat function, but I can't.

Anyway, two babies need two cribs. We bought the cheapest one at Ikea and most likely in 6 months, K will graduate to a bed and T will graduate to the more expensive and more sturdy crib.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Two more K things


I forgot to write about K's obsession with shoes. She loves the white ones in the picture. I bought a size 6W last summer at the end of the summer cause she was outgrowing her 5W that she wore all summer long. I thought she'd wear the new ones for a month or two last fall cause she liked them so much last summer. I'm not sure why, but she didn't wear them. When we took our trip to warmer weather in February, I dug them out for her and they still fit. She fell in love with them. She calls them "white." She can put on the right one all by herself and velcro it, but she always needs help with the left one. She even puts the right one on the right foot. Pretty impressive for a 21/22 month old. The other morning she told me, "Feet cold. Need shoes. Need white, Mommy."

I try to ignore the fact that it's still technically winter and she's wearing white shoes often without socks. Fortunately winter here is usually no colder than 60 degrees (during the day).

The other K thing... Yesterday she took a 4 hour nap! (That's longer than a 3 hour tour. heh.)

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Update on K

#2 K (21 months--almost 22 months) is totally in the throws of language acquisition. She's been acquiring for a while, but I forgot how cute it all is. She speaks in 3-4 word sentences. She still gets frustrated and cries, but you can now get her to communicate (sometimes) when she is upset by saying "use your words." Of course, if she's tired, forget it! I'm mostly glad that we haven't had an episode of screaming until throwing up since we implemented Operation No More Throw Up."

K is starting to answer questions. You ask her a question and you can see her thinking to come up with the words she wants. I love it when they do this. I love watching those little wheels in her head turning. K will sometimes answer questions like, "What did you do today?" She doesn't always tell you what she did today, but she will tell you what she's done recently. (Today is kind of an odd concept for kids.)

I also love it when she just starts giving us a stream of consciousness of what she's thinking as she's playing. It's like the Buffy episode where because of some demon blood, Buffy can hear what others are thinking. Many of the characters are thinking deep thoughts, or things unrelated to the situation, but not Cordelia... She's just thinking whatever she says. Pretty funny, and that's what a toddler is like. (There are spoilers on that page for Buffy if you haven't seen that episode and think you might want to see it untainted in the future.)

K also knows how to answer questions when Dora the Explorer asks them. When Dora asks, "Will you help me with XXXXXX?" K will stand up and say, "Yes!" quite enthusiastically. She also will do the "We did it!" dance that Dora and Boots do at the end of an episode.

K is very very coordinated. I marvel at her fine motor control. She holds the crayon correctly, like an adult holds a pencil. I think her "drawing" technique is very good for a 21 month old. Here's a picture of her drawing. (She's not holding a crayon there, the "right way," but you can see she's not clutching them in her fist either.)



K now knows her colors well enough so that she'll tell you what they are. She knows, green, purple, red, yellow, orange and pink and is about 90% accurate. (Not bad for a 22 month old.)

K is still very very much Mommy's girl. I love how much she loves me, but sometimes it's actually really hard. It's hard for me to put her to bed at night because she just wants to cling to me. I usually snuggle and kiss her good night first and then hand her over to her daddy because I can't actually get her to stay in the crib without spending about 45 minutes getting her into the crib. He can get her to stay in there after about 5-10 minutes, but if I'm there she just cries if I put her down.

(I finally resolved this by just nursing her at night. I was trying to keep her at one nursing a day, but she is happier with 2-4. Oh, well. Someday she will be ready to wean.)

I think I've described her as my "girlie girl." She loves taking care of her baby doll. She calls her doll T. Pretty cute and sweet. She's a great big sister and is very gentle with the real T. Last night, she finished dinner first and she played on the floor and entertained the real T for about 10-15 minutes while my husband and I finished eating.

Besides babysitting her baby sister, perhaps the most exciting thing is a real world skill she is developing... She is going potty on the potty!!!!!! Woo-hoo! Celebratory dance. I wasn't trying to start potty training, but last summer we started sticking her up there because she was so interested in what her big sister N was doing. A few times she produced on the potty, and it was positive reinforcement for us, so we just kept sticking her up there.

In the last couple of weeks she's probably gone potty on the potty 12 of the 14 days. She does both types of activities up there and reducing the number of poopy diapers in my life is only a positive thing! She's starting to tell us when she wants to sit on the potty and when she tells us, she'll always do something. She's starting to stay a little dryer during the day. I'm so delighted by this, but I'm not pushing her. Heck, I haven't even gotten out the training pants yet. I'll probably have to dig them out soon.

A few last little things....

All of a sudden she has gotten into watching and reading "My Little Pony."

When she was sick, she didn't want to take her medicine and my husband would have to hold her while I put the medicine in her mouth. As she started getting better she started sucking the medicine out of the syringe, but still acted like she didn't like it and made my husband hold her while I gave it to her. It was pretty funny.

You ask her how she is and she says, "good."

She'll grab T's hand, or our kitty's paw, and shake either the hand or the paw and say, "Meetcha." (Short for Nice to...)

She'll hand T a toy (or several) and say, "Here ya go."

She loves to take walks and hold our hand while walking. She'll walk a long ways doing this. She will stand at the front door and say, "Yalk, Park. Mommy? Daddy?"

So cute!!!

To do list

  1. Get haircuts for N (4) and K (21 months).
  2. Work on not not getting an appointment for me to get a haircut since I'm trying to grow it a little longer. (My hair guy said, you need to stop coming to see me every 5 weeks if you want your hair to grow!) (I know, but he does such a good cut that I don't have to do anything to it when it's a fresh cut.) (I'm actually still going here... My hair is growing! (still growing 6/2/06, but I have had one haircut))
  3. Get my eyelashes tinted (I have really dry eyes and don't like to wear mascara. Flax seed oil really helps my dry eyes, but I still prefer to not wear mascara. It sounds like a luxury getting your eyelashes tinted, but it's not that expensive and it makes me feel good.)
  4. Laundry (The never ending story of laundry.) (did some and will feel better when I do two more loads... of course that good feeling will only last until Wednesday cause then I'll have two more loads I need to do.)
  5. Get my car cleaned on the inside and outside. (My husband remarked that he thought my car was on its way to becoming a bag lady's car. I agreed.)
  6. Write thing for C project (now waiting for feedback
  7. Write email for C for E project
  8. Do online thing for C project
  9. Decide if I want to review an article for a journal that just asked me based on my expertise. (Yea, yea, flattery will get you everywhere!) (decided to do it and now I have a month to do it... until 4/8 or so.) (I am a loser here. They took the article away from me because I never did it. LOSER ME.)
  10. Finish notes from an AB meeting
  11. Email S person about meeting in 2 weeks

  12. Work on O workshop (this won't be complete until after mid-April, but I am working on it.) Done now!
  13. Work on Lit Review for my new stuff and set meeting with my colleague We did this and will continue to do this forever. This is for that new project we're trying to start. I'll continue to update on this in the blog.
  14. Play with kids (never ending, but fun)
  15. Cook dinner (never ending and I like doing this)
  16. Schedule nannies for the two weeks one of my nannies is gone (of course, one of the weeks is when I'm at a conference, but it's okay.)
  17. Finish family blog and release it to family. (Still trying to do this...)

Random update #453 and remodeling!

My only promise with this one is that things between the asterisks are mostly related!

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N (4) is learning to cackle and it's finally sounding "cackly!"

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I haven't been to the chiropractor or gotten a massage, since the beginning of February. I didn't really plan to go so long, but life got crazy. First our trip, then the illnesses (K and T's ear infections) in the girls, and then work exploded! My back is not hurting worse than it was back in February, but it doesn't feel any better. I am pleased that it's not hurting worse. I am planning to go soon. Hopefully this week.

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T (6.5 months) is a crawler now. She doesn't go very far or very fast, but she's really truly crawling. She can also get herself up into a sitting position now very easily.

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After eating 1/2 a box of mint cookies (girl scout) on Thursday night, the scale went down 1.5 pounds on Friday morning. I decided I needed to go on the Girl Scout Cookie diet.

So Friday night, I ate another 1/2 a box. Saturday morning the scale went back up to the original weight. Last night (Saturday), I was playing with a new technology and it got to be midnight before I realized and I didn't get any cookies and the scale was down that pound and one-half again this morning (Sunday). Not sure what I'll do tonight about the cookies. I might try and go to the gym during K's nap today. Can't decide if I have time for that.

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I worked way too much this week. I probably worked about 27 hours. I'm tired. I also have had to get up with T (6.5 months) the last few nights because the antibiotics gave her the runs and you can't not change those diapers! Last night I changed 4 diapers in a row. I'd just get her sealed up, my hands washed, and settled in the rocking chair and she'd fill it up again. My husband saw the pile of diapers this morning and tried to let me sleep in. K (21 months--almost 22!) didn't want me to sleep in. She wanted me to nurse her. And I was worried that she'd weaned a few weeks ago. HA! I'm not sure she'll wean before college now.

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I have 132 draft posts here in blogger that are in various stages.

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Alfred is still wonderful. I still love him. I use him at least 3 times a week. Sometimes I just do one room and sometimes I can manage two rooms in a day (he has to charge up after he cleans a room before he can do the other one).

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My husband and I went to look at kitchen appliances for our remodel yesterday! It was fun, and overwhelming. I'll share more about this soon. (I really want to write more about the remodeling process, but, we don't have pictures or copies of our plans yet, and it takes a long time to type it all up. I will though soon!)

In the remodel, we're remodeling the whole main floor of the house. This includes, the kitchen, living room, dining room, our bedroom, and our bathroom. We'll be changing out fixtures in the guest bathroom, but not moving any plumbing or reconfiguring the space or anything. We're moving a few walls in our bedroom, adding a walk-in closet and changing the feel of the space. In the kitchen, we're gutting it, putting in a huge island with a table, changing the sliding door to a single french door, maybe changing the sky tunnel to an actual skylight, and some other stuff. It's pretty extensive, but hopefully the house will last us 15-20 years and then we'll be able to downsize a bit as the girls head off to college. (Unless they all stay home forever... K (21 months) because she's still nursing and T (6.5 months) because she still sleeps with us. (Kidding! I know that won't happen, I'm just feeling overwhelmed today!))

It's so odd to be doing a remodel to a house that we haven't yet lived in.

Okay, I've rambled enough for today.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

More Art

Go and take a look at this.

At preschool, N (4) is studying Paul Klee. The teachers had the kids draw that picture and this is what N did. My budding artist. (And she has the personality of an artist too.)

Friday, March 03, 2006

I think she's brilliant

But I'm the Mommy, and that's part of my job description. However, I present Exhibit A.



This picture was done 2/24/06. She drew a picture of a cat, complete with whiskers, and labeled it. All by herself. She's only 4. Just turned. Brilliant. My N___girl!

Newsflash!

T (6 months) fell asleep on her own in her sister K's (21 months) crib last night for 1.5 hours! She's been sleeping in our bed since she was a wee one, but now that she's starting to crawl/crawling, I can't leave her alone there for naps.

Last night, at 6:20 I had several things I needed to do and the two older girls were needing me. T was very tired and I thought, what the heck, it can't hurt to try to put her in the crib. It was great! She fussed, but didn't actually cry, for about 5 minutes and then slept. That nap was a thing of beauty and a joy to behold.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

'nastics!

That's how K (21 months) says Gymnastics. She also says, tamoline, lance eam (balance beam) (but it sounds like dancing the way she says it), jump, "ta-da" (with her arms up in the air, usually when standing on something very high), and summerpault.

She is loving her class. In her last class, she also kept calling her teacher "Teacher" and trying to say her teachers name. She also demonstrated her very good memory. She asked for the ball that they played with the last time were were at class 3 weeks ago (we were sick once and then it was winter break last week, so it was 3 weeks since she was last there). She remembered there was a ball. She remembered when she was running around on the side where she last played with it. I am impressed.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Buffy Fun

I just got all 7 seasons of Buffy on DVD. I'm so excited. I got them from a friend at about 1/2 the price it would have been to buy them new. Four of the seven seasons were still in the wrapper--brand new.

Did I mention that I love Buffy? N (4) won't get to watch them for a long time, but when she starts to be scared of "ghostess" (how she prounounces ghosts) and things that go bump in the night, I plan to tell her all about Buffy (at an appropriate level for her) and how she too can be like Buffy and fight the evil ones. I'm hoping that with the knowledge of Buffy she can take charge of her fears and feel empowered.

I mentioned once how I like to pretend I'm Buffy fighting vampires during kickboxing songs in my aerobics class. I seriously do. Sometimes I'm fighting beside of Angel, and sometimes I'm alone. It makes class more fun and it gets my heart rate up. It is fun to stake vampires and watch them turn to dust, even if it's only my imagination. (Silly here folks... You should be laughing with me.)

A glimpse into the future

Today, as I drove up to the coffee shop, I parked between two cars. Both cars had older women sitting in them. One car was a Geo, and one was a Mercedes. I thought, "Hmmph, what a contrast." I then wondered which older lady I would be in 30-50 years. Would I be the one in the expensive car, or the one in the economical car. After I got my coffee, they were both still sitting there and as I backed out, I suddenly knew which women I'd be.

I would be the woman in the Geo because her Geo was an electric car. She had a bumper sticker that said http://www.eaaev.org/ and all sorts of other indications of her green nature. I loved her!